| Chapter 7 |
| September the 9th came by really quickly and before she knew it Reese had quit her job, but her boss had told her that he would take her back any time if she changed her time. She had selected all the things that she thought she would need while se was away. They would only be gone for about a month or so, but what would it be like while they were there? She had no idea how things would go, and it was now too late to change her mind. Michael was getting more and more excited as the day got nearer. The first show was on the 12th, but they would go to Japan a few days early to have time to get over the jet lag. Michael was getting used to them and it only took him about two days to be �fine�. She slept in his apartment the night before they left. Her extra suitcases and bags had been taken care of and she would have them back in Japan. Michael had told her that she could take as many as she wanted, but she tried to minimise everything. He did some business while on the plane � and the journey seemed to her as if it would never end � and he seemed quite �distant�. You�re getting ideas girl� It could just be because he�s getting stressed out for the beginning of the tour. After all, you wanted to know the real Michael; here you are! ** We spent a whole month in Japan and after ten days I was sick of it� I couldn�t understand anything in the language, even if I made efforts, and sometimes they didn�t speak English at all! Michael seemed to get used to the whole culture so quickly, I felt left out. And I couldn�t go anywhere with him because we couldn�t be seen together� That�s not what I imagined at all. What was I expecting after all? He had warned me and I had agreed, but still it hurts when I know that he�s going out to have fun and I have to be left behind, waiting for him. And I can�t even go and wander around on my own because first of all I don�t understand their stupid language, and also Michael doesn�t want me to be outside by myself. I hate this country, I hate this tour that I can only witness from backstage, and I hate myself for not being satisfied with all the things I have! ** They left Japan nearly exactly a month after they had arrived and Reese felt more relieved than she had ever felt in her whole life as the plane took off. They were going back to LA and she was so happy to get back to this city that she knew, where she could talk to people, and most of all go back to her flat! When they got back they agreed that she would spend the first night on her own in her apartment. She needed it, and anyway it wasn�t exactly as if he would miss her at night� She had waited for things to get �deeper� between them after a few months, but he seemed so reluctant, so afraid� After that time on her sofa, he had not really touched again, at least not that way. She was beginning to wonder where their relationship was going� ***** At the end of October, Michael shot the video for his next single, The Way You Make Me Feel. She was invited on the set and she accepted eager to see him doing what he did best: perform. But things didn�t quite go the way she thought. The whole idea of the video was Michael chasing a girl in a street. Reese felt an intense jealousy grown inside her as she saw the girl, Tatiana� She was a �stunner�, everybody was looking at her and she knew it. Reese tried to relax, focusing on the fact that it was just business, they were shooting a video! They were about to shoot one of the last things when the director said something that Reese didn�t hear, and all the crew started going out of the studio. �What�s going on?� she asked the man who was passing by her. �Everybody�s gotta go out.� �Why is that? Is there something wrong?� �No Ma�am, just that it�s the embrace scene and Michael feels shy� Everybody out except for the people who need to shoot the scene.� That�s ridiculous, she thought, as she walked towards one of the assistants, to whom she had been introduced. �Ah, Miss Conelly, if you could follow me, please�� �I�m not going anywhere!� �Well, Mr. Jackson has requested that everybody should go out�� I�m not just everybody, she thought. �I have to ask you to go out like all the other Miss Conelly�� �Don�t worry, I�m outta here!� she said, grabbing her belongings. She didn�t bother going back to his dressing room but went straight to one of his bodyguards and asked him to drive her back to the hotel. She would have wanted to go back to her flat, but she had taken all the things to his hotel room since she had planned to stay there for a few days. When Michael finally got back in the evening, he ran into his room and looked relieved to see her there on the sofa, watching TV. �I was worried;, Tony said he didn�t know where you were�� �You were too busy anyway,� she said in a bitter voice, not taking her eyes off the TV set. �What do you mean?� he asked, sitting next to her. �Reese, is there something wrong?� She turned her head towards him and stared at him, deep into his brown eyes. And what she saw there was genuine wondering. He really had no idea of what was going on� �What was about? With Tatiana?� �What do you mean?� �Oh c�mon Michael, don�t be so innocent! What was that all about?� �I explained. I felt shy about that scene and I just asked if people who were not needed didn�t mind going out� W� What did you think it was?� �I don�t know!� she shouted, standing up. �I can�t bear it anymore Michael, you treating me like �anybody else�. I mean, why ask me to come round if I�ll have to leave like all the crew?� �Don�t get upset Reese�� �I am!� she said, tears rolling own her cheeks. �Michael I love you so much. I know you love me too, or at least I think so, but you don�t show it�� �Reese, you know I love you�� �Then show it Michael! I need you to show it to me, right now.