BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL
SATURDAY, MAY 26 03:30 EST

Sarah Mackenzie waited impatiently, the Admiral standing next to her, as the helicopter carrying Harm landed on the pad. The rain was still coming down in sheets, stinging her face even under the awning they were under. Mac didn’t even notice. Her mind was on the still form being taken out of the helicopter by the waiting paramedics. As soon as he was on the ground Mac broke away from the Admiral’s side in a dead run. She had to see him, to touch him, to see for herself that he was alive. She had to let him know that she was here and that she wouldn’t leave him, maybe not ever again.

"Harm! I have to see him! Please let me see him!" Mac was having to shout, not just doing so in panic, but also to be heard over the chopper.

"Ma’am, I’m sorry but you’ll have to stay back. We need to get him inside..."

"No you don’t understand. I need..."

"Mac!"

Hearing Harm’s cry Mac broke through the medics, reaching Harm’s side.

"Harm, I’m here," Mac said through tears she no longer tried to hide. She grabbed his hand and held it against her face. "I’m here, Harm."

"Mac, I’m so sorry, for everything. For the things I said, for leaving you, for not...not..."

"Shh, Harm. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise."

"Don’t leave me, Mac."

There was more than one meaning to his words but she took them for the here and now. "I’m not going anywhere, Harm. I’ll be here with you. Right here with you.." She was crying again. She couldn’t help it. Tears of joy, tears of pain. Both feelings were coming up out of her. Seeing him alive, however, was the most incredible feeling she had ever felt.

"Ma’am, we really need to get him inside."

Mac nodded silently and started to move away from the gurney. Just as they started to move him she cried out.

"Wait!" Before anyone, including Mac, could think she leaned down and pressed her lips to Harm’s in a needy kiss. She needed to show him, to let him know in some physical way that she was here for him. She broke away and before he could say anything she backed away and let them take him inside.

Walking back over to AJ, Mac was unable to look him in the eyes when she finally stood toe-to-toe in front of him. AJ knew what she was going through. He had known from the beginning, when they had all first met, that someday these two would be in a situation where he would have to transfer one of them out, or by some act of God be able to pull "Admiral’s Privilege" and try to keep them both at JAG. After they finally figured out what everyone knew of course. Of course that had never happened. He had been ready and waiting, but these two might be brilliant lawyers but they were piss-poor at relationships. Damn stupid people! He had set by and watched their once close friendship almost completely dissolve in the last two years. They were both miserable but were still plunging head first into serious relationships with the wrong people.

Sitting at the rehearsal dinner, and the rehearsal for the ceremony before that, AJ had watched Mac go through the motions. There were smiles that had never quite reached her eyes. Thinking no one was looking, her eyes took on a far off look wondering what HE was doing right now, wishing HE was there. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was thinking, she was that transparent. How in the hell Mic could still marry her, knowing how she felt about Harm, he’d never know. And, how the hell Mac could still marry Mic, after kissing Harm the way she had at the engagement party, he’d never understand either. What a God damn mess!

AJ tilted Mac’s face up forcing her to look him in the eyes. "That was quite a show Colonel."

Fear settled into her big, brown eyes. "Sir, I’m sorry, Sir. I never meant..."

"Mac, it’s okay," AJ spoke quietly. "You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I already know." Mac’s eyes shot up in surprise. AJ smiled down at her. "However, you do realize you are going to have to explain yourself to the very ignorant man in that hospital. And," AJ continued, "you’re going to have to explain it to your fiancé."

"I know," Mac answered. She smiled back at him, this one finally reaching her eyes. "First, we make sure Harm is okay. When he’s all better, I’m gonna lay into him for scaring the hell out of me."

Mac was going to be just fine, AJ couldn’t help but think. He did, however, have serious doubts about Harm’s well being. There might not be much left when the Marine Colonel in front of him got done kicking Harmon Rabb Jr.’s six from here to the middle of next week. AJ chuckled at the thought. "Then what happens, Mac?"

"I really don’t know yet, Sir. A lot is going to be riding on what the Commander wants to happen next."

"What about Mic?"

Mac sighed. What the hell was she going to do about Mic? The little voice in her head nagged at her, telling her that Mic already knew how she felt. The look in his eyes after seeing her crying her crying over Harm had spoke volumes. No words had been spoken but he knew. However, she still owed him an explanation.

"I really don’t know."

AJ shook his head in understanding. He took Mac’s hand and Mac squeezed it tightly. "Come on, Mac. Let’s go see how that sailor of yours is doing."

"He’s not mine yet, Sir," Mac said quietly as they started to walk back into the hospital.

AJ smiled and squeezed her hand again. "He’s always been yours, Mac."

Mac just nodded silently and kept walking.

BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL

SATURDAY, MAY 26 04:30 EST

Mac sat, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on her jacket. They hadn’t found much on Harm yet. No one was being allowed to see him, and Mac was slowly going insane. AJ walked back over to her and sat down in the chair beside her.

