Paul sat upon his mount, surveying the landscape. His palomino steed pawed the ground restlessly, wanting to be in battle - or whatever war horses want to do when they paw the ground.
Seeing nothing of threat, Paul the warrior princess turned his horse back towards camp. Suddenly a thousand bad guys jumped from behind a bush and surrounded Paul. Paul gazed down at them contemptuously. Didn't they know it was useless to be a bad guy when he was around?
Emitting a blood-curdling war cry, Paul leapt from his mount and did a quadruple backflip-summersault, and killed nearly a quarter of the bad guys in one go. Turning around swiftly, he killed another dozen with a single glare. Suddenly, the clunky watch (you know, the big silver one he always wears on GNW) came loose, forcing Paul to stop and try to do it up again.
Instantly a bunch of bad guys leapt at the opening, grabbing hold of him and twisting his arms behind his back cruelly. Paul could only watch in fear as he was approached by an evil looking thug with a very sharp sword and a downright dirty smirk on his face. Paul closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable.
Suddenly his arms were free! Paul opened his eyes in time to see GabriellaTim give her own war cry and dash head on into the throng of bad guys, waving her sword around in the air threateningly. Wasting no time, Paul jumped to his feet and joined her in battle. Soon all the bad guys were dead or dying. Paul turned to GabriellaTim.
"Thank you GabriellaTim," he said, his voice low and husky. "You saved my life." GabriellaTim blushed.
"You know I'd do anything for you Paul," she murmured, embarrassed.
"Anything?" Paul repeated, his eyebrow raised. GabriellaTim blushed even redder, but nodded, meeting his gaze squarely. Paul inched closer to her, agonizingly slowly. Just as their lips were about to touch, Paul pulled away.
"I'm sorry - but I don't think my character would do that," he cried, shaking his head.
"Cut!" Ted cried, climbing out of his director's chair and heading over to where Paul and Tim were standing.
Tim gave an exasperated sigh. "For Christ's sake Paul! We've done this scene 4 times already! Is it that hard to kiss me?"
Paul blushed and shifted his Xena costume uncomfortably. In fact it was the exact opposite - he was afraid that Tim would realise the depths of his feelings if he did.
"Fine," he muttered, shoving aside his doubts and fears. "Let's do this."
"Are you ready your majesties?" Ted asked them both sarcastically. "I would like to get home sometime this year."
Paul fought to hold in the retort that was right on his lips.
"Alright people," Ted called, not noticing Paul's angry glare. "Let's take it from the top!"
"And�action!"
"Thank you GabriellaTim," Paul said, his voice low and husky as he took a step towards Tim. "You saved my life."
Tim blushed - he couldn't help it. Every time Paul spoke in that sexy voice�he was just lucky he was meant to be embarrassed in the script too.
"You know I'd do anything for you Paul," he murmured.
"Anything?" Paul asked, eyebrow raised. Tim's knees went weak. He was glad he didn't have to reply to that. He nodded dumbly, looking straight into Paul's eyes.
Paul's breath was shallow and fast. He wasn't going to back out this time. He would show Timmy what he meant to him.
Tim's heart was going a million miles a second. He was sure the entire crew could hear it - but watching Paul's face inch closer, he forgot about them. Oh Christ! He thought. He's really going to do it this time! He'll know! Tim was incredibly close to panicking. But before he could do anything that would stuff up the shot and give him time to breathe, Paul's lips were on his own. Tim closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the sensation.
Paul couldn't believe this was happening! He poured all his heartfelt passion into the kiss, amazed when Tim responded with equal passion.
"And cut!" Ted's loud cry broke them apart. The two stared at each other with a mixture of guilt and amazement. The crew cheered. Paul and Tim tried to convince themselves it was because they had finished the scene�but they weren't totally certain.
"That's a rap people," Ted hollered. The crew dispersed quickly, leaving Tim and Paul staring at each other.
"Uh�" Paul said.
"Um�er, uh�" Tim stammered. "Ah fuck it."
In two big strides he was by Paul's side again, his mouth crushing his. Paul responded with equal passion, and they finally realised that their feelings for each other were mutual. With a happy laugh, they linked arms and headed off to Paul's dressingroom.
"Finally," Ted whispered to himself from where he watched in the shadows, a smug grin on his face. "Whoever thought that a remake of Xena could be so useful?"