By Luz E Mac�as
Agust�n read:
"I'm dying, friar."
"Confide in me. There is no higher good than to repent before death. It transports you directly to the heavenly gates to be greeted directly by the Almighty."
"Stop it. Hell for me before acceding to his share of mercy."
"But, my son, where is your repentance?"
"You don't understand, He's the most responsible for my misery. But, friar, please, I do need your mercy. My soul has been in hiding for so long and now what do I have to look forward to - worms to eat me instead of life in an inviolate body. Friar, promise me you won't let it escape once it is separate from my body. It has to remain here, here in this darkness. You must trap it here in the tunnel. Close that small window up there. Don't allow even a small crack. It can filter out through the tiniest spaces and you know what that means. Let me tell you everything now. Before I start, though, promise me that others will know of my immense pain."
"Yes, from my lips others will know of your misery. Such evil cannot continue on earth. I promise you this. So much pain cannot go unheeded."
"So, my story begins in that peaceful mountain village of my mother's where the land and the people were one. Peace reigned there. A mysterious stranger told my mother, newly wed that her son would become an eunuch. This was a word she didn't understand so this revelation just disappeared from her mind. Then my time to be born came. My story was likened to Christ�s because I, too, was born in a stable but the circumstances were different. A few months afterwards, mother traveled to the city to witness the crucifixion and death of Christ. Once there, she took me to a church, and everything changed for me. An extraordinary happens on an extraordinary day. A prophet, a preacher in the mountains of Alcal� proclaimed that I was another redeemer like Christ. I had to be circumcised on exactly the same day of Crist to enable his soul to incarnate in a newborn. For the church Father, this was the greatest miracle of all. I became the Son of God, the anointed one. The coincidences were self evident. I was born on 25th of December, at the same time, our parents shared the same names, I was heralded by an old man, he by an archangel."
" Impossible! This has to be somebody's idea of a joke."
"No, friar, everything is true. The words of the prophet were never doubted. My circumcision was planned, to be done by great experts in these procedure, who also possessed a dark sinister mind. When he cut me, he cut that and more. That's how I became what I am. I was dressed like Christ and I spouted the same words. At age 12 I met with the doctors of the Church. I was in charge."
" You were accepted as a eunuch. I just can't understand it."
" Patience, all will be made clear. When I was 12 I went to the marketplace where I found a young girl crying. I consoled her. It made me feel good. She knew the ways of love and I allowed her to play with my body freely and she uncovered by secret. From that day forward the governor learned of my existence. He ordered me brought to him, then detained me and had his way with me. I was used in a thousand ways. I was his chosen one. Then I was sent off to the seraglios. Here, I was spat upon and sold for gold. It made me very bitter but I learned how to get along with them. I planned my vengeance. I learned how to carry out medically and psychologically what had been done to me. People backed me even more, even the self serving governor. I was beholden to him who was responsible for all my misfortune. He boasted about this because it had been his specialty in his youth, before he achieved his high position. Even now, when he was bored, he reverted to his old pastime. At his side, I gained expertise in desexing males and females. The town began to be filled with these new beings. Often, he would whisper to me "The students will outdo the master." The lesson was to be passed on so it would live forever. Then, one day, it was the turn to operate on his children. This was the moment of my revenge. My own Sodom and Gomorra. One day after the orgy, he discovered that his children were detained in the torture chamber but it was too late. I had already was complete."fled. The circle was complete.�
"How could you? Didn't you feel any remorse?"
"I know all this because during my flight, I ended up in the monastery of the Jesuits where I hid for 10 years. I knew that when I reached the aged of 33 I had to die on the cross like Jesus. There I read the sacred books, studied Martin Luther, John Calvin. That's how I discovered the fate of others like me. On my death another being will receive my spirit, history will repeat itself. In these books I learned that there had been eunuchs in the Roman Empire, among the pharaohs, in the Napoleon wars, with Hitler, with Franco and with Oliver North and so on. I had to find the river of immortality to cleanse my body.
