DD answers the world's most pressing questions...kind of like Dear Abby on crack...
I need a hobby to pass the time in my boring, pointless and pathetic life. What would you recommend?
Collecting bunny slippers.
Photography.
Sex.
Posing naked for Brazilian gay porn mags.
Drinking.
:::Silence:::
If given the choice of kissing one of your bandmates or kissing a gorilla, which would you choose and why?
Depends on which bandmate it was...I'd pick the gorilla over Andy any day, but Nick on the other hand...
No comment.
Now is this any band member of my choice or do I get one imposed upon me? Because if I get to pick then I'd rather kiss Johnny, but kissing Warren wouldn't be much different than kissing a gorilla, so I would have to spare myself the weird repercussions and go for the gorilla.
A guy gorilla or a girl gorilla?
Depends on how man Heineken's I've had.
:::Stony silence:::
What is your most useful talent?
My ability to change moods faster than you would imagine humanly possible...Hey, you're trying to kill me! I'm on to you!
I can look fashionable under even the most strenuous cirumstances.
*Bleep*.
Tearing telephone books in half with my bare hands, you wouldn't imagine how many times someone has needed that done.
I don't really have any useful talents, but I have lots of useless ones!
:::Silence:::
Boxers or briefs?
Panties.
That's really none of your business.
None of the above, I prefer to go commando.
Ditto.
Speedos.
:::Blush:::
If you are elected Miss America, what will you do to make the world a better place?
Oh cool! I get to be Miss America?
Make copies of Interference available to everyyone, as well as donating makeup to homely people everywhere.
Donate my time as a lingerie photographer to Victoria's Secret.
How the hell should I know? I don't even want to be Miss America to begin with, try Nick, he's the pansy in this group!
Lower the legal drinking age the world over.
:::Looking confused:::
You have a big date coming up in less than an hour and you're fresh out of hair products (gasp!). What do you do?
Crisco! It's the obvious solution...
Lock yourself in the bathroom and refuse to come out, you should never go out in public without looking your absolute best!
Get naked. If you're in the buff, your date won't be looking at your nasty unstyled hair!
Shave your head.
Do like Johnny and slap a fedora on that mullet!.
:::Stares silently at the floor:::
If you could be any piece of clothing, what would you be?
A pair of crotchless panties.
A silk shirt.
A tennis shoe...I like being tied up.
A birthday suit.
A Heinekin t-shirt.
Leave me the &@!# alone! *Storms out of the room* (Editor's note: From this point on, John will be answering for Roger.
Is John a skank?
Yep.
Yes, but it's really an endearing quality.
I'm skankier than he is any day of the week!
I don't think so, he's more of a whore than a skank.
He's one of the skankiest people I know.
Yep, Johnny's a skank, but he's integral to the band. We couldn't do it without him...all hail Johnny! Heh, this is fun answering for Roger...
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*DD answers impersonated, obviously.*