*In keeping with my tarot theme here, The Hanged Man represents one who is not in control of his fate and destiny. Things are simply beyond his control and he must deal with whatever comes his way.
2 Third Age.
"There you are," Gildor whispered in Galdor's ear.
The elf turned with a guilty expression on his face. While he'd left Glorfindel, he hadn't stopped thinking about him. In fact, he'd been so lost in lustful thoughts that he hadn't considered his lover at all. "How did your meeting with Lindir go?"
"Very well. He is recovering nicely, to everyone's delight. We thought he would fade."
"You and he…Was that the lover you spoke of?" Hope flared for a moment. If Lindir was the missing lover, then he might become free to pursue Glorfindel. He shook that unruly thought off. What was the matter with him tonight?
"No, he and I were never lovers. Nor do I love him in that manner. He was the one whom I said was dead. I was wrong." Gildor shrugged. "I am glad I was wrong. Did you and Glorfindel have a nice dance?"
Galdor felt color creep up his neck. "He is a forceful character."
"Indeed he is." Gildor narrowed his eyes. "Are you smitten with the warrior?"
"Gildor, do not be ridiculous." Galdor waved his hand dismissively.
"You should never lie to me, Galdor." Gildor suddenly became serious.
Galdor slanted a glance at Gildor and nodded slowly. "He is not like anyone I've ever met and I am intrigued with him. Maybe infatuated. I do not know. He makes my legs turn watery and my stomach flutter."
Gildor traced his fingers lightly over Galdor's face. "And you blush so prettily at the sound of his name. Why aren't you with him?"
"Being with him would not be right."
"Why ever not? Oh, do you mean that since you and I—ah. Now, I see. Galdor, if you want to be with Glorfindel, I will not stop you. I want you to be happy."
"You are not angry with me?" Galdor searched Gildor's face for some indication of his emotions. He saw sadness written on the features and, maybe even a trace of the old loneliness.
"I stand by my promise. If you wish to be with him, then go and do so. Do not let me stand in your way. I could never deny you the right to be happy in love." He kissed Galdor lightly on the temple. "Now go on."
~*~
Elrond stood in the center of his room and stared at the shambles he'd made in only a matter of minutes. Every garment he brought with him for the celebration was strewn around the chamber. Hair clips lay in disarray on the vanity. Try as he might, he could find nothing useful in his wardrobe. A thought came to him and he paused. He dismissed the thought and went again among the clothes he'd brought from Imladris. After a few minutes and with a deep sigh he gave up.
Exiting his room, he sought the wing where Celebrian and her parents were housed. After asking directions, he found himself standing before her door. Resolutely he knocked and waited, hoping she had not changed her mind and attended the feast anyway.
The door opened and he bowed. "I hope I am not disturbing you."
Surprise graced Celebrian's features. "Not at all. How may I serve you, my lord?"
He cleared his throat. "I need your help."
"Of course, do come in." She held the door wide for him and he entered, noticing the small tray of food on the table.
"I have interrupted your meal." He said rather lamely.
"A light repast. Now, you said you needed my help."
"This will sound rather strange, and I am a bit embarrassed by it." Elrond offered his most charming smile.
~*~
Galdor walked through the crowds seating themselves around the white linen,
looking as nonchalant as possible as his dark eyes scanned for the blond warrior.
When he finally spied Glorfindel, he was dismayed to see that the warrior
was surrounded by both males and females who were as apparently captivated
as himself. He was about to turn and leave when the warrior spied him and
called out. Galdor turned his feet back towards Glorfindel.
"Where is Master Gildor?"
"I am not certain. He should be here soon, I would imagine." Galdor stared down into the deep blue eyes and felt his stomach knot. Just looking at Glorfindel made him ache with a need he did not understand.
"He shouldn't leave you alone," purred Glorfindel seductively.
Galdor's face colored right up to the roots of his dark hair and his shifted his feet. How to tell Glorfindel that Gildor had seen them dancing and he wanted Galdor to seek the warrior's company? "He and I …talked."
Glorfindel quirked an eyebrow, a habit he'd developed from years of Elrond's company, and reached out his strong hand to Galdor. "Come sit and tell me of your discourse."
Gratefully, Galdor sank to his knees beside Glorfindel. "He saw us dancing and well…"
"Was he angry?"
"No," Galdor said hastily. "Nothing of the sort. He was amused and maybe relieved." He admitted reluctantly. He always knew Gildor would go away and maybe this was his way of doing so. The thought made Galdor a little sad.
"Why would he? Ah, you said you had an arrangement and that his heart belonged to another. So has he given you permission to seek another lover?" Glorfindel leaned close and whispered into Galdor's ear.
Galdor shivered as the warm breath fanned the sensitive tip of his ear. "Aye, he has."
