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Ok it is like 00:41 in the morning, i have school tomorrow but i dont think i can sleep at the moment so i thought i would come on here and put some stuff up on the site. I actually really want to cut at the moment but i feel like it's not worth it, im only going to regreat it ive havent harmed in ages! once i went a whole 2 months without harming, i was so chuffed! when you go back to it though you go back in a big way but i think ive carmed down now. I am unbelievably stressed and and really depressed but i think i can stick it out i have done before plus working on this helps alot. Its kinda my alternative to self harm, figured i can be constructive as well as destructive. I can do it i just have to control myself...irony one of the reasons i think i started was a way of having control over myself....guess that back fired! right i think if i just think about other stuff....mmmm....i imagen this is similar to how a smoker feels, thats a biit funny i kinda am a smoker lol i dont class my self as a smoker, not a proper hardcore one anyway...i do it when i get depressed it another way of self harm for me, just a more socially accepted. fuck im talkin about it again sheep are cool never work when you count them thought do they?? ive counted loads before trying to get to sleep, i had a bit of insomnia over last summer...i tried sleeping pill but they dint work either, made me feel hight to be honest although i did start taking loads at a time, i wasnt tryin to OD i just wondered how many i could take! lol god it sounded rational in my head! ummmm god this is boering entry bet it has the really bad spelling to i'm writting it kinda fast, i think i'll stop now your probably getting bored of reading it lol, i'm gonna do something else on here. Think pink! lau xxx |
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