"Have you heard anything else, Sir," Mac asked anxiously.

"Not much. They said he swallowed a lot of sea water, broke a couple of ribs, might have a mild case of hypothermia.. They’re still checking him over."

"When can I see him?"

AJ tried to hide a smile. ‘I’ not ‘we’ Mac had asked. "I don’t know. They said they would let us know when we could."

Looking down at her hands in her lap she timidly asked her next question. "Did you get a hold of Renee?"

AJ sighed. "Yeah, I did. Mic is bringing her over. They should be here in about a half an hour."

Again Mac nodded silently. AJ could see the pain and indecision on Mac’s face. Even though she was relieved Harm was alive, now she had to deal with the fall out.

"Mac? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Sir, I don’t know if I can. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. There is so much I can’t explain. I thought I was so sure of myself, of my feelings for Mic. I thought that what I had felt...still feel for Harm had died a long time ago, until...until..."

"Until the night of the party?" AJ added.

"What?" Mac was shocked. "But how did you know, Sir?"

"Oh come on, Mac. You two disappeared for over an hour at your own engagement party to another man. What? You thought no one noticed? I sent Tiner out to get you and when you didn’t come in immediately I went around the other way to get you myself. I, uh, kind of saw what happened next."

At Mac’s gasp, AJ couldn’t help but smile. "Yeah, I kind of had the same reaction myself, Mac. Imagine my surprise to not only walk up on two of my officers kissing but, as I said, one of whom was supposed to be marrying another man."

"Oh, Admiral. I’m...I’m mortified. What you must think of us. Sir, it was my fault, actually. I started it. Of course I never meant for it to go that far but..."

AJ cut her off before she could go any farther. "Mac, it’s all right. Like I said, I do understand. But did you even listen to yourself just now. You’re not just defending you, you’re defending Harm as well. All you can think about is that man in there. You love him, Mac, and he loves you. I’ve seen it a million times over the last five years. You’re a ‘team’ in every sense of the word. You and Brumby make no sense together. You and Mic are just two individuals. You and Harm...well you’re like...for lack of a better word, one. You have a trust, an understanding."

Mac started at AJ’s words. "I’m sorry, Sir. What did you just say?"

"I said you have a trust and an understanding between you two. Look, no matter how far you’ve drifted apart over the last two years you still have that connection. Hell, I’ve even tried separating you two over the last year to make things easier on you both, but somehow, some way, it always comes back together. Back to the two of you." AJ paused considering his next words. "Mac you need to let Mic go. It’s not fair to let someone believe you love them when you don’t."

Again deja vu hit Mac like a sledge hammer. Harm’s words from court came rushing back. Fate was giving her a wake up call. Now all she had to do was figure out what to do about it.

AJ looked at Mac intently. Looking shell-shocked, AJ could sympathize with her, having never been good at relationships himself. Maybe someday, if he found the "one", he’d be smart enough to grab a hold of her and never let her go.

"Excuse me? Are you here for Mr. Rabb?"

Looking up at the nurse, Mac stood up quickly while the questions tumbled out. "Yes, we’re here for Harm. How is he? When can we see him?"

"Well, Ma’am, he’s doing pretty well. Better than we expected when we first heard he was coming. He has three broken ribs and he was banged up pretty good. He swallowed a lot of sea water so he’ll probably have a heck of a sore throat, but other than that he’s going to be fine. We were worried about hypothermia but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a factor in his recovery. We’re going to keep him overnight for observation but he should be able to go home late tomorrow evening," she only paused a moment before continuing. "He keeps asking for someone named Mac. Would that be you, Sir?"

AJ chuckled. "No, Ma’am. That would be her," AJ said pointing to Mac.

"Oh, my apologies, Ma’am."

"It’s alright. Can I see him now?"

"Absolutely. He’s right down the hall, there, to your right. Fourth door on the left, room 213."

Mac looked at AJ, waiting for permission.

"Go on, Mac. He needs you."

"Thank you, Sir, for everything."

"You’re welcome, Mac. Now go on, would you?"

Turning on her heal, Mac marched down the hall toward room 213.

BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL

HARM’S ROOM, 213

Mac walked through the open door and into the dark hospital room. The stark antiseptic smell assaulted her senses. She hated hospitals. Harm was laying in his bed, his head turned facing the window. The rain was still coming down, pounding a steady rhythm against the window. As she walked further into the room, toward him, she noticed how pale he looked against the bright white sheets. He shivered and Mac immediately became concerned. Her gasp made Harm turn his head toward her.

Then he smiled at her and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Something broke inside her and the flood gates opened. The tears streamed down her face and she was powerless to stop them. She wanted to be strong for him but damn it, she was tired of being strong for him. Slowly walking over to the bed, Mac took his hand in hers.

