| ***Nerds go to the prom*** |
| Lisa........Gilda Radner Ined........Jane Curtain Marhsall......... Todd.......Bill Murray |
| I(Opens with Lisa clanging to "Heart and Soul" on the piano. Ined comes out.) Ined: Oh lisa, you look so lovely. Lisa: Thanks mom. Ined: Oh, now before Todd gets here to escort you to the prom, I thought we'd take a moment to have a little heart to heart. Just mother to daughter. Lisa: Okie dokie. (They sit at the couch.) Ined: Lisa, you've blossomed into quite a beauty. you know, sometimes when we go to the Shop-Rite I see the checkers staring at you. Lisa: Oh mom, thats just your imagination! Ined: Oh no Lisa, your not a little girl anymore. And you have to be aware of the effect you have on the male of the species. Now take Todd for instance, when that perfectly nice young man, feasts his eyes on you in that get up, his hormones are going to go beserk! Lisa: Oh mom, I dont like Todd in that way. Ined: Well you dont have to like someone to love them, Lisa. Your father, the late Mr. Loopner, Both bowing heads: God rest his soul. Ined: Your father and I never liked each other, but our love triumphed over our mutual dislike. I did my wifely duty, and your the living proof of that. Lisa: Mom, you dont have to worry about me going all the way with Todd. Im saving myself for my one true love, Marvin Hamlisch. Ined: Oh! Hes cute! Lisa dreamily: Yeah... Ined: Now what I'm about to say, is very hard for me to say. MAking a baby, its like...um, (struggles). It's like making egg salad. You, the woman, produce the eggs, and the man furnishes the mayonaise, of course you dont need chopped celery for-oh! I've just given you my egg salad recipe and I was saving that for your 21st birthday! Lisa: Mom! I know the facts of life. I got an A in health! (Doorbell rings) Lisa: Mom! Mom! Dont let him in til I get upstairs! (Lisa walks upstairs, Ined walks to the door. Todd and Marshall walk in.) Todd: Hello Mrs. Loopnerrrrr. Ined high voice: Hello Todd! Todd: You've met my chaufer, Marshall dad. Ined: Hello Marshall.. (Kiss each others cheeks) Marhsall: Always a pleasure Ined! (Wipes his nose. Ined leans to Todd.) Ined: Oh! Dont we look handsome Todd! Todd: Thankyouuu , Mrs. Loopnerrrr. Marhsall waving his arms: John Ravolta, watch out! (Yes, he said Ravolta not Travolta) Todd: My dad's a poor thing. (They all head over to the couch) |
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