CHAPTER 20: More of Her Confessions
"What you thinking about sweetie?" Matt asked when Lori didn't say anything. He knew that she was about to say something.
"I'm just thinking." she told him.
"About what?" he asked.
"Just.....something." she said distantly.
"I think your boyfriend wants to know what you're talking about." Greg teased.
"Boyfriend?" She eyed him.
"Yeah. Boyfriend." Greg laughed.
"If she doesn't wanna tell me she doesn't have to." Matt put in.
"She should tell you. It might have something to do with you." Greg told him.
"It could, but if it doesn't I won't force her." he told Greg.
"She should be able to talk to you about anything if she loves you like she says she does." Greg said simply.
"OK. I see your point but still....I won't force her to tell me." Matt said.
"I used to make myself throw up." Lori spilled.
"You used to what?" Matt asked in complete shock. He looked over at Greg then at Lori. The expression on Greg's face was priceless.
"I used to stick my finger down my throat and make myself sick." Lori said in a serious tone of voice.
"Why would you do something like that?" the guys asked in unison.
"Because I wanted to be skinny. And I only tried it like 8 or 9 times." she said, acting like it was no big deal. "Maybe I've tried it more than that, but I definitely did it more than once."
"Once is too many times." Matt told her.
"Why would you do something like that Lorr?" Greg repeated.
"I felt huge so I did something about it." Lori said simply.
"You're not huge though." Matt said.
"When was the last time you did it?" Greg asked.
"My sophomore year." Lori answered knowing that she was getting the third degree from the guys.
"Did you try it your junior year?"
"I'm going downstairs. I need to get a good night sleep."
"You can't run from your problems." Matt told her.
"Matt...please. I have a dad. I REALLY DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE." she said putting stress on the last part.
"I'm sorry. It's just....I don't want you trying that EVER AGAIN." he said looking at her.
She looked back at him and said, "I haven't done it since like sophomore year. Relax."
"Do you ever think of trying it again?"
"Yeah, I do, but I don't."
"What keeps you from doing it?"
"I dunno. I just...it was a pain."
"Obviously blondie. You're sticking your finger down your throat."
"Come on Matt. Get off my case." She got up off his lap and walked out of the room and ran down the stairs to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
"Does she always run?" Greg asked looking at Matt.
"What do I have to do to get her to stay?"
"Ask her to marry you. Then she'll stay."
"I already told you that I'm not ready to settle down with her yet."
"YET?" Greg asked.
"I'm not ready to settle down with her, let alone anyone else, right now."
"You could always ask her to marry you and wait till she's out of high school or something....just wait till you're both ready."
"She needs to experience life on her own. She needs..to see what's out there for her."
"All I'm saying is that you should just be there for her."
"I'm here for her, but I'm starting to think that she doesn't know that I am."
"So show her."
"I'll be right back."
"OK dude. I'm gonna check out her website."
"Don't be nosy dude. She'll get pissed off."
"I'm not being nosy. It's a WEBSITE."
"Whatever dude. Do what you want."
"I will."
Matt rolled his eyes and left the room to go downstairs to Lori's room. When he opened the door he found her in bed writing, except there were no lights on except for the glow of the flashlight she was using for light.
He crept over to her and kissed her cheek and then sat down beside her. She jumped and flicked on the light switch to see Matt sitting beside her.
"You are so jumpy."
"And I really didn't mean to offend you. It's just...the Chris poser...finding out that you made yourself sick just to lose weight....I'm starting to worry about you." he added.
"I don't talk to the Chris poser anymore and I haven't made myself sick at all..you don't have to worry about me."
"And you just keep trying to push me away....or you're just scared of having somebody love you and care about you."
"I am scared, but I'm not trying to push you away."
"You sure?"
"You can believe what you want. If you don't trust me to tell you the truth.....then whatever."
"You know what I think you need...."
"Sure. What do you think I need?"
"You need a guy to take care of you."
"So you think I'm helpless?"
"No. I didn't say that. I just think you need a guy who knows how to treat you right."
"And what would you say if I told you that I think I already found him?"
"I'd tell you that I wanna know who he is."
"I'm lookin' at him." she said simply.
Chapter 21