"Mac?" It was barely a whisper.

Mac brought his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm gently then brought it to her cheek. He started to wipe her tears away like he had so many other times before.

"Mac, please don’t cry."

"Why? Why shouldn’t I cry? You almost died, Harm. God, the last words we spoke to each other were in anger. I could have lost you forever. Then what would I have done?"

"You’ll never loose me, Mac."

More deja vu. "Don’t make a promise you can’t keep."

"I haven’t yet," he whispered and smiled.

"No, you haven’t. But you almost broke this one. God, Harm, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry we fought. I’m sorry I didn’t wish you luck. I’m sorry I made you make that promise to be at the wedding. I"m..."

"Mac, it’s not your fault. If anyone should be sorry it’s me. I have so much to be sorry for. Two years worth of things to be sorry for. And I am sorry, Mac. I’m sorry I was such a fool."

"It’s okay now. Everything is going to be okay. We’ll be okay, Harm."

"Will we, Mac?"

"It’s going to take some work, but, yeah. I think we’re going to be just fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Harm!"

Harm jerked away from Mac at the sound of Renee’s voice.

"Oh, Harm. Thank God you’re alright. I was so worried about you. I was so afraid." She kissed him and Mac had to look away. The stab of jealousy that hit her left her weak. She had to get out. She couldn’t watch them. The love Renee felt for Harm was evident. Mac turned around quietly and walked out the door.

Watching her silent retreat, Harm wanted more than anything to keep her here with him, but knew he couldn’t. She had let Renee take her rightful place at his side. But, God help him, he wanted it to be Mac by him. Forever.

Walking back to the waiting room Mac could not help but feel despondent. A heaviness had settled over her heart, weighing her down and making it almost hard to breathe.

"Sarah."

Mic’s voice penetrated her muddled thoughts. Trying to smile, she attempted to look happy to see him, but couldn’t quite pull it off. Noticing, Mic decided to say nothing. Putting his arm around her, Mic led her back to the waiting room and settled her into one of the oversized chairs.

Tentatively he asked, "So how is he?"

"He’s going to be fine. The doctor says he should be able to go home tomorrow if everything goes well tonight."

"Well that’s great, isn’t it, Luv?"

Mac nodded in silent agreement.

"Well, why don’t we just move everything back? Now that Harm is here he can be at the wedding and..."

"Mic."

"Come on, Luv, it will be great," he went on as if she hadn’t spoken. "Now everyone you...care about will be there for our special day."

Staring at Mic, Mac was completely dumbfounded. He was still pushing, just like he had always pushed. He had pushed her into dating, pushed her into accepting his ring, pushed her into an engagement. Then he pushed her to set a date, pushed about when and what kind of ceremony it would be...and she had let him. He had completely controlled her from the beginning. Looking back, nothing about their relationship or their wedding had any of her in it. It was all Mic. Somewhere along the way she had lost "Mac" the kick-ass jar head and had become Mic’s "Sarah", a soft, weak, pushover. Well, not anymore.

"No, Mic."

"What did you say?"

"I SAID NO."

All Mic could do was sit there, staring at her. Soon enough he found his voice. "But, Sarah, Harm’s alright. There is no reason why we shouldn’t go ahead with our plans."

"That’s just it, Mic. They are not OUR plans, they’re yours. You have pushed me along in every step of this relationship. I am tired of being pushed!" Mac took a calming breath before continuing. "Mic, when I get married, I want it to be because I made the decision. I don’t want it to be because someone forced my hand. I deserve better than that."

"Sarah, I never..."

"Oh, but you did, Mic. You have from the very beginning. Look, Mic, you’re a great guy. I care for you very much. But, Mic, I can’t say the words to you and mean them. That’s why I have never said them. You need to hear the words, Mic. You deserve to hear the words. But from me, they would be a lie."

"Mac, you can’t do this to me. You can’t just walk away. Not after everything we’ve..."

Placing her fingers against his lips she whispered, "Sometimes that’s how you help a person the most. I’m so sorry, Mic."

Silently Mic stood and started to walk away. At the end of the waiting area he couldn’t resist one last look at the woman he loved more than anything. "I love you, Sarah Mackenzie," the words were spoken softly with unshed tears.

"Goodbye, Mic."

Nodding his assent Mic walked away.

And Sarah Mackenzie cried.

Watching the whole scene from a safe distance away, AJ had seen the look of defeat on the Australian’s face. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for Mic. Walking over to Mac, he sat down beside her and pulled his into his strong arms. For the longest time he held her, letting her cry, and offering her his strength. Finally the sobbing slowed and then stopped. Looking up at her commanding officer through her tears, Mac broke into a brilliant smile. AJ knew, in that moment, that Mac was going to be just fine.

