Kynan on the big and small screens? There have been rumours floating around that a certain US film studio has approached Kynan management with the view to buying the rights to Fartacus and turning it into a motion picture. They are said to be 'in discussion' at the moment, but apparently the band members are not keen to give up their beloved stage play to just anyone. It is unsure whether the guys themselves would star in the film, but some fans I've spoken to have said that it would be a travesty to have anyone else but Crusty Nuts play the part of Fartacus, particularly during the poignant scene where he turns his back on Mariah and inadvertently kills her. "Not to say that MJ and The Cheese aren't every bit as wonderful and essential," spoke Tom, a fan, "but the look on Crusty's face when he realises what he's done? I've seen them perform it a number of times, and that look, well it just, you know, gets me every time." Couldn't have said it better myself, Tom.
On that note, Crusty has already appeared on US television this past month on an ad for Bell's Pure Honey. The ad shows a very buff and shirtless Crusty getting covered in honey, and features the line "Don't get burned by anything less than Bell's". Sales have apparently gone through the roof. For those outside the US you can drool over the ad on Youtube.
April 2006
Early this month news hit the headlines that singer/songwriter Ben Lee was hit in the head by a glass bottle at a performance in Margaret River, Western Australia, causing minor concussion and the concert to be cut short. No one has yet been identified as the bottle thrower, but several fans have noted that the incident coincided with a brief stopover by Kynan, on the road to promote the forthcoming album due to be released early May. Interestingly MJ, normally not afraid to speak her mind as far as Ben Lee is concerned, has been strangely silent on the matter and Kynan management have refused to make an official comment. The Cheese and Crusty Nuts have also not spoken on the issue, but they did break out into a fit of the giggles when asked about it during a subsequent interview for a local Sydney radio station.
Crusty Nuts has also been keeping a secret of his own. Apparently touring with Kynan and writing and recording a new album hasn't been quite enough to keep him busy. He was spotted in Sydney's Sandringham Hotel drumming for a band of unknowns calling themselves 'Manhug', as a support for locals Juice 5. Kynan fan JD managed a quick word with him after the set but couldn't get any information on whether he was just filling in or whether this is his own side project. The music was apparently part rock, part folk and part Disney, with Crusty making frequent and excellent use of a triangle. There also seemed to be plenty of songs satisfying his widely known partiality to the 3/4 time signature.
March 2006
The new single 'Superheated Honey' has hit record stores in Australia and gone straight to number one in its first week. Whilst this was never in much doubt, The Cheese has expressed some regret that it pushed Delta Goodrem down into 2nd place. "She has had cancer, after all," she told Triple J, "but as for the Veronicas I'm very happy to see them lose a spot. In fact, I'd be really really happy to see them lose a few limbs." There has been no confirmation that the Veronicas did actually put on extra bodyguards during their current tour.
January 2006
Fans were stunned and amazed when, during a routine lunch at the Belconnen Mall food court, the Kynan trio proceeded to give an impromptu performance of Act 3 of Fartacus. Many shoppers and lunchers were moved to tears by the show, one enthusiastic punter reported as saying "The Cheese must have had one hell of a good rogan josh last night".
December 2005
The latest press release from Kynan management says the trio has gone straight from their tour to the recording studio, and it looks like a new album will released earlyish next year. The first single, which will most likely be the title track, is called 'Superheated Honey' and has already been trialed on tour, with a warm reception from fans. Patrick C caught the show in Agana, Guam, and spoke briefly to the band. According to Pat MJ said the single was inspired by a real-life incident that Crusty Nuts had with a microwave and a small portion of honey, but Crusty was a bit shy and refused to take off his shirt to show the damage (the Cheese happily obliged instead but I couldn't get a coherent sentence out of Patrick about this).
August 2005
Kynan will shortly be embarking on their 'Rumble in the Jungle' tour with dnb-style outfit Jungle Mother and the Big Hands (incidentally, a new collaborative effort between MJ and ex-member of Mirrored Chaos, Spaceman). The tour will be wending its way through numerous Pacific islands, Borneo, the Amazon basin and the Congo. There will also be a special one off 'Urban Jungle' performance in New York.
May 2005
The Bum Piercing Thistles will be launching the new album 'Geriatric Testicles' next month, with a short tour to promote it. Sorry guys, this tour will be in Australia only, but there will apparently be a live webcast of the after party of the cd launch which will take place in Sydney. This webcasting thing is a bit of a tradition for the Bum Piercing Thistles, but if it's anything like the last after party there will be 4 hours live streaming of The Cheese sprawled under a table, wrapped around a bottle of chardonnay, and the rest of the band playing Uno.
March 2005
The Cheese is back from her sabbatical with Van Halen, and is apparently keen to begin recording new material for the Bum Piercing Thistles. A recent interview she gave let slip the news that she has been listening to a lot of Tina Arena lately and that it may well have some influence on the album. She was reported as saying that 'anyone who has a problem with that can-a talk-a to the fist...'
December 2004
Crusty Nuts has allegedly been spotted wandering along Sydney's George Street NAKED. I have been emailed by several fans who couldn't believe their eyes when they saw this. According to one source he was carrying a bunch of flowers and a shopping bag from Lowe's, and another source said they saw him walk into a bank. We can only speculate on what he was doing, but possibly there was some kind of promotion for Karlos' recently released 'Jackpot' remix of Crack? He was showing a little more than just crack, however (a LOT more, according to one fan, thanks for that Josie!). There has been no comment from Kynan management on the incident.