� Do you really believe such a river exists?�
� Not, for my crimes, but to find the immortal city. I knew I would travel in the desert where the sand was so white. I would reach them through the circular paths. I would arrive in the heat and burning with fever. There I drank eternity in its muddy waters. I had time to meditate and bring with me part of that immortal water. No descendants to inherit, right? That is my remorse. Don't you see it?
"Of course. I'm just surprised. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.�
"My disappearance from the world of the faithful put a stop to that historical process. My return to the time of Christ was awaited to fulfill a cycle that had to repeat itself every 33 years. It was an invention of the Christians. Different Christs would continue appearing after my death. I mocked them all. I defied Christ who at that time lived in the hills of Piety. I was a great preacher then with great many followers. Twelve apostles, simple, honest men who followed me from hill to hill. That day I waited for them in the usual place. They hid me because I was being hunted. Then a beautiful man appeared who offered me all the mountains, water, power if only I could prove that I was more powerful than God."
"If you are more powerful than God then throw yourself from this peak to the darkness beyond.�
"I launched myself into the abyss. Below, he awaited me. He embraced me, I was happy. My followers remained above, but now they condemned me, even throwing stones at me. I was expelled from paradise because I preferred to be Lucifer. You see, I had to finish this game. Now, you are here: you are my witness. Read what the sacred books say: Though the texts say that an eunuch disguised as a monk will condemn me, the prophecy will be fulfilled." For 200 years I've lived in this hills apart from mankind. I've meditated for a long time. I have conquered immortality, with the line of eunuchs will perdure."
"Impossible. You have stopped the course of Christianity for Twenty centuries."
"You mean for 250 years but if you bury me in that tunnel, the sachet books will be proven wrong. They await the Messiah. Let's change the course of history, but first drink this elixir that will make you a strong man, you'll be able to follow in my footsteps. Drink it because we'll obtain life everlasting. Don't go away. Close the door. Don't go away. Come backackack."
"I have to go. I'm going to announce the Annunciation."
Agust�n closed the book.
Eunuco
Por Luz E. Macias
Agust�n ley�:
"Me estoy muriendo, monje."
"A ver hijo cu�ntame tus pena. No hay don m�s grande que un pecador arrepentido antes de su muerte. Llegar�s a las puertas del cielo. Dios te recibir�."
"No, prefiero el infierno a su misericordia."
"No hay en tus palabras un arrepentimiento sincero.'
"Escuch� monje, a El menos que ha nadie le perdono lo que me hizo. Necesito tu perd�n, estoy cansado y tengo muchos a�os de esconder mi alma para que se la coman los gusanos y no vaya a meterse en otro cuerpo inocente. No permita que deambule por ah�, antes de separarse de mi cuerpo aseg�rate que no va a salir de este cuarto oscuro y sucio: cierra bien la diminuta ventana alla arriba, es preciso que quede atrapada en este t�nel. No dejes ni un orificio abierto, se puede colar por cualquier lado y ya sabr�s lo que pasar�. Ya te voy a contar todo. Pero antes de esto, �me promete que por tu boca todos comprender�n la miseria humana en que he vivido?"
" Te lo prometo. �No hay tanto mal en la tierra!"
" Lo hay. Hace mucho a�os, mi madre viv�a en un pueblo muy tranquilo rodeado de monta�as. All� todo era paz, el verdor de los campos se confund�a con los pobladores. Mi madre reci�n casada tuvo la visita de un hombre quien le asegur� que su hijo ser�a un var�n eunuco. Como ella no conoc�a el significado de la palabra lo olvid�. Pero al correr del tiempo nac�. Se me compar� con Jes�s, me pasaron cosas igual que a �l. Naci en un establo pero no por las mismas razones. A los meses mi madre sali� del pueblo para la ciudad a celebrar la crucifixi�n y muerte de Jes�s. Me llev� a la iglesia y ah� empez� la cosa."