"Alright, Marine. That will be enough of that. Bud and Harriet are on their way here. They are bringing you a change of clothes, so when they get here this is what you are going to do. You are going to change and freshen up, then you are going to get some chow before we settle you down here on one of these very comfortable couches for the night." Before Mac could protest, AJ cut her off. "That is an order, Colonel!"

Again, Mac smiled at her CO and good friend. "Yes, sir."

"Good girl."

BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL

O6:00 EST MAY 26, 2001

Mac was sitting alone in the half dark cafeteria. Having taken her engagement ring off, she held it between her thumb and index fingers, twisting it. The light caught the clear gem making it sparkle even in the dim setting. Looking at it, Mac finally realized it held empty promises and false hopes. She had accepted it for all the wrong reasons.

‘Why did you go to him so quickly?’

‘You pushed me away...’

"He pushed me away," Mac said out loud. Totally engrossed in herself, Mac never heard Renee approach.

"Well at least I’m not the only one."

Hearing Renee’s voice Mac was immediately concerned. "Renee, is he alright? Is Harm okay?"

With a bitter smile, Renee spilled all of the frustration that had been building inside her for months. "You know, I really hate you, Mac. Do you want to know why," Renee asked , not really wanting an answer. "Because no matter what happens he’ll always be yours. Even though you had Mic, you always still had Harm." Pausing she tried to swallow the emotions that were threatening to choke her. "I thought that after you married Mic I would still get my miracle. But, do you know what I realized tonight? He’d do anything for you and he always will. He’ll always be yours. I never had him, not really."

"Renee, I..."

Silencing Mac with her uplifted hand Renee continued. "Let me finish, Mac. There has always been a part of Harm that I could never touch, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t touch it because it was only for you. Only you can touch the real Harmon Rabb." The tears were now falling uncontrolled. "The thing is, Mac, he owns my heart. I can’t just let him go. Not until he tells me to go. I have to believe. I have to believe that the last year and a half meant something to him."

As the silence hung between them, Mac was at a loss. There was nothing Mac could say to the woman in front of her to ease the pain. Finally, Renee spoke.

"Well, come on, Mac. We need to get back upstairs, he may need us." Without looking at Mac, Renee stood and walked away. Slowly, Mac stood. She understood Renee. Mac knew what it was like to love Harmon Rabb and know that you couldn’t have him. No one knew the pain the other woman was going through better than Mac. Even though she still couldn’t bring herself to like Renee, Mac now had a new respect her. Placing her ring in the front pocket of her jeans, Mac picked up the tray of barely eaten food and tossed the remains in the can by the door.

Renee was right. She needed to get back upstairs in case Harm needed her. Walking down the corridor, a new resolve came over her. Mac knew Renee would fight to keep Harm, however, Mac was not about to give him up without a fight. Feeling better about their situation for the first time in what felt like years, Mac walked over to the elevator and waited.

BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL

11:30 EST SATURDAY, MAY 26

ROOM 213

AJ made his way down the hall to Harm’s room. Mac, Renee, and Bud and Harriet had been asleep for about five hours now. Everyone was exhausted. AJ was tired as well, but wanted to check on Harm one more time before he left. Pushing the door open, AJ entered the dark room. The blinds were closed, allowing little light to penetrate the small area. As AJ approached the bed, Harm’s lashes fluttered open.

"Sir," Harm barely whispered.

"How are you doing, Son?"

"I’ve been better, Sir."

"Yeah, you took quite a beating out there. But the doctor says your going to be fine."

"Yeah." Harm lowered his eyes, unable to meet AJ’s gaze. "How is Mac?"

‘Mac, not Renee. That’s interesting,’ AJ thought to himself. "She’s fine, Harm. She’s finally asleep out in the waiting room, but that’s only because I made it an order," AJ chuckled. "They would have had to put her in the bed next to you if she hadn’t gotten some rest." Sobering, AJ continued. "She took all of this pretty hard, Harm."

"I know."

"When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and tell her you love her?"

Harm’s shock was evident. Sputtering, he answered, "Well, uh, Sir, for one thing the Colonel is marrying another man..."

"No, she isn’t."

"What?"

"I said no, she isn’t."

"Sir?"

"Look, Harm, I am going to give you some advice. Whether you chose to follow it is up to you. God, knows it hasn’t worked in the past. I’ve grown very fond of you over the last five years, come to think of you almost as a son."

"Thank you, Sir."

"However you have got to be one of the stupidest, pig-headed, fools I have ever seen when it comes to that woman out there. I have sat by and watched you blow one chance right after another with her. Now, hell, you’re both so screwed up only God knows how to fix all of this," AJ took a calming breath. "You’ve wasted so much time and damn it, Harm, time almost ran out on you last night. You have spent your whole life moving away. It’s time to move forward. You have to make it right again." Reaching down, AJ clapped Harm lightly on the shoulder. "Talk to her, Harm."

