| Kids are such a riot. Last night, we had dinner with a family of five from New Zealand. They have Chinese food there, but they were extremely fascinated by the chicken head that came with our roasted chicken. The dad started it, picking it up and showing his kids. That began a whole new realm to dinner. The little girl was holding it up, perched on a chopstick with a napkin wrapped around it (Super Chicken), and held it right up to M.�s mom�s face. Her face was turned away from the chicken, as she was talking to the person on her other side. After talking, she turned back toward the little girl and was startled to see the chicken face right in HER face! It totally freaked her out but she tried not to show it. When the 9-year-old boy got a hold of it, he just went nuts. He put it on top of his mom�s hair (and I have to give his mom props�she did not freak out at all!), sat it on Sarah�s shoulder, put his sister�s Barbie�s visor on it, and threw it around the table. The night ended with him tossing it from one tea cup to the other, allowing the chicken head to fly several feet up in the air. I must say, he was pretty good at it. When the fortune cookies came, the boy read his aloud and it said something about finding treasure. At the bottom of all the fortunes was the company�s name, �Peking Noodle Co.� The boy continued reading and misread it as �Peek in noodles.� So there happened to be a plate of noodles in front of him. He picked up the serving spoon and moved the noodles around for a few seconds before declaring, �There is no treasure in here!!� All this time, some of us were watching him, and he was oblivious to our laughter and our amusement. It was good for me, though. I laughed so hard during dinner that I even felt my eyes tearing up. Release is good. And yesterday, I needed it more than ever. After pretty much doing nothing all day at work and feeling like my position here is pretty much pointless, I went to see a prospective apartment that I really liked�only to find out from M. that the area wasn�t great. What I originally thought could be �The One,� turned out not to be. The apartment search continues. I just want things to be better mentally and emotionally. I want some space, too. I think the tears of laughter that came out were tears of anxiety and worry needing an excuse to be let out. I rarely �laugh so hard that I cried.� M. tells me not to try to be a super woman. �You�re not Wonder Woman,� he says. My response? �Yes I am!� And in front of others, I try my best to appear to be strong. I don�t want to make people feel uncomfortable when I show my weakness, and I also don�t like appearing to be weak. But my closest friends know the truth. They know how much I�ve cried since moving here. They know what I think about and wish would go away. They know my weaknesses. And in our weaknesses, we are made strong�but that is only when we follow the right formula. To give all our burdens to Him. I have said so many times that I�m trying to trust in God�s timing, that this is all just a good challenge and experience for me. But I�ve said it so much that I�ve become numb to it and don�t really believe it myself. If I truly believed and if I have truly let go, then these anxieties within me would not be causing the emotional bottleneck that I feel. So after a good night�s sleep, I�m still convinced that I�m Wonder Woman (actually, the American Maid is cooler), but I continue praying that I can REALLY lay my burdens down at God�s feet and not just say it. Even super heroes need God. BTW, happy Friday the 13th. |
| God fuels this super hero 06.13.03 |
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