| Closer Than Brothers |
| Luke was getting worried. For about the past week, Bo had been unusually quiet. He'd been a bit concerned when he'd seen Aimee's note that Bo had gone home from their date early because he wasn't feeling well. But the next day, aside from being tired from not sleeping well, Bo had seemed ok, if a bit quiet. A week later, he was still quiet and reserved. Every evening he just sat out on the back porch, staring out at nothing. Even Uncle Jesse and Daisy noticed how quiet he'd become. Everybody was getting worried. But no matter what they tried, Bo refused to be drawn out. Finally, Luke decided to take a different tack. Maybe some company would help Bo snap out of this mood. One afternoon while they were out mending a section of the fence, he made his suggestion. "Hey Bo. How about we set up another date with Annabelle and Aimee?" Bo's entire body stiffened at the very thought. He forced himself to relax. "I don't think so, Luke." Luke put down his tools and turned to face his cousin. "Bo, what the hell is wrong with you? You've been sulking around for a week. Whatever's wrong, you can tell me! We've always shared everything, haven't we? Let me help you, please!" // Shared too much, is what we did � // Bo just couldn't tell Luke, not this. Especially not now. How could he possibly explain that now that the city slicker had shaken him to the core, he couldn't look at his cousin without thinking improper thoughts? It was as if the monster lurking inside all these years had awakened, and wanted to be satisfied. He loathed himself every time he gave in to the temptation, usually in the shower, to imagine Luke's hands on him, taking him to that special place. He couldn't take much more of this. Least of all the look of concern on Luke's handsome face. Turning away, Bo shook his head. "I'm just not real good company right now, Luke. Just leave it at that, will ya? You and Annabelle don't need me and Aimee; you go ahead and have a good time." Luke could see the tension in the set of Bo's shoulders. But he knew he wasn't going to get anything more now, so he gave in. "OK, Bo, if that's the way you want it. But I'll be here when you're ready to talk, ok?" He laid his hand on Bo's tight shoulder and squeezed gently. Much to his surprise, Bo abruptly pulled away and picked up his tools, turning his entire attention back to the job at hand. Luke took the hint and they worked the rest of the afternoon in silence. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few days later, Luke met Annabelle at the Boar's Nest. But try as he might, Annabelle wasn't foremost in his thoughts. There was something he had to ask her. "Annabelle, did Aimee say anything happened last week with Bo? He's been awful quiet since then, he didn't want to come tonight, I can't help wonder if they had a fight or something?" Annabelle studied her date. Luke Duke was a handsome man, wavy dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. She knew he liked her, liked the time they spent together. But she also knew the Duke clan was tight, and when push came to shove he'd always put family first. And she wasn't quite family yet. If Bo was in trouble, there was no way she was getting his full attention tonight. And truth be told, she liked Bo. He had been real nice to her sister, not pushing her when she wasn't ready. Maybe telling Luke would help. "Not really a fight. It was just � you know they've never � you know. Aimee's not as 'forward' as I am, I guess. She always liked that Bo never pushed her. But last time, she was ready for a little more, and I guess she surprised him. Turns out he wasn't waitin' for her; he wasn't ready yet either. I think it flustered him." Luke frowned. "That don't make no sense, Annabelle. He's been with lots of girls.� Annabelle stared at him. "Then why'd he tell Aimee that he just couldn't?" //Couldn't? // Was that what this was � a performance issue? Aimee starts getting amorous and Bo can't get it up? That could really shake a man's confidence. And it would be really tough to talk about. But now that he knew, maybe he could force the conversation. Bo was home alone tonight; Daisy was working, and Uncle Jesse was out. This would be his best chance. He realized Annabelle was waiting for a response. "I don't know, Annabelle. But I mean to find out. He's home alone tonight; I think maybe I'd better head back there and see if I can drag it out of him. Do you mind?" Annabelle sighed. She'd known from the moment she walked in tonight that Luke's attention was elsewhere. She reached out and squeezed his hand. "You go take care of your cousin, Luke." Luke smiled. "Thanks, Annabelle." He leaned across the table and gave her a quick kiss, then practically ran out of the bar to the General Lee parked outside. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bo sat on the back porch, a heavy sinking feeling in his heart. He'd come to a decision. He couldn't take much more of this, sharing almost every moment of his life with Luke, and wanting him so desperately. Sleeping in the same bedroom. And constantly having to hide. He had to leave. He wasn't sure yet where he'd go � maybe down to Statesville? He could probably get a job as a mechanic or something. And maybe hook up with Tommie Irwin? The college town would probably be a little more tolerant of men like them than folks around here. The thought both excited and terrified him. Unlike Luke, who'd had the misfortune of being just old enough to be drafted at the end of the Vietnam war, he'd never left home. The thought of leaving Uncle Jesse and Daisy � and yes, Luke � behind tore at his heart. But it didn't seem like there was any other answer. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even hear the familiar sound of the General Lee pulling into the yard, or the footsteps as Luke came out the back door behind him. ~~~ Bo was sitting on the steps, dressed only in an old pair of cut-off jeans. His blond hair was touseled, as if he'd come out right after showering and just let it dry wherever it was. He was staring out toward the sunset, but Luke had a feeling he wasn't seeing the gorgeous colors painted on the clouds. He looked so utterly lost that it nearly broke Luke's heart. Luke took the couple of steps to join him, sitting down next to him. Bo nearly jumped out of his skin when he suddenly realized he wasn't alone. "Holy cow, Luke! How'd you get there?" Luke managed a small smile. "You looked like you were pretty far away, Bo. Didn't even hear me drive up?" Bo shook his head, then turned to look suspiciously at Luke. "Hey, what are you doin' home? Annabelle stand you up?" Luke bit his lip, wondering how to go about this. "Uh, no, more the other way around. We had dinner, but I guess I wasn't the best company. Bo, I, uh I asked her if Aimee told her what happened last week. I couldn't help wondering if you two had a fight, and that's why you've been so quiet lately." Bo's eyes narrowed; this couldn't be good. "What did she tell you?" "She said Aimee turned up the heat some and you � couldn't." There, he'd said it. "Listen, Bo, it wouldn't be the first time a man had a failure. Or maybe you liked just being friends, I know Aimee isn't the prettist girl in town �?" Bo couldn't believe what he was hearing. And how dare Luke try to blame this on sweet Aimee? It made him angry. "Now wait a minute, Luke. Aimee's a real special girl. This ain't no way her fault. Don't you be implyin' that it is!" Bo's anger took Luke by surprise. "Whoa, ok, ok, take it easy, Bo! I didn't mean anything! But if it wasn't that, then what happened? Bo, please, you can't go on like this. Nobody else is around. Come on, you can tell me!" The concern in Luke's eyes was too much for Bo to take. He turned around, staring back out at the sunset. If he was leaving anyhow, he had to tell them why; they deserved at least that much. Now was as good a time as any. And maybe it would be easier to tell Luke when they were alone � he took a deep breath and started talking so softly Luke could barely hear him. "Aimee was right, Luke. I couldn't. But it wasn't because of her. Do you remember what happened earlier that day?" Luke frowned, thinking. "Oh � that city slicker with the flat tire?" Had Bo noticed Irwin's attention to him after all? Was that what was bothering him? Bo nodded. "He was lookin' at me, Luke. Like he wanted me." He waited to see how Luke would respond. Luke thought he understood now. "Is that what's botherin' you, Bo? Cause I saw what was goin' on. I don't care what he does outside of Hazzard county, people got a right to live how they want to live. But I swear to you, Bo, if he'd laid one hand on you, we'd have kicked his ass clear the hell out of Georgia." It's truth time. "What if I wanted him to touch me?" That was about the last thing Luke had expected to hear. He sat back, staring at his cousin as if he were a stranger. Bo WANTED that Nancy-boy to touch him? And didn't want Aimee? Was Bo telling him he was gay? That didn't make sense. What about all the girls