Harm nodded in understanding. Walking away, AJ stopped and turned around when he reached the doorway. With a broad smile on his face, AJ added. "Oh, yeah, one more thing, Harm."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Our old Mac is back. Just remember, don’t ‘duck’, take ‘cover’."

"You mean after she gets done with me, I’m going to wish they had left me to the elements?"

"Let’s just say the elements were probably easier on you than Mac is going to be."

"Thank you, Sir. I’ll remember that. I’ll remember everything you’ve said."

With that, AJ turned and left Harm alone. Harm turned back to look out the window, searching for answers he knew he wouldn’t find. The rain was still coming down, but had slowed to a steady shower. However, the storm was still raging inside of Harm. The Admiral’s words came flooding back to him. ‘She’s not getting married? Why wouldn’t she be getting married? I’m going to be fine, there’s no reason she would have to post-pone.’ the thoughts ran rampant trough his aching head. The thought that she had not gotten married because she cared for and wanted HIM, was too much to hope for. After she had pulled away from him at the engagement party, he had given up all hope of a future for them. The final nail in the coffin had come when he’d made that stupid comment about her needing him at the wedding to make it work. God, the look on her face! He had felt like such an ass.

"I am an ass," he muttered to himself.

"Yes, you are."

Harm’s head whipped around at the sound of her voice. Walking slowly toward him, Harm noticed the dark circles under her beautiful brown eyes. She looked so tired. "You should still be resting, Mac. You look awful."

A giggle escaped before she could catch it. "I look awful? That coming from the man laying in the hospital with broken ribs and bruises everywhere."

Smiling his best "flyboy" smile he replied, "Well I’m being taken care of. Who’s going to take care of you, Mac?"

Mac glanced down at her ring-less hand then back up into his now serious eyes. "I don’t know, Harm. Do you? Because, I heard once, that when you save a person’s life that makes you responsible for them."

"Yeah, I do recall some wise man saying that once."

"Wise man, huh? Yeah, real smart guy. Flew through one hell of a thunderstorm and almost died."

"I had a promise to keep," he whispered.

"Oh, Harm. I would rather have had you here alive than risk what you did to be here."

"I didn’t considerate it a risk," he countered softly.

Fresh tears sprang to Mac’s eyes. Again she picked up his hand and held it tightly. Harm finally noticed the missing ring on her left hand.

"You’re missing something on your left hand there, Mac."

"Really? What would that be?"

"Mac, what happened?"

"Remember that question you asked at the Admiral’s party? The one I told you , you didn’t get to ask?"

"Yes?"

Taking a deep breath she continued, "I don’t love him, Harm." Mac looked away, "Not the way I should. Not enough to spend the rest of my life with him."

"Mac, I can’t say I’m not happy that you aren’t marrying him."

"Why, Harm? Tell me why."

"Because...Because I..."

"Harm, you’re awake!"

Looking over Mac’s shoulder, Harm saw Renee walk into the room and walk toward them.

‘At least he didn’t pull away from me this time,’ Mac thought miserably.

Walking around to the other side of the bed, Renee saw their joined hands. Finally she found her voice and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Slowly and reluctantly, Harm let go of Mac’s hand and turned to face Renee. "I’ll be fine. I’m feeling a little better. Although, I still feel like I’ve been hit by a truck."

Nodding slowly, Renee watched as Harm looked away, his gaze focusing again on Mac.

As Mac stared back at him, the emotions that played over their faces was enough to cause Renee to look away. Noticing the movement, Mac decide it was time to leave them alone.

"Well, I should let you two be alone," Mac spoke while starting to back away from the bed.

"Mac, are you leaving me?" The desperation in his voice caught Mac by surprise and Mac was sure it didn’t go unnoticed by Renee.

"No, I’m not leaving. I promised I would stay, remember? I’m just going back out to the waiting room and keep Bud and Harriet company. I’ll let them know how you’re doing."

"Okay, Mac."

"Alright, Harm."

Harm watched her walk out the door. He couldn’t explain it, he was just desperate for the sight of her. Ever since the crash, when his body had hit the icy water, all he wanted to do was see her one more time. He thought he would never get the chance; his time had run out. Now all he wanted to do was look at her, hold her hand, make sure he would never loose her again, ever.

"Harm?"

Pulled from his thoughts he looked back at Renee. She looked so sad.

She knew.

But he still owed her an explanation. "Renee..."

"You know, Harm, I asked you a question once. You never gave me an answer. Are you in love with Mac?" Looking him straight in the eyes she demanded his answer. "Is she your dream girl, Harm?"

Not wanting to hurt her, he knew he still had to do this. "Yes."

Renee’s eyes fluttered closed, tears spilling onto her cheeks. "Damn you, Harm."

"Renee, I am so sor..."

"Don’t! Don’t say it! I don’t even want to hear you say you’re sorry." Pacing back and forth she continued. "Why couldn’t you tell me this when I asked before? Why did you let me fall completely in love with you before lowering the bomb on me. Christ! We were together a year and a half, and you were in love with her the whole time, weren’t you? Weren’t you?"