"�Qu� cosa empez�, en un d�a santo?"
"Un profeta, predicador en las monta�as de Alcal�, dijo que yo era otro redentor como Jes�s. Deb�a hacerme la circuncisi�n precisamente el mismo d�a que se celebraba la del Nazareno, porque mi esp�ritu como el de �l se proyectar�a en otro cuerpo reci�n nacido. Los doctores de la iglesia vieron en esto un milagro. Se me se�al�. Yo era el hijo de Dios. Coincid�a: Nac� un 25 de diciembre a la misma hora, mi madre y mi padre se llamaban igual que los suyos. Yo hab�a sido anunciado por un viejecito; �l por un Arc�ngel."
"�No puede ser!, alg�n charlatan que quiso hacer una broma."
"No, todo esto es cierto. Ellos nunca dudaron de las palabras del profeta. Se plane� mi circuncisi�n con un hombre muy docto en la medicina pero de mente siniestra y oscura. Al circundarme se llev� todo. As� me convert� en un eunuco. Se me visti� como Jes�s, y hablaba las mismas peroratas. A los doce a�os me reun� con los doctores de la ley. Mandaba y ordenaba."
"�Ellos aceptaron tu condici�n de eunuco!, �no entiendo nada, absolutamente nada!"
"Ya comprender�. A los doce a�os fui a la plaza de mercado, encontr� a una ni�a llorando; la consol�. Me sent� bien. Ella conoc�a las rutas del amor: la dej� jugar con mi cuerpo sin resistencia y decubri� mi castigo. Desde ese d�a se enter� el gobernador de mi existencia. Me mando a buscar, me abraz� y all� me tuvo para sus necesidades. Fui usado de mil formas por �l. Fui su favorito. Despu�s con su ayuda pase a las serrallos. All� se me escupi� y se me vendi� por oro. Viv� muy amargado pero aprend� a discurrirme entre ellos. As� plane� mi venganza. Me doctor� en el discurso, en la medicina; practiqu� todo lo que hicieron conmigo. Ten�a gente que me apoyaba el mismo gobernador auspici�. Fui su s�bdito. Era el culpable de mi desgracia. El mismo lo cont�. Ese fue su oficio en su juventud, antes de ser mandatario. Sin embargo, en sus d�as sin inspiraci�n �ste era su deporte favorito. A su lado practiqu� las formas de eunucar a hombres y mujeres. Empec� a llenar el pueblo de estos seres. Muchas veces repiti� este estribillo: "el disc�pulo supera al maestro" quiz�s para que yo lo aprendiera o lo memorizara. Adem�s, deb�a de ense�ar mi tarea a otros que la continuar�an por siglos. Hasta que un d�a le toc� el turno a sus hijos. Ah� desahogu� todo el dolor que llevaba. Esa noche fue m�a. Me vengu� del gobernador que hab�a sido mi castrador. Hice lo mismo que en los noventa d�as de Sodoma y Gomorra. Al d�a siguiente despu�s de tanta org�a, descubri� que sus hijos se encontraban en el palacio de la tortura; para ese entonces yo ya hab�a huido. La historia se repite."
"�C�mo sabes t�? �No sentiste pena, u otro deseo para detenerte!"
"Esto lo s� porque en mi hu�da termin� en los monasterios de los Jesuitas donde me escond�. All� permanic� por diez a�os, sab�a que a los treinta y tres ten�a que morir crucificado como Jes�s. Me dediqu� en el monasterio a leer las sagradas escrituras, a estudiar los mohomistas, a Mart�n Lutero y Juan Calvino. As� descubr� la verdadera suerte de seres como yo. Con mi muerte otro cuerpo recibir�a mi esp�ritu y continuar�a la historia. Conoc� en estos libros que hubo eunucos en el imperio Romano, entre los faraones, en las guerras napole�nicas, con Hitler, con Franco, con Regan y que se seguir�an sucediendo. Ten�a que encontrar el r�o de la inmortalidad para purificar mi cuerpo?"