� He seemed to hesitate, standing still in front of her, his fists clenched, his eyes wandering over the room. His breathing was getting faster and she was about to leave the room when he finally moved. He walked towards her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her passionately, deepening the kiss in a way he had never done before. His arms were caressing her back but his lips were not leaving hers. He made her walk towards the bed and gently pushed her so that she lay on it. He lay on her and kissed her again, aiming for the ears and the neck too, causing her to giggle once in a while. His hands were on her hips, on her tummy, caressing her and slowly making their way to the top. She felt incredibly good, and she had the feeling that he was enjoying too this time. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer, but that �ultimate contact� was too much and he suddenly broke the kiss and the embrace, and got up, walking away from the bed. �W� What�s wrong�?� she asked, sitting up and readjusting her clothes. �See what happens when you try and force me not to be myself,� he said, lowering his head and heading towards the bathroom. He locked himself in there before she had time to hold him back, leaving her to her tears on the empty king size bed. ***** But things went back to normal and he seemed to act as if that �incident� had never happened, which really puzzled her. They left on November 10th for Australia, where they spend less than three weeks, and what happened there was just like in Japan, no difference� She tried to make him understand that something was wrong, but he would always look at her deep in the eyes and swear that he loved her more than anything on earth, which always managed to make her relax. One day, she spent the day out on her own and didn�t come to the show. She said she needed some time alone and he said he understood. When he got back to the hotel room after the show, everything was strangely silent and dark, and for a second he was afraid she had left so he hurried to the bedroom. He sighed when he saw her. She had taken a bath and had just come out of the bathroom. She was sitting on the bed, wearing her bathrobe, carelessly watching TV. She had put her hair up with a clip and some wet locks hung down on her shoulders. Michael sighed when he saw her � she was so beautiful � she heard him and finally realised that he was back. �Reese,� he said smiling, �you�re so beautiful...� He came up to her, kissed her forehead and sat next to her on the bed. �How was the show tonight?� �Brilliant, as usual. The fans seemed particularly excited tonight.� He got up, took off his jacket and put it neatly on the back of a chair. He seemed preoccupied. �Michael, you OK?� �Oh yes!� he said, looking at her and smiling too. �I was just thinking how beautiful you were while I was on my way back here, and here you are, only dressed with a bathrobe, and I find you so irresistible...� The more he talked the more she reddened. She looked at her hand, not daring to meet his eyes again. It was false to say that she didn�t like compliments � everybody does � but he had never been so insistent... He sat again on the bed by her side and leaned towards her until his lips touched her neck. He knew how sensitive that part of her body was, and she couldn�t refrain a little giggle. He kissed her again, loosening up her bathrobe to kiss her shoulder. �Michael,� she said, moving aside a bit, �What are you doing?� �I said it, I have realized how irresistible you are Reese...� he said calmly, looking at her deep in the eyes. �I know I�m shy � you know it too � but I am a man... and I find you very, very attractive. I� I know I�ve �neglected� you lately, and I am so sorry� I want to make it up�� He leaned towards and this time he looked for her lips. He kissed her greedily, wrapped her in his arms and held her close, not letting her go. At first she was very surprised and didn�t know what to do. She had been longing for this to happen between them for so long now� But right now she no longer cared about all those things, because she was in his arms, his lips against hers. His hands slowly started wandering over her body, carefully exploring, until he suddenly stopped and broke the kiss. �I�m sorry...� he said, �I�m nervous... I... I don�t know wh�� �Shhh,� she said, interrupting him by putting her hand on his lips. She wouldn�t let him run away this time. �I understand and I don�t want to force you; I never will...� she calmly added. �You can trust me.� �I know I can... But I do want it, I really do... It�s just that �� �Let me help you,� she said. She reached for the bedside table and turned the light off. �It will help you if we�re in the dark... You can�t see my face, but you can feel me...