meet stanford

If you can't win, don't despair. Just accept it and use it to your advantage.

So in this case of not being Enemy's "type," I'm going to make him my Stanford. For the "Sex and the City" fans out there, you will recognize Stanford as Carrie's gay friend. He's her right hand man, giving her advice and also being a fun person to hang around. He encourages and consoles her and is just the sweetest of friends...and there is no chance between them. Although there is more chance between me and Enemy than between Carrie and Stanford, I just have to pretend he is gay.

I've deducted that I am not his type and he probably isn't considering me anyway. He goes for the typical and I can't give him that. See the "typical Chinese girl"? That's not me. And well, I don't want to become that just for him. I think I'm into him for the challenge anyway. My curiosity is peaked by the uncertainty, the game, the mystery. Perhaps I've turned him into someone he's not and really, it all boils down to him being typical too.

I've developed this love/hate relationship with him, although he doesn't know it. I calculate my moves carefully and my interactions, but there have been instances when I falter and I see myself pushing a little too hard. Sometimes I really like his character and I want to know more. But then he just says one thing or does one thing and I'm turned off. I almost want to dislike him so that I won't like him.

But his personality nevertheless draws me back and I want to continue our friendship. But I've decided he is going to have to be gay. World, meet Stanford.