The darkness wraps around me like a blanket, thick and silent. Nothing stirs, and yet I cannot sleep. All I can think of is you.
The way the sunlight reflects on your hair, the warmth of your smile, the touch of your embrace. I close my eyes and I can almost convince myself that you still lie beside me, that you still love me as I love you. Questions swirl around my mind, plaguing my every waking minute, haunting my sleep. Do you lie awake as I do? Can you hear my soul cry out for you in the dead of night? Do you yearn for what was, and what could never be again?
I sigh and roll over on my side. I try to picture you now, but all I can remember is when you were mine. The fun that we had. A tear slowly trickles down my face. What went wrong? When did you stop loving me? Depression washes over me. Did you ever really love me at all? I guess I'll never know. I can only lie awake and try to imagine your answers to these questions.
Maybe I'm dwelling in the past too much. Maybe I can't let go of something that will never be, but I can't help but remember how good things were. How can I live each day with joy in my heart, when I can always compare it to the joy I had back then?
I know I am wasting my life, by ignoring the present and dwelling forever in the past, and yet I cannot help myself. All I can see is your face, smiling at me, just as how I remember. All I can feel are your arms, pulling me close and protecting me from the cold, cruel world. All I can hear is your voice, whispering in my ear, reassuring me that you will return, that our days together are not yet over. All I need is you.
I roll over and stare out the barred window the mental institute, gazing up at the night sky. I can feel your ghostly presence watching me from across the room, although my mind screams that it can't be true - that you're dead. But my heart doesn't care, and I let you whisk me away again into the land of bliss.