� she said, taking both his hands and placing them back on her body. He swallowed hard, took a deep breath and leaned towards her again, ready to kiss her. Their kiss deepened as he lay her down on the bed while she slowly helped him taking off his T-shirt. Next step was undoing the belt of her bathrobe and slowly taking off his clothes, which he did reluctantly, but the darkness help, she was right. Her hands slowly made their way on his soft skin, but she was careful not to do anything that would frighten him once more. She didn�t rush him and let him get used to this feeling of her skin against his, of their connected bodies as he lay on her. That night, at 30, Michael finally discovered that there was nothing to be afraid of... ***** ** The following morning, when I woke up, I felt that something was different... I was too tired to open my eyes and I tried to remember going to bed last night but it all seemed blurred. And then suddenly I had a flash; I remembered kissing Reese; I remembered her turning the light off, telling me it would be OK; I remembered her naked skin; our naked skins touching each other... I opened my eyes and realised it was true. Reese was lying right next to me, and I could tell by her bare shoulders that she was not wearing her usual nightdress or pyjamas. Then I looked at myself and realised I was still naked as well... ** When she opened her eyes, she reached out for Michael but couldn�t feel him by her side. She woke up at once and looked for him in the room but still couldn�t see him anywhere... Oh my God, I hope I didn�t scare him yesterday... I thought he was alright... A second after, the bathroom door opened and Michael appeared, wearing his pyjamas and dressing gown. When he saw her worried look, he laughed. �Were you looking for me? Did you think I was gone?� �Well, I... I expected to wake up with you...� she said. �I�m sorry. I just felt rather uncomfortable naked... I�m sorry...� he replied, blushing. She smiled at him while he walked towards her and sat on the bed. �I... I hope I didn�t force you to do anything you didn�t want to do last night...� she said, looking at him. Then it was his turn to smile. �You know what?� he said, settling on his pillow so that she could put her head on his chest, �Last night surely was the best of my life, and I mean it...� He stared at her to make her understand that what he said was true. �I know some people call me a freak for still being a virgin at 30, but now I can say it was definitely worth it. I couldn�t have wanted more perfect conditions Reese... You were so perfect; you made that night perfect...� �Michael,� she stopped him, �I didn�t do anything special. I just �� �You just understood me, you made me feel comfortable, and that makes you so unique Reese... You actually do understand me, you know what�s good for me and what�s not. No one has never cared about me that much...� Tears were forming in her eyes. She knew what a difficult and �sensitive� issue sex was for Michael, because he had talked about it. And to be actually told that he couldn�t have dreamed about doing it for the first time with another person, it made her feel like a queen... He saw the tears and kissed her again and again until she finally smiled. �I always knew you were very special Miss Conelly, from the very first time I saw you, back in the Culver Studios... I love you so much Reese,� he said before giving her another kiss. �I love you so much that I�m going to order your favourite breakfast � that you will eat here in bed � and then we�ll do nothing today, just stay together here in this room if that�s what you want. Today, I�ll do whatever you want.� She looked at him, smiled, and kissed him again before he grabbed the phone to order breakfast. ***** Michael had never felt happier in his life after that night. He felt different, as if something had changed within him. He felt slightly more confident, and he owed it all to her... His perception of her body had changed too. He didn�t look at her bare legs in the same way now, same things if she was wearing tight trousers or skirts. He was fully aware of what a beautiful young woman she was, and he couldn�t help being so attracted to her. ** I don�t know how to explain it, but I fell like something has changed within me, deep down� I feel slightly more confident about many things, and I know it�s all thanks to her. And gosh, I surely don�t look at her in the same way now. I mean, she�s such a beautiful woman! Every time I see her I feel my stomach tightening and my plans getting sweaty. I don�t know what she has done to me, but she surely has changed me� ** They went back to USA for the end of the year and since they wouldn�t leave again until February, she decided to try and look for a little translation job to keep herself busy while we was �doing his things�. Since he didn�t really celebrate Christmas � even though she tried to convince him � she spent it with Steve and some other friends, after having been told a thousand times that she was �forbidden� to mention the relationship. She spent a nice evening with her friends, glad to spend some time with �normal� people again� Michael was everywhere, in all the newspapers, and it would have made her so happy if one of them had mentioned their relationship to the whole world, but she knew that it was a �forbidden subject�, no one was allowed to talk a out it� In January he went to his attorney�s wedding � John Branca � and he went there with Bubbles!!! She liked that chimp, he was really cute, but why??? Why was he doing this, pretending to be single and having fun with his chimp when he actually had someone who waited for him � and did nothing else�? After the �success� in Australia, things had been different for a while and they had made love again, but she had always been the one starting it; he would never do it. Now things were back to how they were before and she could feel a �distance� settling between them� At the beginning of February he went to Florida for his rehearsals � why on earth did they have to be there??? � but she stayed in LA. She could feel a little tension growing between them and thought that a little while apart could only help them. It sort of did but it started all over again when he launched his American tour around February 23rd in Kansas City. The same old thing that had happened in Japan and Australia. It was as if they were trapped in a vicious circle that would never end. No matter how she tried and succeeded, she knew it would only be temporarily� |