*In the traditional Tarot, the Swords represent strife.
2 Third Age.
Gildor entered the hall and watched the intricate
circling of the dancers in the center of the elongated room. He noticed Galdor
with Glorfindel and smiled broadly at the sight. They did look rather pretty
together as they spun about the floor. They were one of but a
few male pairings and no one seemed to notice. Over the last several months,
Gildor had noticed that his lover had lost some of his awkward shyness around
others and had seemed to find his own voice, not only in private matters,
but in public ones as well. He was moving up in Cirdan's ranks and had gained
the respect of other counselors. Gildor was increasingly proud of him. Taking
a tour of the room, Gildor found many friends to talk to and soon lost track
of Galdor and the warrior.
~*~
Blinking in dismay, Elrond did not know how to
respond to Celeborn's implied
suggestion. What did one say to an elf looking to marry off his beautiful
daughter? Certainly one could not say, thanks, but no, I do not like females
very much. "I am flattered that you would consider me a candidate. Do
you not think she would be happier with an elf closer in age?"
Celeborn's own dark brows rose. "I must ask you, Elrond, and be honest with me, for we have known one another for many years. Were the rumors of you and the high king true?"
Squaring his shoulders, Elrond met Celeborn's gaze. "They were."
Rubbing his chin, the other elf responded. "You will need heirs for Imladris. Even Gil-Galad recognized that one day he would have to take a wife. He spoke of it in council. There were several candidates put forward, Celebrian among them."
"I am aware of all this, Celeborn." Sighed Elrond. "Yet, I cannot bring myself to commit to all eternity at the moment. A wife, even one who is part of a political arrangement, requires time and attention. Would you sell your daughter so cheaply to one who could never really give his heart?"
"You need not fear on that account, I think." Celeborn said rather gravely. "She has lost her heart already and, I think, would be content to bear heirs and then sail when her duty ends. She would sail now, given the opportunity."
Elrond tilted his head. "She has said this?"
"To me? No. She would not discuss such a matter with her father. Galadriel is the one with whom she shares her secrets. But Galadriel has told me some, though I daresay not all, and we have discussed various possibilities. You are the perfect candidate. You would not expect her to love you or bond with you. You would provide well for her and never show her disrespect or dishonor her. Her children would be loved and provided for, as would she, until she chose to depart. The arrangement would suit you both, I believe, if you will but entertain the notion."
"To whom did she give her heart and what prevents them from being together now?"
"Amdir did not recover his injuries on the battlefield." Celeborn answered.
"Ah." Elrond inclined his head. "I did not know Amdir well, but his father and I were close. He never mentioned it."
"I am surprised. We assumed once the war ended that they would wed and she would come to Lorien as a queen, not a princess."
"A step down, still, if she marries me."
"No, not really. You are the heir and will always be seen as a future king, I think. She is agreeable to the match."
Elrond waved his hand. "Hold, Celeborn, for I have not the luxury of quick action. There is much to consider, and not only my kingdom. You are asking me to play a role I am not sure I am suited to."
"Take your time, speak with your council. You will see what I propose is practical as well as advantageous. Seek Celebrian, if you will. She is wise for one so young."
Elrond laughed at that. "Spoken like a proud parent. I will think about your proposal and I will discuss the possibilities with the council. And I may even speak to Celebrian to gain her thoughts."
"That is all I ask." Celeborn rose. "I think I will go back to the celebrations now. Are you coming?"
"I think I shall."
~*~
Galdor found himself in a small corridor staring up at Glorfindel. His face was flushed with excitement and something more and his leggings were so tight that he couldn't breath. Funny, thought Galdor, they weren't tight when he'd donned them that morning.
Glorfindel, too, had the same problem with his leggings and wondered how it was that this youth whom he barely knew had affected him so. He thought it quite ludicrous as his age to behave like an elfling at his first dance. Still, he couldn't help his body's reaction. He wanted to kiss Galdor, starting with his lush mouth and working his way down. Much further down. Glorfindel growled low in his throat.
"I think I should see where Gildor has taken himself off to," Galdor croaked.
"Yes, you should." Glorfindel raked his blond hair away from his face and stepped back. He had no idea how they'd come in to the corridor but he recognized the dangers of their situation. Even if, as Galdor said, he was free to choose, he was still attached to Gildor and Glorfindel would do well to remember that the younger elf was spoken for. He forced himself to step back and give Galdor a chance to move.
"I enjoyed dancing with you," Galdor said before he rushed back in to the hall.