"Yes."

"I can’t believe this. All of it was a lie with me. All of it! Tell me, were you thinking about her when we were making..." Renee stumbled over the word, "when we were having sex?"

"Renee..."

"Oh God, you were! I have to get out of here."

"Don’t, Renee, wait. Let me explain..."

"Now you want to talk? I don’t think so, Harm. I really don’t want to hear anything you have to say."

And just like that it was over. As much as he hated to hurt her, Harm couldn’t help but feel like a weight had been lifted off of him. But, things were still far from being settled.

"You are such an ass, Rabb," he muttered again to himself.

BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL

"How is he, Ma’am?"

"He’s fine, Bud," Mac answered looking over at a still sleeping Harriet. "You really ought to take Harriet home. Both of you need to get some rest. By the way, I just wanted to say thank you for taking Chloe home with you last night. I hope your mother-in-law didn’t mind looking after both her and little AJ."

"Oh, it’s no problem, Ma’am."

"Bud, please, for the love of God. Please, please call me Mac."

"I’m sorry. It’s just such a hard habit to break. We just have so much respect for you and the Commander that..."

"I know, Bud, but we’re friends, too. Just try will you?"

"Yeah, we’ll try."

"Thanks. Now when Harriet wakes up you should be able to see him if you’d like. Renee is in there right now, but I’m sure she wouldn’t..."

The rest of Mac’s sentence was cut off by Renee’s steady approach.

"Renee, what’s wrong? What’s wrong with..."

"Nothing’s wrong with him that you can’t fix. I’m leaving. Remember all of that crap I said down stairs about fighting for him? Well forget it. He isn’t worth it!" Renee looked over at Bud and Harriet, who was now wide awake. "It really has been nice knowing both of you. You are both incredible people." Looking back at Mac, the contempt was back in her eyes. "But as for you, the one thing I did say down there that I meant was this: I really do hate you, Sarah Mackenzie. I hope I never see you, or him," she said, pointing toward Harm’s room, "ever again. You deserve each other. You are both absolutely pathetic!" Spitting the last out, Renee turned and walked over to the elevator.

Mac sat completely stunned. Even when Harriet tried to get her attention it took awhile to get through.

"Mac? Mac? Are you okay?"

Vaguely, Mac heard Harriet calling her name. "I’m sorry, Harriet. What did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay."

"Oh, yeah. I’m fine," Mac murmured distractedly. ‘What the hell just happened? One minute she’s never giving Harm up without a fight, the next minute she’s throwing him to the curb. I don’t get it,’ the thoughts raced through Mac’s mind.

"Mac, maybe you should go check on him. He probably needs you," Harriet made another attempt to get through to Mac.

Mac was furious! ‘How could she just leave him? I would never...’

"Yoo hoo? Hello? Mac!"

"Oh, Harriet, I’m sorry. Look, why don’t we all go see him. I’m sure it would cheer him up to see you guys," Mac answered although she could barely focus on the couple in front of her. Her thoughts were with the man down the hall.

Bud and Harriet just exchanged a look that said ‘Yeah, right! I’m sure he’d rather have us cheer him up.’ But then both looked at Mac and said, "Sure. Why not?"

That decided, all three got up and walked down the hall to Harm’s room.

Knocking on the door, Bud entered the room followed by Harriet. Harm looked over and seeing his friends, he smiled in greeting. Neither failed to notice it didn’t quite reach his eyes, that is until he saw Mac.

‘God, she’s beautiful,’ Harm thought to himself. ‘Why have I never told her that?’

As if reading his thoughts, Mac graced him with a brilliant smile of her own.

They were going to be just fine.

BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL

17:30 EST SATURDAY, MAY 26

Mac finished helping Harm into the clothes Harriet had brought from Harm’s apartment. ‘Ever efficient Harriet,’ Mac thought with some amusement.

"Hey, what are you smiling at?"

Harm’s deep voice cut into her thoughts. It was still raspy from the sea water, but it still sent shivers down her spine. After composing herself, she answered, "Well, I was just thinking about how efficient Harriet is. She took Chloe home, grabbed your clothes and then mine before heading here, and managed to call your mother to let her know what was going on."

"Wow, I totally forgot about Mom. She told her though? That I was going to be alright?"

"Yes, she told her everything was alright. I would have done it myself, but all I could think about was getting to you, being there for you. I had to make sure you were really..." Her hand went to his cheek, caressing it. "I would have missed your face. I didn’t think...I..." Choking on a sob, she couldn’t continue.

"Hey," he whispered softly, covering her hand with his. "Like I said, Mac, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck looking at my face for a long time yet." Taking her hand in his, he brought it to his lips, gently kissing her palm. "We have a lot to talk about, Mac."

