Most people don't hurt themselves out of curiosity to feel what it's like. They do it because they are in emotional pain and it is the only way they feel they can cope. This may be difficult for you to understand, but it is important for you to recognize the extreme amount of emotional pain that self-injurers are in.
One reason that some people SI is that they want to change internal pain to something external that they can treat. Wounds can be symbols for pain and suffering. It's important to acknowledge the messages sent by scars and wounds. How much you understand your friend or relative's pain and how much you empathize appropriately will make communication with them better. Don't be afraid to talk about the subject of emotional pain. This way the self-injurer can talk about their internal suffering, rather than express it through hurting themselves.
Sometimes the behavior of other affects us so profoundly that we have to get help to deal with our own reactions. Getting help, possibly through therapy, could help you deal with your often disturbing or overwhelming responses to a loved one's SI. You might find getting help for someone's else's problem strange but remember this: "The behaviors of others can have a profound effect on you. This effect is further strengthened by the mysteriousness, secrecy, and misconceptions about self-inflicted violence." Therefore, getting help through therapy can help educate you on SI as well as helping you understand and change your reactions. Since learning of a friends or family member's SI is often very emotionally disturbing you can get help for this.
Asking for help may be a very hard thing for you to do. Remember that the self-injurer had the same problem. So, do what they did. Ask for help if you need or want it. Look for a trained professional, ask friends for support, talk with a religious counselor if you wish.
No, although these behaviors can be harmful to the body they do not have the purpose SI has.
Behaviors that alterate the appearance of the body are generally used to make the person look better. While in SI this is rarely, if ever, the case. Also, SI and body alteration are done by different methods. While SI is done by yourself, body alteration is typically done by another- someone usually licensed and/or trained to do so. Another difference is between the initial reasons for SI and body alteration. SI is often done because of feelings of loneliness and alienation, while body alteration is done because of discontentment with your body.
Ritual mutilation is the alteration of your body for society, religion, or a peer group. Several examples include genital mutilation, some types of tatooing, scarring of the face and body, and branding. Most people don't undergo ritual mutilation by choice and they often perform the act in front of other people. Also, the scars, tattoos, brands, etc. that are the result of ritual mutilation are usually exhibited in in public. Wounds and scars from SI are usually hidden.
Last Modified April 4th 2004