"�El r�o de la inmortalidad! �Acaso hay un r�o que te purifique de tus cr�menes?"
"No, de mis cr�menes sino de buscar la ciudad inmortal. Sab�a que viajar�a por el desierto donde la arena es infinitamente blanca. Llegar�a a trav�s de caminos circulares. Sab�a que llegar�a en medio de la fiebre y el calor. Beb� en sus aguas fangosas la eternidad. Tuve tiempo de meditar y traer conmigo parte de esa agua inmortal. As� no hab�an herederos. Aqu� est� mi arrepentimiento. �No lo ves?
"S�. s�, todo eso est� muy bien, no te estoy recriminando, estoy sorprendido, eso es."
"Mi desaparici�n del mundo de los creyentes, deten�a un proceso hist�rico. Esperaban mi regreso a la edad de Jes�s para la continuaci�n de un hecho que se deb�a suceder cada treinta y tres a�os. La inventaron los cristianos. Seguir�an apareciendo Jesuses con mi muerte. Me burl� de todos. Desafi� a Jes�s, porque a esa edad viv�a en los montes de Piedad. Para ese entonces era un gran predicador, ten�a creyentes. Doce ap�stoles me segu�an de monta�a a monta�a, hombres sencillos e humildes. Ese d�a los esperaba en el monte a la hora de costumbre. Todos me proteg�an porque me buscaban para matarme, cuando apareci� un hombre muy hermoso que me ofreci� todo: las monta�as, el agua, el poder de los hombres. S�lo una cosa simple exig�a: ten�a que demostrar que era superior a Dios."
�"Si eres superior a Dios atr�vete y l�nzate desde esta pe�a a las tinieblas de la profundidad".�
"Me arroj� al abismo. Abajo estaba esper�ndome. Me abrazaba, estaba feliz. Arriba en la pe�a quedaba mi reba�o, los pescadores: hombres que confiaron en mi ret�rica, pero ahora me condenaban, arrojando piedras. Me botaron del para�so, prefer� ser Lucifer. Ves, ten�a que acabar con esta juerga. Ahora t� has llegado. T� eres mi testigo. Lee aqu� lo que dicen la Sagradas Escrituras: �Aunque, las escrituras dicen que llegar� un eunuco disfrazado de monje para condenarme, la ley se cumplir�.� He vivido por m�s de doscientos a�os en el monte aislado de los hombres. He meditado por mucho tiempo. He sobrepasado la inmortalidad, conmigo se repitir�n los eunucos."
"�No puedo ser. Has detenido el curso de la historia de los cristianos por veinte siglos!"
"�Por dos siglos y medio querr�s decir! pero si me encierras en este t�nel, desmentiremos los libros Sagrados. Ellos esperan al Mes�as. Cambiemos el curso de la historia, pero antes yo te ofrezco beber este el�xir que te transformar� en un hombre fuerte; no envejecer�s. Seguir�s mis pasos. T�malo porque conseguiremos la eternidad. No te vayas. Cierra la puerta. Oye no te vayas. Regresaaaa. "
"Tengo que irme. Voy a hacer la anunciaci�n. "
Agust�n cerr� el libro.
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Luz E Mac�as (Colombia, ) narradora, ha publicado Los Pasos cuentos del cielo y del infierno, (2000) y Los fantasmas en el espejo, (2003). Fundadora de la revista literaria La Casa del Hada, desde 1994 y editora de La Cueva de la Sibila. El Hijo Buenitoooo (drama) fue producida por el festival de verano I.A.T.I. New York 1990. Dirigida por Manuel Martin rese�ada por el New York Newsday y prologada por el dramaturgo mexicano Emilio Carballido. Invitada a la feria del libro de Bogot� 2004 y la feria internacional de Miami 2001. Sus cuentos han sido publicados en varios revistas literarias, peri�dicos y revistas virtuales.