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Mac replied, "Yes, we do. However, we need to get you home first. We can talk there because I have a lot to say to you, and I have a feeling it’s going to get a little too noisy for the hospital."

"Alright, just be gentle, Marine. In my weakened condition..."

"Weakened condition my ass. You are going to get an ear full, Harmon Rabb, and if you think just because..."

Harm watched in rapt silence as Mac continued to rant about kicking his six once they reached his apartment. He had missed this spunky side of her. It had been a long time since they had even acted like they cared for one another. He was going to milk it for everything it was worth. Mac helped him stand, helped him into the wheelchair the nurse had brought, and then wheeled him to the elevator. She was STILL talking, never breaking stride even after they had finally entered the small compartment.

As the car made it’s slow decent, Harm knew he had to do something to shut her up. Mac never saw it coming when Harm yanked her arm, which sent her sprawling right onto his lap. At her yelp of surprise, he couldn’t hide his satisfied smile.

"Harm, you’re hurt. I’m too heavy..."

Her protests were cut off by Harm’s lips on hers. The kiss was gentle at first. All Harm wanted to do was taste her. Too soon, it grew into something both knew had to be stopped before they lost control. Slowly, Harm pulled away. The intensity in his eyes made Mac swallow audibly.

"Harm..."

Harm placed his fingers on her lips to silence her protests. "Shh. I’ve been wanting to do that since that night on the Admiral’s porch. Actually, I’ve been wanting to do that for as long as I can remember."

The chime signaled their arrival and the doors slowly slid open. Reluctantly, Mac removed herself from Harm’s lap. If it were up to her, she would have chosen to stay there forever. She also knew, however, there was still too much that needed to be said, too much to be done before they could take that next step. Walking behind him, Mac pushed the wheelchair through the automatic doors of the hospital and down the walk to the car. They had secured a rental to make the trip home. Making sure he was settled, she got in, started the car, and headed for home.

HARM’S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

It had been a long ride home, made mostly in silence. But it had been a comfortable silence. Harm had dozed most of the way home. He felt so weak. Now that everything was semi-settled, he felt like he could sleep for days. He knew they still needed to talk, but maybe he could persuade her to wait long enough for him to get some of his strength back.

After finding a place to park, Mac came around to help Harm out. He was exhausted, sore, and needed to rest. ‘Our talk can wait until later,’ Mac thought to herself. Putting an arm around his waist, Mac helped him into the building and into the elevator. They stood, huddled together, holding one another. Harm never wanted to let her go. But as the car reached their floor, the managed to make it into the apartment without too much trouble.

"Alright, Commander, here’s the deal: drugs, hot shower, food, bed. Non-negotiable. Now, move it."

Smiling slightly, Harm’s response was immediate, "Yes, Ma’am."

"Wow, no argument? Must have knocked some sense in to you after all."

"It did, Mac."

The seriousness of his answer had its desired effect on Mac. "Go shower, Harm. I’ll make you something to eat," Mac countered quietly.

"Alright."

Mac watched as Harm slowly made his way toward the other room. She could tell he was hurting and wished there was some way to take the pain away. As before, guilt washed over her. It was all her fault, even if Harm had tried to convince her otherwise. Looking at him again, she noticed him stop and grab his side. Immediately, she was across the room and at his side.

"Harm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m great. Just really hurts. My side."

Not even talking in whole sentences, it was almost as if coherent thought was too much of an effort. Wrapping her arm around his middle, Mac did her best to be careful of his broken ribs. His arm went around her shoulders for extra support. The fact that it also gave him a chance to touch Mac was just an added bonus.

"Come on, Squid, let’s get you in the shower."

The mental picture of him and Mac in his shower made his mouth go dry and rendered him speechless. All, he could manage to do was nod. Tentatively, they started to move again, leaning on each other as they went. Mac hid the small smile that threatened to play at her lips at the look on Harm’s face just now. She knew what he had been thinking: her, him, the shower. When the mental picture finally hit her too she couldn’t help the heat that flamed her cheeks and infused her body. Pushing the thoughts aside, she did her best to bring her body under control. Now was not the time. It was unthinkable for a number of reasons, the biggest reason being Harm was in no condition to be doing anything that...strenuous.

Maybe someday...

HARM’S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

An hour later Harm was clean, drugged, fed and ready for bed. Aside from the actual shower and dressing, Mac had helped him with everything else. Every time he had turned around she was there; with his medicine, with food, with hot tea. Her maternal instincts had kicked into over-drive. Harm couldn’t help but think, not for the first time, what an incredible mother she would be to his children, their children.

"Why the dreamy look in your eyes, Flyboy?"

Startled out of his thoughts, Harm recovered quickly and looked into her eyes. "I was just thinking about what a great mother you’re going to be."

