EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!
PLEASE SEND MY HUSBAND HOME.
HIS SHIP IS DUE TO PULL INTO
A PORT NOT FAR FROM ROME.
MY SPIDER NEEDS TRANSPLANTING,
THERE'S NO LIGHT BULB IN THE HALL,
THE LIVING ROOM IS DRAFTY
WHERE OUR SON'S BEGUN TO CRAWL.
THE CAR HAS NOT BEEN TUNED UP
SINCE THE LAST TIME HE WAS HERE.
IT RUMBLES EVERY TIME I TRY
TO SHIFT TO SECOND GEAR.
I REALLY NEED HIM RIGHT AWAY,
I TELL YOU I'M NOT BLUFFING!
I HAVE AN ITCH I CANNOT SCRATCH
AND FLOORS THAT NEED A BUFFING.
THERE'S A COBWEB ON THE CEILING
THAT ONLY HE CAN REACH,
AND HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CLEANS
MY COUNTER TOPS WITH BLEACH.
THIS IS NO TRUMPED-UP EMERGENCY!
MY BATHROOM HAS A BUG,
AND I'M HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING,
AND I KNOW I NEED A HUG!
IN FACT IF I COULD GET ONE HUG
I GUESS IT WOULDN'T MATTER
THAT THE OVER NEEDS SCRUBBING
AND THE DOG IS GETTING FATTER.
A HUG WOULD REASSURE ME,
IT WOULD SAY THAT HE'S STILL MINE.
I'D COPE WITH BOTH THE HOUSE AND CAR
AND THINGS WOULD BE JUST FINE.
I GUESS THAT MY EMERGENCY
IS JUST BECAUSE IT'S HARD
TO WANT A HUG AND SETTLE
FOR A LETTER OR A CARD.
EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!
PLEASE RUSH THE MAIL HERE,
AND TELL HIM WHEN THE SHIP PULLS IN
I'LL BE WAITING ON THE PIER.
