Part Three
Part Two
It was near ten thirty when Camilla finally awakened. She had stubbornly endured those tiny kicks that were growing stronger by the day before finally deciding that it was time to wake up. She had an enormous craving for coleslaw and oranges and headed downstairs to see Mrs. Connick. Hopefully, Snitch would be awake by now.
She arrived in the kitchen to find Mrs. Connick chopping up mushrooms and instantly, Camilla�s cravings changed. Now she had a craving for mushrooms and grapes. Mrs. Connick took notice of her and grinned.
�Good morning, deary.� She said. �What would you like to have for breakfast?�
�I�d really like some mushrooms.�
�I�ll chop some up for you. Anything else?�
�Red grapes?�
�Emerson just brought some in this morning.�
�Oh good. I�m starving.�
�In that case, you should have some porridge as well. It�s getting cooler out now. You�re going to need to keep up with your appetite for your baby.�
Camilla�s head lowered. �Porridge sounds fine.�
�All right. Give me two minutes, and your breakfast will be ready.�
�Where�s Dean?� she asked when Mrs. Connick served her breakfast.
�I�m not too sure.�
�Is he here?�
�No. He left to see a friend.�
Camilla could feel anger begin to take place. �Why did he leave me?�
�He�ll be back. He said he wouldn�t be gone for too long. There, there, don�t fret. Eat your breakfast. He�ll be home soon.�
She forced her breakfast down, flinching at every kick she felt. Another four months and one week left to go. How could she endure this when she didn�t even want to do this? Her anger at Snitch grew. How could he leave her like this? She was the one having the baby, she was the one who needed the attention.
After finishing her breakfast, she went upstairs and changed into a dress that masked the growing bulge of her stomach. She looked in the mirror and wanted to scream. The baby was destroying her body. She would be shocked if any man dared to look her way after the baby was born.
Where was Dean? Why did he leave? She wanted to pound him when he returned from wherever he was. Ever since he had come to stay with her, he had been a lazy slob who never did anything for her. He hadn�t come to help her. He had only come to not do anything and be paid by her father.
Laying down on her bed, she rested on her side while she waited. For the past few months, her life was reduced to lying on her bed and waiting for change. The man responsible for her pregnancy had ruined her life.
Since that day when he had forced her to do everything he wanted her to at the point of an unloaded gun, she had felt unsafe everywhere. Even at home, she didn�t feel safe. She was at her own home when that man appeared. That scene played over constantly in her mind, bringing with it the pain of humiliation and the feelings of the unwanted touches that violated her.
It wasn�t long before she began to shudder. It began slow, but soon, her entire body racked with uncontrollable quivering. To add to that, the baby began kicking again. She slapped the place where the baby kicked.
�Leave me alone!� she cried, tears rolling down her face. �Stop reminding me of the mess I�m in! It�s all your fault!�
The front door opened and closed. Knowing that it had to be Snitch, she forced herself from her bed and staggered downstairs. She found him on the couch, reading a newspaper he had undoubtedly bought from one of his friends. He peered over the papers to see her scowling at him.
�Okay, what�d I do this time?� he wondered.
�How could you leave so early without letting me know?�
�I din�t wanna wake ya up!�
�Where did you go?�
�If ya gotta know, I went �n� saw Kay. I asked �er about what you pregnant ladies go through.�
Her face went white with rage. �How�dare you? You have no right!�
�I was desperate! I ain�t never been �round ladies who�re gonna have babies �cept for Kay. I wanted t� get a little taste of what you was goin� through so I�d understand better.�
He was hoping his honesty would calm her, but his attempt failed. In fact, she seemed even angrier than before.
�You want a taste of what I�m going through? You want to know so bad? Fine! Imagine someone you don�t know using your for whatever he wants against your will! And then imagine the end result being this!� she pointed to her stomach. �You could never know what it�s like for me. Never!�
�That�s right, I�ll never know. But I wanted t� know more so I�d be a better friend t� ya.�
�Friend?� she almost fell over in hysterics. �What have you done to be a good friend? All you�ve done is loaf around the house and do absolutely nothing! And then my papa pays you for all that!�
�I have too done stuff for ya!� he threw the paper aside and leapt to his feet. �Who takes ya for walks every other day? Who sometimes takes your meals upstairs when ya ain�t feelin� up t� comin� downstairs? Who helps ya back upstairs when ya feel like ya can�t? An� who gave up �is life, �is friends, an� �is career t� care for some ungrateful, selfish little brat?�
Her face went from white to red. �I wish you never would have come here!�
�Your attitude�s makin� me think like-wise!�
�Then why don�t you just leave?�
�Cuz friends don�t leave! Ya need help, an� I wanna help!�
�You can�t help me with anything!�
�I can look like I�m married t� ya so ya aren�t ashamed of that kid ya carry!�
�I don�t even want to carry a child! I hate it, you hear? It�s an abomination to civilization and a violation of everything I had worked so hard to achieve! It�s ruining me! I want nothing to do with it! I wish it was dead!�
�Ya talk like it�s her fault.�
�Whose fault?�
�Her fault.�
�Whose?�
�The baby�s! It�s not her fault!�
Camilla�s entire facial expression changed. �Her?�
�Yeah, her.�
�W-why not�his?�
�Cuz your baby�s gonna be a girl.�
Her hand went to the place where the baby was now kicking excitedly. �How�how could you know? You�re not pregnant, and you�re not the father.�
�I don�t gotta be either t� know.�
�Then how do you?�
�I just do! I don�t know how, but I do.�
She felt faint. Her knees knocked, and she was ready to drop to the floor. Snitch was there to catch her and helped her to the couch so she could sit down. And once she was seated, she began to cry.