"And do you want to?"
"Want to?" Squeaked Galdor.
"Find another lover." Glorfindel grinned wolfishly.
"Aye."
~*~
Lindir stepped on to the lawn and breathed the fragrant air. Pine warred with roast duck and tangy apples. He smiled at the sight of all the elves gathered to toast the birth of Thranduil's son. Only a short span of time had passed since the battle with Sauron; so much had occurred and so many changes had taken place. He was relieved to see that the world was again returning to normal and that elves and men, were learning to laugh and love and be happy again. He never thought the day would come.
Long white strips of cloth were laid end to end on the grass and bore dishes of meat and vegetables and sweets. Elves ringed themselves around the cloth, sitting on the ground with plates in their laps. Pitchers of wine were passed up and down the rows and elflings chased each other among the seated adults.
Lindir spotted Glorfindel seated next to a dark haired elf that he did not know, but who looked vaguely familiar. He and Erestor went over and sat beside them and Lindir discovered that the elf was Galdor of the Gray Havens. He immediately began to worry about Gildor and scanned the crowds looking for his friend. He did not see him and then he realized that he did not see Lord Elrond either.
"Erestor, I cannot see Lord Elrond."
"He is not here," interjected Glorfindel. "I saw him heading towards his rooms. Perhaps he has grown tired."
"I would have thought he would forsake his normal solitude for at least this event." Erestor leaned around Lindir and spoke directly to Glorfindel. "Did he seem alright?"
"Yes, actually, he did." Glorfindel thought for a moment. "He seemed to be excited about something."
"Perhaps he will come later. Galdor, are you not friends with Gildor?" Lindir asked.
"Aye, I am." Galdor gulped, recognizing the blond elf immediately. "You are his friend Lindir, is that not so?"
Lindir nodded. "Have you seen him?"
"Awhile ago he was here. I do not know where he is now." Galdor flinched away from the anger simmering in Lindir's eyes. "He said that I should enjoy the banquet with Glorfindel and then took himself off. Perhaps he is with Lord Elrond?"
"Doubtful," answered Erestor as he patted Lindir's shoulder. "Do not fret over Gildor, Lindir. He is safe enough here."
"That is not why I am angry. Were they not together earlier?" He jerked his head towards Galdor.
"I do not know. Maybe? Galdor said he was told to come to the banquet with Glorfindel. Perhaps Gildor did not wish to attend. Until you can speak with him, you should not be angry with Galdor. We do not know the circumstances."
Lindir relaxed somewhat, knowing that Erestor spoke the truth. Wherever Gildor was, Lindir hoped he was not alone and was having a good time.
*~*
Gildor was in fact alone, but he wouldn't have said he was not having fun. In fact he was having quite a nice time, though no one would have probably believed him. He was perched quietly in the split trunk of an aging oak tree. From where he sat, he could see the banquet and dancers and even the servers as the moved from the kitchens to the white clothes. He watched Glorfindel and Galdor seat themselves next to one another and smiled. He saw Lindir enter on Erestor's arm and his heart gave a little lurch. There was no going back, now. He had committed himself to his loneliness. Even though he did not love Lindir, there had remained in the back of his mind the idea that the elf provided a sort of safety net. As he watched how Erestor guided Lindir and Lindir's response, Gildor felt the door finally latch closed. He sighed softly. His decision was for the best. How could it be otherwise? His dark eyes scanned the tableau before him and he frowned. Where was Elrond? He spied Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, but not their daughter. He mentally put two and two together and leaned back against the trunk and tried to vanquish the image of Elrond in Celebrian's arms from his mind.
His leg slipped from the tree trunk as he hunched further down and he placed his head in his hands.
"Oh, that was a start."
Gildor jerked and looked down to see another elf staring up at him. "I beg pardon?"
"You almost bopped me on the head with your rather large boot." An elf stood leaning against the base of a tree.
Gildor grimaced with embarrassment. "My apologies. I did not realize any one was below me. Why are you not dining with the others?"
The elf below him shrugged. "I am not familiar with Mirkwood and my friends seem to be otherwise engaged. Though I cannot say that I mind, for I find watching the party fascinating. You can learn a lot from observing. And why is it you are perched in the tree like bird?"
"For the same reasons you are, I suppose." Gildor shifted. "Where do you come from?"
"I am a healer in Imladris."
"I do not recognize you. What is your name?"
The elf shifted uncomfortably. "Why would you recognize me?"
"I was with Lord Elrond during the War of the Last Alliance and I know all the elves in his service."
"I was not in the war. I am called Aikanaro Helyanwe. And you are?" There remained an edginess about him as he rocked from foot to foot.
"Gildor Inglorion of Lindon." He studied Aikanaro intently. The elf was tall and with broad shoulders that may or may not have been a result of padding in his tunic. His hair was the color of ink and that only heightened his pale complexion. "Are you related to Lord Erestor?"