he'd dated? When Luke just sat there staring at him, Bo didn't know what to do. He felt he had to explain. And once he started talking, the words just spilled out. "I ain't never really been all that girl-crazy, Luke, you always were the skirt-chaser. I just followed along with you like I always did with everything. The first couple of times it was so new and exciting I could, but after a while, it just wasn't enough. It was so nice goin' out with Aimee cause she didn't want that stuff. Then she turns around and that same night she decides she's ready � Oh, god, Luke, I was so hard that afternoon when we was with Irwin. I ain't felt that good since back when we were kids �" Suddenly it all came into focus for Luke. He'd been about 14, Bo would have been 12. He'd woken up with an erection and discovered for the first time how good it could feel. His cry as that first orgasm shook him was enough to wake Bo, sleeping in the other bed just as he still did. Bo was worried, thought he was hurt. He'd had to calm his cousin, assuring him that nothing was wrong, in fact he'd found something really cool. That night after school they'd snuck away, out back behind the barn, so Luke could show Bo what he'd found. Somehow they both knew this was something that ought to be kept private. Anticipation had Luke already hard by the time they started. He dropped his pants to show Bo, and began stroking himself. When Bo saw the look of pleasure on Luke's face, he wanted to feel it too. And although he was younger, his body was grown enough to respond. Seeing Luke was getting him hard. So he quickly dropped his pants and joined in. Luke reached over to show him how to hold it just right for the best feelings. And that was like magic; under Luke's 'expert' ministration, Bo quickly found his first release. When it was over, he lay on the grass, panting, with Luke grinning down at him. Bo's first sexual experience had been at his hand. Dear Lord, was Luke responsible for this? No, he knew better than that. He'd met a couple of gay men in the military. They all said it wasn't a choice, not anything that 'made' them that way. It just was. Bo's voice had trailed off, and Luke suddenly realized that he was waiting for a reaction. He was looking at Luke, his eyes filled with fear. "Nancy boys" like Irwin weren't well thought of around these parts. But the men Luke had known had been gay, but not even remotely effeminate like Irwin. Bo must be afraid that Luke would think him like the one gay man he'd met. Luke looked Bo right in the eyes. He reached out and placed his hand on Bo's shoulder. "It's ok, Bo. I don't care if you're gay. You're still you, still my best friend, my family. Family don't desert family. We'll deal with this, just like we deal with everything. Together." Luke's words took Bo by surprise. He'd been expecting rejection, hatred, anger. Instead, he found love and compassion. He didn't deserve this. And underneath it all, Luke's hand on his naked shoulder was doing things to him that he really didn't want to feel. Especially after Luke's acceptance � he had to move, to break that contact. He jumped up, half running down the steps, across the yard. Bo's explosive departure took Luke by surprise. After a stunned moment, Luke stood and took off after Bo, running full tilt to catch up with him. Breathlessly, he grabbed Bo's elbow, spinning him around. "Bo, wait! It's ok �" Bo angrily shook off his hand. "Don't touch me!" His anguished cry cut right to Luke's heart. He wanted so badly to comfort Bo, to somehow convince him that everything would be allright. Why didn't Bo want to be touched? Unless � oh god, it WAS his fault. He'd touched Bo back then, given him his first taste of pleasure. // And enjoyed it himself, if he was completely honest. // Their eyes locked. Bo's were still full of fear and pain. Luke kept his expression even. "Bo. Are you sayin' what I think you're sayin?" Bo couldn't lie to him, but he couldn't speak around the lump in his throat, so he just nodded. As Luke held his gaze, he forced the words out. "I keep thinkin' about what we did, Luke. How good it felt when you touched me. It ain't felt that good since then, until last week. Uncle Jesse did his best to beat it out of me, but I can't help it, Luke. And every time I look at you I remember � I can't stand it, Luke. I hate myself for feeling like this! I got to leave here, I can't keep wanting you like this!" Bo was sure now that Luke would reject him. He'd never felt so scared and alone in all his life. He