~*~
Elrond entered the hall and looked around. There were so many faces he recognized, both from Lindon and the battlefield, and he was relieved. The familiarity soothed him. The laughter and noise lifted his spirits. He spied Gildor sitting alone in a corner and frowned. Whatever was the young one doing? He walked over to where Gildor sat watching the dancers. He noticed that the younger elf bore a large smile on his face and some amusement turned his eyes silver. "Gildor? Why do you sit alone?"
"Lord Elrond," Gildor quickly rose to his feet but resumed his seat when Elrond motioned him down. "I am watching the dancers."
Elrond turned and watched for a few moments. Then, to his surprise, he saw Galdor rush from a side corridor with his face flushed and his clothes slightly disheveled. Glorfindel followed a moment later and Elrond's eyebrows rose. He cast a sidelong glance at Gildor to see his reaction and for the second time, felt startled and confused. Rather than seemingly angry, Gildor seemed almost happy. "Is that not Galdor?"
"He and Glorfindel have been dancing. I think, perhaps, there is a strong attraction between them."
"You do not appear upset." Elrond peered more closely at Gildor.
"No, my lord, I am not. Why are you not dancing?"
"I've no one to dance with, besides, should I go out there, they would all stop and bow and forget to have fun in their quest to show respect to the contender."
"We should make you up in a disguise then, so that no one would know you and you could say, when they asked, that you were an exile."
Elrond laughed at that. "Who would not know?"
"I think we see what we want to see, sometimes," replied Gildor with a degree of seriousness.
"Even elves?"
"Oh, most certainly we are not immune. We may be immortal, but we have our share of folly."
Just then, Celebrian approached and Elrond focused his attention on her. "My lord? Do I intrude?"
"Nay, Lady Celebrian," Elrond rose and Gildor followed suit. "May I present Master Gildor?"
She bowed and her long blond hair trailed over her breasts and sleeves. "Well met, Master Gildor."
Gildor bowed and his heart sank a little. He'd heard that Celeborn and Galadriel were seeking a suitable match for their lovely daughter. Apparently, they considered Lord Elrond a possibility. Who could blame them? He wondered if Elrond would take the offered bait. "My lady. I think I shall go see to Galdor, Lord Elrond. Excuse me."
Elrond looked long and hard at Celebrian. She was a delightful vision with a glorious wealth of golden blond hair and blue eyes that swirled with humor. She looked much like Galadriel, though, without her commanding presence. "I spoke with your father," he said in his direct manner.
"I thought you might." She seated herself on the chair and looked at Elrond. "I do not mean to pry, my lord, but I have heard that you and Gil-Galad were lovers. If this is so, please know that you have my condolences and that, also, I understand that you may not wish a wife. However, Imladris will need heirs and I have a duty to my family."
"You are quite forthright, Lady Celebrian."
She laughed then. "Did you expect the daughter of Lady Galadriel to be otherwise?"
"No, and I find your manner refreshing. You have heard true, for Gil-Galad and I were more than king and subject. Does this not bother you?"
"No. My heart belongs to another and I would sail were it not for my family."
"So Celeborn indicated. You would sell your body for your family?"
She bristled at the implication. "Sell? I am not cattle or a human paramour. Should I wish it, I could sail immediately. But, duty sometimes outweighs desire. You should know that."
Elrond winced. He had ignored duty in favor of desire. "I do not mean offense, my lady. Rather, I am trying to understand your motive. What would such an alliance give you?"
"Children. Safety. Security. My needs are simple and no different than anyone else's."
"And if I asked for you, you would come willingly to Imladris?"
"Yes, I would. I know you are a kind elf and a conscientious one as well. You would treat me well and we would bind our kingdoms together and give them both strength and standing."
"I could never bond with you, my lady, though I would take you as a wife and honor you in all ways."
"That is all I would ask, for I would be lying if I said to you that I loved you. I do not."
"Amdir is gone."
"So is Gil-Galad," she countered. "Do I love less because I am female? Am I not allowed the same depths of emotion?"
"My apologies, lady, for that was not what I meant. Even I know that Gil-Galad would detest my eternal mourning. He would want me to seek love again. I only implied that Amdir would want the same for you, if he loved you truly. I know that I will love again, in time. Do you mean to sell yourself short?"
"No, Lord Elrond. I am not selling myself short. But, rather, being honest. You and Gil-Galad were not bound, nor were Amdir and I. Yet, if you could have, would you have bound with him?"
"Aye, but that was not permissible."
"And had we time, Amdir and I would have done the same. Thus, I would have already faded with his death. I would like to fade, really, I think. I miss him terribly. But I also know my duty and I will make a good wife and a good mother. I will love the children produced of my body."
