Praying to die-Part 6
When I first got inside, the warehouse looked like a clothing storage place. There were racks and racks of clothes. My heart sank when I saw some of the racks had children's items on it. Then the smell hit me, and the only thing I felt was fear. I started to panic.
I couldn't control myself; I started to back up and said, "I think it would be better if I waited in the car."
It grabbed my arm, "I don't think so Alex, I think it would be better if you waited over here."
I tried to get away. I knew I wasn't going to succeed, but I couldn't stop, instinct took over. It dragged me to the end of the building, past the beds of rotting bodies. I closed my eyes as I passed them but I couldn't hide from the smell. I heard another set of footsteps approaching us.
When it stopped dragging me, I heard it say, "Sit down Alex."
I opened my eyes and saw a bench. The bench was in front of a wall. Next to the wall there was a huge opening, where they had built the showers. There were around twenty showers lined up. Some of the showers still had chucks of rot in them.
It turned me around and pushed me down onto the bench. I saw that another one of those things was standing beside it. I quickly looked down and tired to focus on a spot on the floor. I didn't want to look up.
It stood in front of me and grabbed my hair. It pulled my head up so it was looking at me in the eyes and said, "We have business to take care of. You will keep an eye on things while we're occupied. If I find out that you moved from this bench while I'm gone, one of these beds will have your name on it. Understand?"
I couldn't speak. I just nodded. It let go, adding enough of a push that my head hit the wall.
I tried to go back to focusing on a spot on the floor, but it wasn't going to give me that comfort.
"You can't very well keep an eye on the place looking at the floor can you?"
I knew it would stand there until I obeyed, or worse, it would stick me in one of those beds if I didn't obey. I tried to swallow my fear, and looked up. It and the other thing walked away, but that was little comfort now that I was actually looking at the place.
There must have been at least a hundred beds. Some were empty, but most still held rotting bodies in it. Bodies that were not dead. They weren't even covered. They were just lying there naked, decay all over them. That could be me lying there in a short while. I wanted to look away, but I was paralyzed. I couldn't move.
One of them got up. I think I whimpered. Its face was blank; it just started walking toward the showers, and towards me. I managed to close my eyes, but I could still hear its footsteps, and the smell was still just as bad as when I first got here. I heard it pass by me, and go into the showers. Then I heard water running, and these horrible splats. Splat after splat, it shed its decay, and then the shower stopped.
I heard it pass by me again. I opened my eyes wanting to make sure it was leaving. It was. Having finished its transformation it walked away, forever obedient, forever loyal:
forever trapped.
I wasn't going to turn out like that. I saw three more of them get up. Just like the other one, they immediately started walking towards the showers. I clutched my gun. Death would be better than this. They passed by me and into the showers. I heard water running again, and then those awful splats. Like a waking nightmare, I pictured myself doing that same routine. Body rotten, but not dead. Before the showers stopped, two more got up. I raised my gun to my head. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and counted to three.
I couldn't do it. I wanted to, my mind was screaming at me to do it, but my fingers wouldn't pull the trigger. I tried to collect myself, and attempted it again.
One. Two. Three.
I still couldn't do it. Fuck, I was a coward. At that moment, fear was the only emotion stronger than the hate I felt for myself. I leaned my head back against the wall. My face was wet, I didn't know if it was sweat or tears. I felt fucking useless. I was going to end up as the thing I feared most because I didn't have the balls to do myself in. I wasn't like Mulder. I didn't have anyone who would save me. They would stick that virus in me, and nothing would stop it from running its course.
More had gotten up. The showers were ongoing now, so were the sounds of decaying flesh hitting the floor. The sound was almost worse than the smell. I brought my legs up to my chest and placed my arm on my knees. I used my hand to cover my left ear and buried the other ear in my arm, right below my shoulder. I closed my eyes and sat there like that, pitifully, waiting for it to return.
It left me there for hours. I wasn't sure how long, but when it finally returned, all the beds were empty.
It looked at me sitting there, all curled up, and grinned. "Come on Alex, time to go to work."
I got up and followed it back to the car. I felt empty. It was hard to believe that less than a day ago, I was actually optimistic that I might get out of this. There was no way out, not for me at least. I couldn't escape, the only thing I could do was buy myself time. In this case, I was about to buy it with Mulder's life.
