Chapter Nine- Secrets, Secrets, Secrets
"Who's that?" Matt asked playing it cool.
"You." She started blushing.
"YOU wanna dance with ME?" he asked.
"Are you asking me to dance Matt?" she asked slyly.
"HEY! You tricked me!" He smiled at her and said, "Yeah. I guess I am."
"Want to?" he asked.
"Right here or....?"
"WHERE do you wanna dance?"
"I dunno. Under the stars."
"Awww. You're so romantic."
"Yeah. You should try it sometime." she smirked.
"Give me a chance to be and I can definitely be romantic." he assured her.
"You're a punk though. Are you sure you can be romantic?"
"You were mean to me and I thought you could be sweet. I had no doubts in you."
"Except for the fact that you thought I couldn't take care of myself."
"You admitted to that though."
"I did admit to that. I just.......I dunno."
"You want a guy to take care of you, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do, but I mean, I don't want the guy thinking I'm completely helpless and that I'm depending on him to do everything for me. I don't want to be treated like a queen."
"How about a princess?"
"That could work, but still.....I don't wanna be spoiled."
"If a guy spoils you cutie, I'm sure he has a good reason."
"Or he could just think that's what I want.......for him to spend a fortune on me and to wait on me hand and foot....which is NOT the case at all. I want it to be equal....for him to be there for me just like I'd be there for him....for him to want to spend time with me. I mean, I like a guy that has his own thing going for him....if he plays hockey or lacrosse or something I'm not going to keep him from playing. I wouldn't make him quit something he loves just so he can be with me twenty-four seven..." her voice trailed off then she said, "Sorry. I keep going on and on and on about nothing."
"It's OK. I love hearing your voice....and to be honest, the more you talk, the more I get to know about you."
"So if I tell you all my secrets now there won't be any mystery or anything. You'll know everything about me already. Then you'll probably want me to leave when my time is up."
"Nah. I don't think so. And when OUR time is up, which I'm sure it won't be. We'll see each other again."
"Remember how you said that I could come visit you if I wanted to?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, if things go well and you really like spending time with me and everything....then maybe you could come stay with me here in New York," he said, "My parents will love you and I'm sure David will too."
"We're already talking about meeting your parents?"
"Yeah. I'm sure they'll see what I see."
"I don't think I wanna know."
"Lorr, I have to be honest about something."
"And what do you have to be honest about? Did you not break up with that girl or something?"
"I broke up with her. I'm being honest about that. It's just.....Alexia talked to me about how she wanted me to be her first. She tried to seduce me a number of times, but we'd only end up making out. We didn't go any further because I didn't feel comfortable. I just....I didn't love her..."
"OK." Lori looked away and got a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt as if he was trying to torture her by telling her stories about him and his ex-girlfriend. She couldn't believe that he was doing this to her. She got a little irritated, but tried really hard NOT to show it. She thought for a minute then asked, "So, she cheated on you with some guy Travis just so she could get laid pretty much?"
"I guess. So much for me being her first, huh?"
"I bet that hurt your ego, but in all honesty and fairness, you deserve better and you did the right thing by waiting. I mean, what would have happened if you went through with it? She could have gotten pregnant and you'd have the responsibility of caring for a whole 'nother life at like 15 or 16 years old..and you'd have to quit the band and I'm sure you don't want to do that just yet..see, this is the reason why I'm waiting. I just...I don't wanna get pregnant yet. I know I won't be able to handle the responsibility. Besides, I want to live it up. If I get pregnant now, I mean, I'll be a mom for the rest of my life. There goes college, there goes school..and if I got pregnant by some guy who just left me then I'd be raising the baby all by myself..I'd end up on welfare and live in some broken down apartment building if I'm lucky enough. I just....if you get pregnant when you're a teen your life goes downhill from there...."
Matt stared at her as she talked and listened to what she had to say. It was as if he recorded her speech in his mind. It kept playing over and over again as they walked around Times Square.
"Plus, if the guy leaves you you'll have to figure out a way to get child support from him....while your friends are out partying and drinking and having a good time you'd be stuck at home taking care of the baby. Your social life just goes out the window....it just...you get pregnant..you might as well just forget about having a life."
"I wanna go to college. I want to party and drink and have a good time. I wanna hang out with friends...and I want to marry somebody who I know won't leave me and who will love me for the rest of my life and who will love our kids and everything....I don't want a deadbeat for a husband or for a father."
She paused for a minute and he said, "You won't have a deadbeat for a husband and you'll marry somebody that will be a good dad and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated....like a princess. Believe me...you'll find somebody like that." Before he knew it he blurted out, "I wanna go out with you."
"WHAT?"
"I wanna go out with you."
"Are you sure about that? I mean, sure I look fine at night, but in the daytime, I'm a total wreck."
"Yeah. I'm sure about that and I'm sure you're pretty no matter what."
She looked at him adoringly and kissed his cheek. "You're so sweet."
As she backed away he stared at her then closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss her, but she backed away and he almost fell face first. She caught him in her arms and said, "Don't rush things Matt. If it's meant to happen it will."
He slipped his arms around her waist and she helped him stand up. A couple people nearby glanced at the two to see what would happen next but then they soon went about their business. He rested his head on her shoulder and held her so close and tight; he knew that if she tried to get away she wouldn't be able to. He lifted his head and kissed her neck then went back to resting his head on her shoulder.
Lori smiled and said, "That was cute Matt. You almost got that one by me."
He glanced up at her and said, "I really do."
Looking down at him she asked, "You really do what?"
"I really do wanna go out with you. I know we just met and everything but I can't help the way I feel." Then, staring into her eyes, he said, "It's up to you though....if you want to get involved with a guy like me."
"One step at a time Matt."
"I just wanna be with you."
She played with his hair for a couple minutes then said, "I need time."
"I'll be here...waiting." he said sincerely. He thought for a couple minutes then said, "I wanna be with you more than anything. I just never met such an amazing girl before. We can talk about anything and I really like that. Alexia and I...we could never carry on a conversation like you and I have."
"Maybe it was a physical attraction."
"Yeah, it probably was...mentally...my relationship with Alexia wasn't that great, but I love hearing your opinion. At first the guys and I thought you were kind of shy but you proved me wrong."
"Do you really love hearing my opinion?"
"Yeah I do. What you said about teen pregnancy and everything was a real eye opener and you....changed my perspective on it."
"I did?"
"Yeah. You did. Everything was true about what you said then there's the possibility of getting an STD so..." he paused for a minute then said, "You have to find out if your lover has that and it just gets even more complicated. As gay as it might sound, seeing how I'm a guy and all, I'm gonna wait."
"It isn't gay. I'm just surprised my opinion would have an effect on you."
"Well, it did and I respect your opinion."
"You are such an amazing guy. Too bad Ally or whatever her name is couldn't see that. She's missing out on something incredibly amazing."
"Her loss, your gain." He smiled at her and took her hand in his.
Chapter 10