"You and your father provide persuasive arguments." Elrond said.
"You have forsaken the crown. Will you build Imladris only to forsake it as well and leave it without an heir?"
"This is what it all comes down to, isn't it? Heirs and kingdoms." Elrond sighed and his gray eyes darkened to pewter as his sadness threatened to overwhelm him. He'd always known that Gil-Galad would seek a wife because of duty and kingdoms. They'd discussed it. He never thought to lose his love to war, but he'd known he'd lose him anyway. "I will consider the proposal."
Celebrian nodded. "I will let you think then, on all my father and I have said. In the meantime, I will retire. Good evening, my lord."
~*~
*~*
Lindir awoke and twisted his head so that he could see Erestor. The advisor, true to his word, had not left his side. Lindir smiled. Erestor's quiet strength had been his salvation.
As if sensing eyes upon him, Erestor lifted his eyes from the book in his lap. He'd selected a volume at random from those placed casually around the room for the amusement of guests. The book was not particularly good, but then, he was only killing time. "Did you sleep well?"
"I did. Thank you for staying."
"The pleasure was mine. I believe there is to be a banquet on the lawn. Do you feel rested enough to attend?"
"I think so." Lindir swung his legs off the bed and his stomach grumbled. Laughing, he said. "If I am not, my stomach is."
"Your appetite begins to return." Erestor closed the book and replaced it on the shelf. "I am pleased."
Lindir cocked his head to one side and studied the dark haired elf. Was he staring love in the face and not even realizing it? Did he want love, after all that he'd gone through? The answer remained yes. For more than ever, Lindir desired to be loved and to give love in return. His terrible brush with death had changed him in small ways and large ones as well. Never again would he be the naïve youth. "May I ask you a question?"
"Certainly," Erestor crossed his arms at his waist and waited patiently.
"Why have you remained at my side?"
Erestor was startled by the question, as he'd never expected it, at least not so soon. "You are my friend."
"Is that all you want to be?" Lindir had to know the truth.
"No." Erestor saw no reason to lie. "But I will not push."
Lindir brushed his hair back from his face and got off the bed. "I am glad that you will not push and I am glad you were honest with me."
"And now that I have answered you honestly, will you do me the same honor?"
Lindir stood before Erestor and waited.
"Now that you have come to grips with the fact that Gildor loves you only as a friend, will you relinquish your love for him?"
"Yes. In my heart, I know he is gone. But, I've always known that, in my mind, he loved another."
"Still you held out for him? Why?" Curiosity prompted Erestor's question more than anything else.
Lindir thought about it for a moment. "Because his heart betrays him. The one he loves is gone, lost on the Dagorlad Plains."
"There were many who perished."
"Aye. Does it matter who? Say only that he has yet to recover."
Erestor let the issue go since it was none of his business. "I guess what I want to know now is whether I, like Gildor, love in vain?"
"I do not know, Erestor. I admire you and respect you and I think you are handsome. Love? I do not know that I am ready. Give me time?"
Erestor had not dared hope for even that so he shrugged his shoulders. "That I am able to give, along with my friendship."
"I am glad you were there when I awoke. And I thank you for being with me and helping me." Lindir laid his hand atop Erestor's shoulder, noticing the deep contrast between his ivory skin and the advisor's black robes. "I look like a ghost." He laughed.
Erestor shivered. "Please, Lindir, do not even jest about such a thing, for you were nearly a ghost and the thought makes my blood run cold."
Lindir's eyes were lit with amusement. "But I am not; so let us make merry and forget the nature of close calls. There is no need to dwell on the past when there is enough present and future to worry about."
~*~
Elrond sat quietly after Celebrian left. Outside,
servants were setting up a starlight supper on the manicured lawns. Lanterns
were being strung and lit in the trees and already the musicians had moved
out doors and the guests were beginning to follow. He thought over what Celebrian
and Celeborn had said. He thought about Gildor, as well. He did not have the
one he loved, yet he made do with what he could have. There was a degree of
wisdom in that philosophy. Gildor probably loved Galdor, too, in his own way
and that made the relationship between the two younger elves work. But, he
wondered, what would happen if Galdor were to find someone with whom to bond?
Gildor would, in all likelihood, continue on, Elrond realized. And Lindir.
Lindir knew that Gildor did not love him, maybe never had loved him as more
than a friend. Still, that did not stop Lindir from living and he seemed to
come to terms tonight with the knowledge that he would never have Gildor the
way he wished. Was he so far above these elves? If not, then why did he not
move on with his life? Standing rather suddenly, Elrond made his way from
the great hall. Perhaps Gildor was right.
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