stood there, his arms wrapped tightly around himself, as if he was trying to put up a wall between him and Luke. He was shaking despite the heat, and fighting desperately not to cry. He had to retain some semblance of masculine pride. Luke couldn't imagine how much Bo must be hurting, to even think of leaving home. He wasn't sure what to do, what could he say to make it better, and how to do it without touching Bo? Finally he found the words. "I know you're hurtin' right now, Bo. You're scared, you don't know what to do. I don't have any answers, but we'll find one. And you gotta stop hating yourself, Bo! That's a sure path to destruction. What you're feelin' right now, it's just because Irwin stirred up all those old memories. You got to give yourself some time to get used to this. Please, don't make any hasty decisions. It'd break Uncle Jesse's heart if you left �" Bo shook his head. "It'll break his heart to find out about me anyhow, Luke. We already know how he feels about this �" Luke's memories cast back to that year in their youth. They'd met out behind the barn after school every day for a week, discovering together the pleasures their bodies could give them. Thinking back now, Bo had always liked it best when Luke did him, rather than doing himself. They hadn't thought anything of it at the time; god, had they both been so innocent? And then one day, Uncle Jesse had come looking for them and caught them literally with their pants down. He'd gone into a rage, giving both of them the beating of their young lives. No wonder Bo was so scared now. He had to find some way to get through to Bo. "Yeah, he tanned our hides pretty good. But he also got us when we got into the shine back then. Lots of things you can't do when you're kids are ok when you're grown up. Bo, you're still YOU. Nothin's changed! And you just made it worse by keeping it all locked up inside. Now that I know, we can talk about it, ok? Figure out some options. Please, don't go runnin' off!" The heartfelt pleading in Luke's voice weakened Bo's resolve. Was it possible things could get back to normal? Could he learn to live with this � to live with Luke like he always had? Luke seemed willing to accept him even if he did have these feelings. Right now he felt like every nerve ending was on fire, every little thing set him off. Maybe he was just on overload, like they'd been when they were kids, and after a while it'd settle down? He just didn't know what to think. Luke saw the confusion in Bo's eyes, knew he was finally starting to get through. He hesitated; Bo had said not to touch him, but Luke knew he needed comfort right now, not sex. So he took a risk and stepped forward, reaching out and placing his hands on Bo's shoulders. "Bo, listen to me. You and me have always been best friends. Closer than brothers. Don't let this separate us. We'll get through it like we always do � together." Bo looked into Luke's eyes and realized that Luke was right. A lifetime of friendship was at stake here. He couldn't let this come between them. This was Luke. The one he'd always looked up to, the 'older brother' he'd always wished for when he'd been little. The hands on his shoulders were strong and supportive, not at all suggestive. And the eyes that looked back at him were anxious, pleading with him not to go. Underneath it all was the love that bound them together as family, a love that finally overpowered the self-hatred that was tearing Bo apart. After what seemed like an eternity, Bo nodded, his whole body sagging with the release of tension. He let Luke pull him close, holding on for dear life. // I ain't gonna cry. I ain't gonna cry � // the words went around and around in Bo's head as he leaned on his cousin. Luke sighed with relief as Bo sagged against him, trembling, breathing in great gasping breaths. Luke knew he was fighting the tears. He just held his cousin close, his embrace strong and reassuring, until finally Bo got himself under control and pulled away. "Thanks," Bo muttered, still a bit ashamed. "Don't worry about it, Bo." Luke turned and dropped his arm around Bo's shoulders, gently steering him back toward the porch. Night had fallen; the air was filled with the soft sounds of insects, the occasional flash of lightning bugs, and a feeling of peaceful stillness. Bo let Luke lead him back to the porch. They sat down on opposite ends of the porch swing, just sitting quietly listening to the night. Finally Bo broke the silence. "Luke? It really don't bother you that I � I'm gay?" There. He'd