I A M T H E O N E

I am the one who never felt a sense of belonging, like I had a home. I am the one who took her first flight at the age of 2, peacefully soaring across the Atlantic Ocean. I am the one who landed in an airport in Mexico City, half asleep as I was carried to the apartment where I would begin a new life. I am the one who took my first steps in the country I wasn’t born in, stumbling through the streets filled with spicy smells and radiant music. I am the one who began to absorb the culture, becoming less and less of a stranger in this vibrant country. I am the one who’s little sister was born in the U.S.A. although my family lived across the mexican border. I am the one who showered my newborn sister with loving hugs and tears the second she was brought home, delighted to have a sibling to share all of my cherished moments with. I am the one who realized that happiness doesn’t last forever, as I shakily stepped onto another plane with my small family. I am the one who pushed back the tears as I flew across the globe, realizing that I would never get a chance to see the people I grew close to again. I am the one who left everything I knew behind yet again. I am the one who watched the land rush by as I stared out the dusty window in a train that would take my family just out of Paris, France, our new home. I am the one who dragged my feet as I walked into my new room and set up my favorite toys, trying not to think back to how comfortable it had been in my tiny old room. I am the one who went to a new preschool and was forced to make friends with people whose language I didn’t know, listening in on their conversations and trying to understand. I am the one who began to forget spanish as I learned french, my new language. I am the one who got to know new kids and made friends with whom I could cry as I watched movies. I am the one who found out I was going to have to start over once again, after just starting to get used to my new life. I am the one who packed up my belongings into boxes, slowly placing all of my toys and clothes inside. I am the one who cried as I hugged my friends goodbye, knowing that this would be the last time i get to see the people id grown so close to. I am the one who stumbled into my grandmother’s apartment after a long flight. I am the one who was left by my parents to stay with my grandma, missing the need to share every candy I stole from the kitchen with my sister. I am the one who started first grade in Russia, forced to make new friends again. I am the one who forgot the French language, just as easily I had forgotten Spanish. I am the one who always sprinted up the stairs to my grandmother’s apartment in hopes of seeing my parents there, only to be disappointed each and every day. I am the one who kept waiting for months, until I finally heard the news that my family would be coming back for me. I am the one who grabbed onto my parents, screaming that I would never let them go again. I am the one who waved to my grandmother as the train took me and my family to the airport, only now having the realization that I would leave the friends I had just made. I am the one who boarded the plane with both dread and excitement, staring at the clear blue sky as we flew to the new country. I am the one who held my sister’s hand as we climbed into the backseat of our new car, driving us to our new home in Texas. I am the one who unwillingly trudged into my new room, already missing my grandmother and close friends. I am the one who was put into a summer camp in order to learn the new language, only to end up judgmentally staring at all these arrogant-looking kids. I am the one who started 2nd grade in a strange school, with bigger desks and spiral notebooks. I am the one who beamed with excitement when I tried the school food, only to realize that it tasted like fossils preserved from the dinosaur age. I am the one who would sprint to the field for recess, now friends with the kids I had once thought of as arrogant. I am the one who watched life fly by as I built close friendships with the people around me, although part of me knew I wasn't going to stay there for much longer. I am the one who said goodbye to everyone at 5th grade graduation, not willing to tell them that this would be the last time we ever see each other. I am the one who didn’t shed a tear as my family drove past the Texas border to our new home in California. I am the one who was homeschooled for a year because I wasn’t willing to make new friends and go to a new school, knowing that I would move across the Bay Area in a year either way. I am the one who had to push away my previous fears to walk into my first classroom in 7th grade, to meet all the kids my age. I am the one who slowly grew comfortable with my new home, starting to make close friends while praying that I wouldn’t be moving again until college. I am the one who began to hang out with my friends every Friday, trusting them more than I had ever trusted anyone in my life. I am the one who enjoyed the fresh beginning for the first time and finally adored my new life. I am the one who always walks into the kitchen when I smell the sweet chocolate covered crepes in the morning and feels like I have a real home for the first time. I am the one who lived all over the world, only to find that the small town of Albany would be closest to my heart. I am the one who finally feels a sense of belonging, like I have a home.