Startled, the other asked. "Why?"
"You have the same unusual coloring. There is a paleness about you that reminds me of him."
Laughing, Aikanaro shook his head. "I doubt Lord Erestor would appreciate the comparison. So you fought with Alliance? What was it like?"
Gildor shook his head. "Terrible and I would rather not remember if you do not mind."
"I did not mean offense."
"I am not offended; I just don't wish to talk about it." Gildor thought for a moment and then held down the wine bottle he'd pilfered from the party. "Care for some wine?"
"Thank you," the elf took the bottle and drew a deep drink. The wine was cool and soothed his parched throat. He felt his shoulders begin to relax. He had been so sure of himself when he'd left his rooms, but once at the party, his confidence lagged and he had been rethinking his position when he'd stumbled across Gildor. This would remain quite a test, if he could win over the one time aide to the Great Lord Elrond. He passed the bottle back up.
"How long have you been with Lord Elrond?" Gildor accepted the bottle again and took another sip.
The elf below tensed and shifted. "A month. I am an apprentice, really."
"You must start somewhere. Lord Elrond's skills are eclipsed only by Lady Galadriel's."
"So I am told," responded the other dryly. "Why have I never seen you in Imladris?"
"I dismissed myself from Lord Elrond's service. Care for more?"
"I do not mind if I do, thank you." Aikanaro took another longer pull from the wine and felt his skin flush and tingle from the warmth. That was much better. "I cannot imagine anyone willingly leaving his service. You must have hated it."
"No." Gildor shifted, looking around for the subject of their discussion. He still did not see Lord Elrond and his heart sank a little more. He needed more wine, he thought as he watched Glorfindel tease Galdor. Definitely more wine. "I think I shall get more wine."
"Have I upset you?" Aikanaro stared hard at Gildor, noticing the far away look in his eyes.
"The wine bottle is empty." Gildor answered, avoiding the question altogether. He slithered from the tree and began to creep along the edges of the crowd.
Aikanaro pushed himself away from the tree with a deep frown and slowly followed Gildor. He couldn't quite make him out. One minute he was happy and the next he was sad. There seemed to be some mystery as to why he left Lord Elrond's household and Aikanaro was intent on finding out the true reason.
They reached the end of the banquet line where buckets of cold water kept the wine chilled. Gildor selected one at random, as he knew they were all the same and of excellent vintage. He unstopped the bottle and passed it to Aikanaro. "Share?"
Just as the elf healer was about to reach for the bottle a flurry of blond hair and blue robes came between he and Gildor and Aikanaro found himself in Erestor's startled embrace. He looked at Erestor with something akin to panic and Erestor's eyes flew wide in wonder and his mouth moved silently.
Gildor found himself being embraced by Lindir and he watched curiously over the other's shoulder as Erestor struggled for words and Aikanaro struggled to remove himself from the advisor's arms.
"Lord Erestor," Aikanaro straightened his clothes and clutched the wine bottle to his chest with shaking hands.
"umm.." answered Erestor.
"I am Aikanaro, one of the healer apprentices. You probably don't remember me, do you?"
"No…." Erestor blinked. "But there are so many new faces in Imladris these days."
"Yes," Aikanaro said with rather more force than appropriate. "There are."
"I was getting worried," Lindir said in Gildor's ear, distracting him from the scene of Erestor and the healer. "Galdor—is that your lover? He did not know where you were."
Gildor sidestepped the question of his love life. "I am here, now Lindir."
Soon, the quartet was surrounded by more elves each clapping Gildor or Lindir, and sometimes Erestor on the shoulder and back. Aikanaro found himself the center of far more attention that he felt comfortable with, but there seemed little he could do. Somehow, during the introductions and back slapping, the entire bottle of wine was drunk, though Aikanaro did not remember drinking it. Nor did he remember being spun into the circle of dancers. Yet, there he was, dancing with any and every elf that clutched his hands.
Gildor was left with the impression, after several dances with Aikanaro that he knew the elf from somewhere, but he could not place when or how he might have met the healer. The long hair was the color of ink and the pale skin did remind him of Erestor. Though in his heart, he knew that wasn't the source of his familiarity. As the wine flowed more and more freely and the dancing became more of a sexual prelude than movement to music, he dismissed his thoughts.
Aikanaro realized he was a success and smiled
to himself. He'd really had no intention of going as far as he had, but since
he was here, he figured he might as well take advantage. He felt alive in
ways that he hadn't felt in a while and he smiled broadly as he again found
himself in Gildor's embrace. After a time, things began to blur as the wine
took over his inhibitions and soon, he forgot every thing but the joy of dancing
in someone's arms again.
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