A/N: The challenge was to write a 100-word drabble that involved Snape receiving inappropriate gifts for his birthday.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, and all these other people are characters belonging to J.K. Rowling. I claim no rights to them, their surroundings, or their situations. Much to my sorrow.
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"Kill me now," he begged. Minerva smiled and handed him another package. Secretly contemplating mass Obliviation, Severus grimly tore it open.
One hand-knitted orange "S.S." jumper. Best wishes, Molly.
Into the pile it went, along with:
One tin treacle fudge - Hagrid. (Useful...his bathtub needed re-caulking.)
Six pairs socks, assorted pastel colours - Albus.
"101 Easy Ten-Minute Potion Recipes." (Granger might get a thank-you note.)
One T-shirt ("Sexy Slytherin") - Minerva.
One fifty-Galleon gift certificate to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes - Flitwick.
At least this year, nothing jumped out of the bloody cake...
Splurch!
"SURPRISE!"
A singing Rent-a-Dwarf...in fishnet stockings.
"Damn."