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Do you find yourself buying fabric with bill money? Ever find
yourself lying awake at night plotting how to get your new fabric
from the trunk of your car and into your stash without being spotted?
Do visitors to your home suggest that you may have been infested
with "string and lint"? Have the kids or hubby mandated..."It's us
or the fabric"? Did you suggest that they all enjoy their new home?
Well, we have a solution for you right here!
The 12 Steps of Fabric Synonomous
1. We admitted we were powerless over the impulse to collect fabrics -
that our shelves, drawers, cupboards, attics, and homes had become
unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that only "one more" fabric could restore us to
sanity and in turn became a LQS and Internet Power Shopper.
3. Made a decision to turn the upkeep of our fabric over to the care
of The Big Fabric Maker In The Sky* as we understood Her/Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our fabric collections.
5. Admitted to TBFMITS*, to ourselves, and to another fabric lover
the exact number of our fabrics. (See # 10).
6. Were entirely ready to send duplicate quilting items to friends.
7. Humbly asked TBFMITS* to remove our misgivings about obsessive
fabric collecting and to give us peace as to whether or not it is
possible to be a fabric glutton.
8. Made a list of all fabrics and fabric lovers we had harmed, and
became willing to mend them all.
9. Made direct mendings to such fabrics and lovers wherever possible,
except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take fabric inventory and send photos to other quilting friends.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
awareness of who had the best fabrics for the best price, praying only for the money to
buy them with and the arm strength to carry them out of the store.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we
tried to fly this message to other fabriholics and to practice
these principles in all fabric dealings.
New fabriholics are not asked to accept or follow these Twelve Steps
in their entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.
They will usually be asked to keep an open heart, to attend meetings
at which recovering fabricholics share their personal experiences in
the delicious cycle of: see fabric, buy 2-20 yards of said fabric,
add some of those yards to personal collection, cut predetermined
amounts into strips, squares, or FQs, maniacally search for shipping
supplies, race to the post office, ship fabric to friends and Swap
Hostesses, return home, view fabric collection while humming, receive
shipment from other online quilt group members, squeal with sheer delight as each
new fabric is unwrapped, add selected "newbies" to personal
collection,
manically search for shipping supplies, race to the post office, ship
fabric duplicates to friends...on and on it goes. Also discussed are
pertinent topics such as, "Money, It's Not Just For Bills
Anymore", "Oh No! I Bought More Fabric Than I Used This Week!",
and "How to Spot an Imitation Batik".
It is our sincere wish to help
other fabriholics realize that even though we are in a world that
can be at times both cold and harsh, we are not alone. It is also
recommended that new collectors read any and all information
explaining fabrics and our fascination with them. There are many
wonderful websites available! Members will usually emphasize to new
fabriholics that only problem fabric lovers, themselves,
individually, can determine whether or not they are in fact
fabricholics.
At the same time, it will be pointed out that all available non-
medical testimony indicates that fabriholism is a progressive
thrill, that it should not be cured in the any sense of the
term, but that it can be appeased by maintaining a calm and steady
influx of fabric and quilting items into ones home(as opposed to
major buying frenzies that tend to result in lower energy levels and
slower fabric grabbing reflexes).
Our Prayer: God...thank you for the fabric I already have,
the
money to buy all of the fabrics I see, and the friends to make up the
difference.
If you are a proud member of Fabric Synonmous, raise your right hand, repeat the prayer, take this membership graphic and display it on your website or in your email. To get the graphic, simply copy the code below it and paste it into your html code.
<a href="http://www.geocities.com/ladybug7495"><img src="http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/ariremu/nmfabriholic2.gif"></a>
Please Note:
Before you waste my time or yours blasting me for poking fun at/making a parady of/or improvising on any 12-Step Program, please understand that this in not intended to be harmful, mean, rude, or degrading to any group of individuals either fictional or implied.
Also note, that sending me nasty e-mails implies your permission for me to use the content of the e-mail as I see fit.
If necessary, click here for your very own personal copy of our brand new program entitled "Sence of Humor". This program is in the beta stages and is downloadable free of charge! To install once the download is complete, simply follow the directions provided.
Enjoy!
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