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| ALISON'S STORY |
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| Alison was a very happy loving girl who is remembered for her big beautiful smile. She had many health problems but most people who knew her would not have realised that she was dealing with daily pain. She was to have major hip surgery in January 1999 and eventually would have needed both hips totally replaced. Despite the prospect of facing much pain and rehabilitation she was cheerfully looking forward to having her hip "fixed" so she could get back to doing the things she loved to do - including maybe even diving again. |
| I was awake early on the morning of October 16th 1998 because I was worried about my youngest daughter, Justine who had received upsetting news the day before. Suddenly I could hear crying and as I jumped out of bed I noticed it was just 6.15 am. It was Alison crying and I was immediately alarmed as she NEVER cried - no matter how bad she felt! She said "Mum, my head it feels like it's going to explode! There's something wrong - ring the Doctor ! " I cannot describe the fear and panic that I felt as Alison became more and more ill before my eyes. |
| By 6.30am she was unconscious and she stopped breathing whilst I was ringing the ambulance. She was quickly transported to hospital and placed on a ventilator. At 9am she was taken for a CT scan and about 10am I was told by the Emergency Doctor that she had suffered a major brain haemorrhage and was gravely ill. She was taken to Intensive Care where James (her wonderful boyfriend) and I saw her soon after. |
| We had the first Family Conference at about 11am and were told that due to the extent of the damage from the bleed, she had little hope of recovery. At this stage I had no immediate Family with me, but Graham and Gail (Brett's Mum and Dad) were up from the Gold Coast, of course James was with me and Shelley (Al's school friend) and her Mum were also there to give their support. I don't know how I would have coped without their help. Mark and Justine came to the hospital soon after, and I found it so hard to explain to them that their sister was so gravely ill. She looked so perfect - it was hard to realise that she would not be waking up and coming home to us. |
| I had phoned my husband Peter when I first got to the hospital at about 7am so he had to try and get a plane from Melbourne where he was working. Our eldest daughter Rebecca was studying at Melbourne University, and my sister was somehow able to get them to find her and give her the message to ring her Grandma and be told the terrible news. They also then started to organise their flight to Brisbane to see Alison. |
| Peter arrived at about 3pm and was so shocked to see his little girl in such a condition. Once again there was a Family Conference but this time her Dad, Mark and Justine were also there to hear Alison's terrible prognosis. I mentioned organ donation again as I had at the earlier conference, but that was not to be discussed until the brain death tests were performed the next day. None of the kids had a problem with organ donation as they knew that Alison had given permission on her Driver's License - they just didn't want to be in the position to have to honour her wishes. |
| The Social Worker rang the school to let them know what was happening and immediately our wonderful Principal was at the hospital also offering support. Many of Alison's school friends came and said their good-byes at her bedside. At times there would have been up to 20 people surrounding her - and never at any stage was anyone turned away from visiting. The ICU staff were so very supportive and understanding. |
| Rebecca and my Mum arrived from Melbourne at about 9.30pm. Becky, Mum and I stayed with Alison all night - her Dad was there too but could only bear to pop in to visit - it was just too hard. James was there most of the time as well. |
| The brain death tests were not commenced until about 10am the next morning and the first test confirmed our worst fears.The next set of tests were performed a few hours later and Alison was pronounced Brain Dead at 1.48pm on Saturday 17th October 1998. |
| Soon after we were introduced to the Donor Co-ordinator who explained the procedures that would now take place. It was not until 9pm. that Alison went to the operating theatre for the organ donation, so there were many hours ahead of us yet. During that time there were more farewells and also time for James to take imprints of Al's hands and feet which we now have as precious memorials. |
| After walking with Alison as far as the lifts for her trip to O.T. we went home for a few hours. It was so strange to walk back into the house after leaving it in such panic and fear some 38 hours earlier. I could not believe how our lives had changed. We were rung at about 1am to go back and see our Girl after the operation. It was so hard to see her just lying there as though she was asleep - no tubes to hide her lovely face and no marks to show why she had died. |
| The next few days we were surrounded by friends and family all offering support - the school were so generous in organising the Funeral Mass, I just could not believe that I was discussing Alison's Funeral - she was too young for a Wedding so a Funeral was totally incomprehensible! |
| I could not understand how this could have happened - she had been under the care of Specialist Doctors who could not diagnose her illness - apart from her hip which we eventually had to travel to Melbourne for a diagnosis (we were told in Brisbane her hip was totally NORMAL and perhaps her symptoms were just attention-seeking - WRONG!!) We agreed to an autopsy to try and discover the cause of the massive bleed and the initial report suggested a blood vessel problem or an aneurysm. Six weeks later I was told that the bleed was due to a ruptured Arteriovenous Malformation in the cerebellum. I was also told that they are not hereditary and not to worry about my other children. However following some research and advice, the kids and I had MRIs and Rebecca was found to have an AVM as well. She also has had NO symptoms but because of Alison's death it was suggested that Rebecca did have treatment. She underwent radiosurgery in April 1999 but the results won't be confrimed until 2001. |
| Alison's Funeral was held 9am.Thursday, October 22nd 1998. It is quite ironic that she actually died on one of her Brisbane school friend's 18th Birthday and was buried on Anna's 18th Birthday (her school friend from Melbourne). It was a typical spring day in Brisbane - the sun was shining and it was quite warm, any other day it would have felt good to be alive, but it only made it feel just so much more unreal. The Church was full of Family, Friends, Work Colleagues of Peter's from Melbourne, Army Friends - some who we hadn't seen for years, Friends from Diving (from Queensland and Melbourne) and of course all Al's school friends. The School was given the day off for Alison's Funeral - everyone was so shocked at her sudden loss and it would have been impossible to return to a "normal" school day after her Funeral. |
| Rebecca read most of the Eulogy - she wrote a lot of it herself and did a wonderful job of presenting it, Mark and James also took part. The Mass included many of her friends and they all did so well. The Greenday song "Time of Your Life" was played and has become known as "Al's Song". Her coffin was carried out by Mark, James, Brett, Matthew, their Dad Graham, and James' Dad, Seamus. She is buried at the Mt Gravatt Cemetery Brisbane, Queensland. |
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| Death is Nothing at all |
| Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant, It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. |
| All is well. AUTHOR UNKNOWN |
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| February 1999 |
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| 19th May 1999 |
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| We received many messages, letters and cards and amongst them all were these special tributes : |
| The Sadness in My Eyes..... |
| I thought we would always be together, That nothing could alter our ties. Now I find death has changed our course And placed sadness in my eyes. |
| In bed at night I think only of you, I dream that you can hear my cries. Despite all my efforts, I can't bring you back And I can't hide the sadness in my eyes. |
| I tell everyone I am doing fine, I think they can see through my lies. I can't function without you here, I can't fight the sadness in my eyes. |
| It was too sudden that you left me. I never got to say my good-byes. Now I am left with a gaping hole, And the perpetual sadness in my eyes. |
| Written by Anna Kelly, 1998. |
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| ALISON'S SONG |
| I don't have it in me to forget about her, after all she's the one who taught me the fun of being a diver. I'll never forget her smile her eyes like the sun, her hair gold and brown, she's the only girl I never saw frown, although we'll miss her I will always remember the good person that she became. WRITTEN BY ELLY AGED 8. |
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| In June 1999 I received a wonderful Gift from one of many people who had such fond memories of Alison. It was a rose plant called "Alison". I now have a garden of Alison roses and derive much pleasure from tending to "her" roses. |
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