Mac sat there stunned, her mouth gaping. Of all the things she had been expecting, that revelation was not among them. Looking into his clear blue-green eyes she saw straight into his soul, and was amazed at what she saw there.

Sitting down next to him on the bed, she now had no idea what to do next. Words eluded her. It didn’t matter because Harm made the next step for her.

"Mac...I know things have been...bad between us for a long time. I also know that it’s mostly my fault." Before she could utter a protest, Harm effectively cut her off. "No, let me finish. You mean so much to me, Mac. More than anyone has ever meant to me. I’ve been such a fool. I don’t even know where to begin making things up to you." Taking her hands into his he continued, "I know you felt like I was pushing you away in Australia, that I didn’t want you, that I didn’t want us. That wasn’t it at all, Mac. I wanted us too much. We just weren’t ready. We were too far apart to come together then. Ever since I had went back to flying there was a wedge between us. That’s what I was trying to tell you on the ferry but, as usual, nothing I say to you comes out right. I hurt you and I never meant to do that. Then when you came home, sporting Brumby’s ring, I figured I had completely lost my chance. I’m so sorry, Sarah."

Mac started at his use of her given name. He so rarely called her ‘Sarah’ it still shocked her to hear it. Mic had always called her Sarah, but when Harm said it was special. It also meant he was serious. Her resolve to set things right came flooding back.

"Harm, it’s my turn to say some things, and I want you to listen and not interrupt until I’m finished, okay?" At his nod she forged ahead. "First, I want to say I’m still mad as hell at you for scaring me to death. I could have lost you forever, Harm, and that is unacceptable. I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I don’t want a life without you in it." Hesitating for a moment she finally continued, "I had realized some time ago what you had really meant to say in Sydney, but by the time I had figured it out, things were so ridiculously out of control. You were serious about Renee and I had Mic."

Quietly, Mac started into one of the hardest speeches of her life. "Harm, Mic said all the right things, all of the things you didn’t. I had words, real words, real promises to base my future on. Everything he did, he did it just for me. He made me feel special. You took me to a crime scene. Mic took me to a fancy dinner and bought me a ring."

Taking a deep breath, she ventured on. "I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but damn it, you’ve never shown any interest in me, Harm. How was I supposed to know you wanted more? We’ve been together for five years and in all that time you have never looked at me as a woman. I’ve always been the ‘buddy’; a ‘good’ friend. I’ve done everything I can think of to get you to see me as more than a friend or a partner. I’ve worn lingerie, string bikinis, evening gowns, even went almost topless for Christ’s sake, and still couldn’t get you to look twice at me. Mic wanted me, you didn’t. I just wanted..." Mac tried to swallow the lump in her throat, "I just wanted to feel wanted. That for once in my life I was worth something more as a woman, and not just a lawyer or a Marine. Harm there’s no Mic and Renee anymore, but there is no ‘us’ either. I want my friend back first. I want the closeness we had before you went to fly. I want our trust back. We have to have that back before we can move on. I may trust you with my life, but I still don’t know if I can trust you again with my heart."

Sighing, Mac finished, "Now, having said all of that, let me also say this: I do want a future with you, Harm. However, you are going to have to convince me you want it too. I’ve tried to be the one to move us along and I am tired of pushing. If you want this, you are going to have to be the one to pursue it. I can’t keep setting myself up to hurt. I’ll give you time and I’ll give ‘us’ time. I’ll wait, but Harm, I don’t want to wait forever."

Mac was exhausted. Once she had started, the words had tumbled out and she hadn’t been able to stop them. Looking up at Harm for the first time since starting her side of their talk, she wasn’t prepared for the sight before her. Harm looked like he had just had a bomb dropped on him. So many emotions were crossing his face, and Mac was racing with them, trying to keep up. Fear, shock, wonder, and then finally settling on confusion. Not with her but with him. Finally, he looked up into her eyes and, as if seeing her for the first time, just stared.

When his voice began to work again, all he could do was stammer, "Mac, I...I don’t know what to say. I’ve always...been attracted to you. I can’t ever remember a time when I didn’t want..." Realizing he was about to say too much too soon, he changed tactics. "Alright, Mac, friends first. But someday...someday I’m not going to be satisfied with being ‘just friends’. I’ll make things up to you, Mac. I’ll show you how wrong you are about what I wanted for us all along. I’ll make it right."

As hope slowly seeped back into her heart, it’s bright light lit up her once dark world. "I believe you, Harm. Now, it’s time for bed, Flyboy."

"Don’t I get a ‘Good Night’ kiss?"

"Harm, I thought we just agreed to take things slow."

"One kiss, Mac. Who knows when I’ll get to do it again. Please."

Between his wounded puppy dog eyes and his patented "flyboy" grin she could never refuse him before, and this was no exception. "Alright. One kiss, and then it’s to bed with you."

"Okay, Mac."

After what seemed like forever, Harm finally closed the distance between them.

Continue to Another Chance