said it. "No it don't. Bo, you ever met a gay man before our helpless friend the other day?" "Nope." "I thought not. No wonder you're so upset. Listen, all gay men aren't like that Nancy boy Irwin. I knew a couple of guys in the service. Now I know the service don't take too kindly to that type, but you know, these people exist. You can't just wish them away. And some of them are damned good men. Guys I trusted with my life � literally. Just because you prefer sex with men don't mean you have to turn into a Nancy boy, Bo. You're still you. This has always been a part of you, just a part you kept hidden, even from yourself. It don't change anything else about you." Bo didn't say anything. They just sat there, rocking slowly back and forth in the warm summer night. Luke accepted him, even knowing what he wanted. He hadn't even considered that option. Now that it was real, Bo started to really relax for the first time in a week. After a while, Luke noticed Bo's head sinking down on his chest. He smiled tenderly at his cousin. Together, they'd work this out. He didn't have a clue how at the moment, but he knew they'd find something. He reached out and gently shook Bo's shoulder. "Hey. Why don't you go on to bed? You're all wrung out. Get some rest." Bo's eyes blinked open. He had been nodding off. Rest � yeah that sounded wonderful. He hadn't been sleeping well lately. But at the moment he felt about as limp as a jellyfish. The release of all that tension had left him exhausted. He nodded and looked at Luke, a small frown crossing his face. This could be awkward, undressing in front of Luke after what had been said tonight. Luke had a feeling he knew what Bo was thinking. He smiled. "Go on, I'll be in in a bit." Grateful for the privacy, Bo stilled the swing and got up. "Thanks, Luke." Luke just nodded. He watched Bo disappear into the house. Truthfully, he wasn't anywhere near ready for sleep. His brain was still reeling with Bo's revelations, and his concern that he was in some way responsible. He thought back to their days of youthful exploration. It had seemed the most natural thing in the world at the time to share his discoveries with his younger cousin. And he had to admit he'd enjoyed it at the time. Quite thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, he was getting turned on now by the memory. // That's not gonna help Bo, you moron! // he quickly chided himself. His memories shifted down another path, to his one other experience with a man. It had been in Vietnam. He and his good friend Greg had gotten a bit drunk one night, and Greg had confessed his deepest secret. Uncle Jesse had raised him to 'live and let live,' not to judge other people's lives, so Luke did just that. And in return, he had confessed what he and Bo had done when they were kids. And somehow before the night was over, they had found a quiet, private place, and found a little bit of joy in the middle of the war. Luke had been confused the next day; he knew he liked girls, how could he be gay? That's when he and Greg had a long talk about what it meant to be gay, and how a 'straight' guy could sometimes look to any port in a storm, especially in wartime. Just a few days later, Greg got his discharge papers and went home, so Luke never had to face the choice of doing it again. Luke hadn't thought about Greg in years. But suddenly the memories of another hot summer night came back to him, and it was like it was yesterday. He felt himself getting hard as he remembered the feel of Greg's mouth on his dick. God, that had been intense. After all the tension of this night, he needed some kind of release. So he reached down and opened his fly, letting himself ride the memory of that night until he exploded into his own hand with a satisfied grunt. He sat there on the porch for a little longer afterward, wondering if he should tell Bo about this. Would he feel less alone, or would he think it meant Luke welcomed his un-brotherly thoughts? Luke shook his head � he was too tired now to think it through. With a sigh, he stood up and headed inside. He stopped in the bathroom to clean up, then slipped quietly into their bedroom. He was happy to hear Bo snoring softly in his bed, sleeping soundly for once. Minutes later, he was in his own bed, snoring in perfect counterpoint. Not that anybody heard them � Continue to Chapter 3 Send me some Feedback Back to the Other Fandoms Index Back to my Home Page Disclaimer: I don't own them, just borrowing them for fun, not profit! |
| Chapter 2 |