The baby was kicking rapidly, increasing Camilla�s heartbeat. The baby seemed to be confirming Snitch�s statement. Her baby was going to be a girl. A little girl. It would probably be born looking just like her. She would grow up and look so much like her mother that her father would�
She shook her head. Oh, why did her baby have to be a girl? Had it been a boy, it would be easier for her to despise and not want this child, for it was a man who had done this to her, and all men were capable of doing such a thing to other women. It would be easier to be rid of him because it was an evil man who was responsible for the birth of a son.
Now that she knew it would be a girl, she knew it would be harder to dismiss her so easily. A girl could suffer in every way her mother did. Bonds were always created between women and their babies, but she could already feel one beginning with her daughter. She began to pity her daughter.
�Oh Dean.� She sobbed. �I can�t handle this.�
Snitch wrapped his arms around her. �Yes, you can. You�re strong, an� you�re stubborn. Ya got th� heart for it.�
�But�I can�t have a girl. I can�t!�
�Why not?�
�Because�when I was a girl, I wanted my first child to be a girl. And now, I�m having one now. But she�s from a man I loathe from the deepest parts of my heart and I don�t even know. Does he even care that he did this to me?�
�I still don�t get it all th� way.�
�I�m saying that I wish I was having a boy. If I had a boy, I could get rid of him easier.�
�But ya got a girl comin�.�
�I wish it wasn�t true.� She buried her face in his shoulder and wept.
Snitch continued to hold her, offering whatever comfort he could offer. She was so confused and so frightened. Had circumstances been different and he was the father of her child, he was sure he could be of more help to her. But no, instead, he was the replacement of the selfish, immoral man who had taken advantage of an innocent girl.
Camilla continued to cry until she felt more stirring from inside of her and dried her tears. If only this baby would be more peaceful. Since she started kicking the day of Seven and Bumlets�s wedding, she had hardly left Camilla alone. Already she knew that this baby was going to fight her way into this world.
�I�I�d like to be alone now.� She stammered, swallowing back more tears.
�Where ya wanna go?�
�Upstairs, to my room.�
She rose to her feet and staggered to keep her balance. Snitch steadied her and helped her up the stairs to her bedroom. She said nothing to him and closed the door behind her, leaving Snitch by himself. He stood outside only to hear her muffled sobbing and shook his head. How could he help her if she wouldn�t let him help?
* * *
�Camilla does not wish to come downstairs for dinner.� Emerson reported.
�She�s been in �er room most �f th� day.� Snitch brought up. �She only came downstairs for breakfast �n� talked t� me.�
�Has she eaten anything since then?� Harry asked, concern filling his voice.
�Jenny brought her some lunch earlier.� Emerson informed.
�Very well.� He glanced at Snitch. �I�ll do the honors.�
Snitch nodded, folded his hands and closed his eyes.
�Heavenly Father,� Harry prayed, �bless the food we are about to eat, and may we be ever thankful for the blessings we receive. Amen.�
�Amen.� Snitch murmured.
Since moving into the Henderson household, Snitch had noticed how much he had changed since becoming a newsie. For example, there was Harry�s openly praying before every meal. Since the newsies all had different aspects concerning their beliefs or religions, prayer was not usually involved before meals. Those who did stick to their beliefs usually said their prayers in silence rather than make it a public spectacle.
Manners had been another thing Snitch had almost completely forgotten. Though neither Harry nor Camilla had said anything about his table manners, Snitch had noticed their facial expressions whenever his elbows rested on the table, used his fingers to eat, wiping his hands on his clothing, and other impolite gestures that were not appropriate at the dinner table.
Most recently, Snitch had been carefully observing Harry to imitate his table manners. Now that Camilla was absent, it would be easier to do so without her noticing his attempts. He would also feel much more secure with her not sneaking peeks at him every now and then.
Dinner was somewhat long and definitely silent, though that was common with the dinners. But because Snitch was used to eating smaller meals, he ate rather quickly to finish soon. Tonight, he was eating slower than usual. Even Harry was eating slowly.
�You said Camilla was talking to you earlier today before she locked herself in her room.� Harry finally spoke up.
�Yeah, I did.� Snitch muttered with his mouth full.
�What did you talk about?�
�She got mad at me cuz I left t� talk t� some friends before she woke up. We got int� an argument.�
�Is that why she�s in her room?�
�No. She�s jus��really emotional right now.� He had a feeling he shouldn�t mention to Harry that the sex of the baby being the real cause of Camilla�s trauma. �She�s real scared. T�day I realized that I�m th� guy who�s gotta go through all her troubles, an� that scared me too. We�re both real scared, an� she ain�t feelin� too secure. I�m goin� along on my gut right now.�
Harry sighed. �I�m very thankful you�re here. Camilla�s been so paranoid since the incident that she closed me out of her life. And recently, she�s opened up to me. She says you�ve been a great help to her.�
�I�m glad t� help.� He poked at his creamed corn with his fork. �Ya know that Camilla means a lot t� me. I know she�s got you here always, but I knew she was gonna need more than just one person t� help �er through. I�m gonna be �ere every step of th� way.�
�And you�re doing so well. I don�t know where we�d be if you hadn�t come to help like you did.�
�I�m jus� doin� what I believe I gotta do. An� I hope everythin� turns out for th� best.�
Dinner continued on without another word spoken. Once Snitch was finished, he retreated to the guestroom where he currently lived in. His room was small and spare, only complete with a small bed, a neatly varnished bird�s-eye maple dresser with a matching mirror hanging overhead, and the brass washstand and china basin in the corner. Snitch had very few possessions to fill such a room.
Living away from the newsies had been difficult. Up until Pie Eater�s marriage had been announced, Snitch had had to share a bunk with Itey. Growing accustomed to sleeping alone took weeks to adjust to. Now having an entire private bedroom at his disposal, it could take him months to adapt.
The nights back at the lodging house were always noisy. Sometimes newsies would stay up later than usual to swap stories of selling or just stupid little ditties they had picked up. Most of the sounds heard at night were whispers, giggles, snores, unconscious mumbles, or someone tossing over in their bed because they were so uncomfortable. Those mattresses were stiff and sometimes sharp if springs broke through the surface.
When the lights went out at the Henderson house, everything was silent. Silence was rare at the lodging house, so Snitch found it difficult to fall asleep without some form of noise lulling him to sleep. The bed was also one of the most comfortable things Snitch had ever rested on. It took him some time to grow accustomed to such lavish housings.
Snitch lay back on the mattress and sighed heavily. For all that he was gaining from this, there was still Camilla to worry about. Since that day at the beach three weeks ago, something had burst inside of him. It had been those feelings he had been withholding for her that finally came loose. He was reminded then that he was and always had been in love with Camilla.
Learning of her pregnancy had been like a bullet to the gut for him. The thought of any man taking advantage of such a sweet girl with the result of pregnancy had filled him with rage and a blood lust for finding the man responsible. Then when Snitch learned of Camilla�s feelings toward the baby, he knew his longing for revenge had to dissolve. Camilla and her child needed him.
It was obvious that Harry saw Camilla�s baby as an atrocity and that Camilla had felt the same way. But Snitch saw her baby as something else. She was the innocent result of cruel selfishness and lust. The baby herself was a victim, not just Camilla. Camilla couldn�t cast the blame on her daughter. Was she aware of this now?
After the baby was born, Harry would want the baby put up for adoption. Snitch was sure of that. However, he saw the logic in doing so and had so say against it at this time. A child conceived under these circumstances would be best under another person�s care. If Camilla accepted her baby as a victim as well, she could give her baby up. Snitch hoped she could accept that before the baby was born.
He was lost in his thoughts of this entire situation when he heard Camilla�s soft crying from upstairs. Had she been crying since this morning? Snitch knew she was broken and hurt over what was happening in her life, but did she need so much time to weep over this? Snitch thought that maybe it was time for him to speak with Camilla. She needed to have clear head of her crisis.
Tucking away his emotions into the back of his head, Snitch left his room and trudged upstairs toward Camilla�s room. He could still hear her sobbing from outside her door. How many tears could one girl cry for how long a time? Women were so complex. Snitch knocked his knuckles against the door.
�Camilla? It�s me. Can I come in?�
Her sobbing began to soften, but not enough for Snitch. He knocked again.
�Camilla, are you gonna talk t� me or not?�
There was still no reply. Shrugging, Snitch glanced over his right shoulder and then his left. Harry was nowhere to be seen, and neither were any of the household servants. Snitch knew that what he was about to do was improper, but he did not care at the moment.
