| Summer Series 2002: The Prequel How Spike did it...Or my version of the newest Fed-X commercial. By Onos |
| Disclaimer: Obviously, Spike doesn't belong to Onos. Spoilers: For "Grave." Archive- Please email request to Kuzibah, who will pass it along. Feedback- Absolutely. ******************* Scene: Two men eating lunch (BTVS fans feel free to add your own favorite visuals to go with the text) . Man 1: "There was this guy in this really complicated relationship." Man 2: "Complected?" Man 1: "You know the kind...Fire and Ice...oil and water...she's on a mission from God and he has a chip." Man 2: "A chip" Man 1: "A chip" Man 2: "On his shoulder?" Man 1: "Close...but let's not lose the narrative here...He's in this relationship but it's driving him crazy...Finally he's had enough so he books...He jumps on his Triumph 750 and heads south. Two hours later he finds himself in the middle of downtown LA at 3am, running on fumes and without a clue as to what he's going to do next... You see he's heard of this guy who may be able to solve all his problems but he's in...Get this!...He's in Africa. Man 2: "Africa?" Man 1: "Africa...The problem is our boy has no way of getting there." Man 2: "LAX is closed for fumigation?" Man 1: "Well our man has one other little problem. Man 2: "Another problem" Man 1 "Light sensitivity." Man 2 "He's an albino?" Man 1 "Something like that...the point is he can't stand direct sunlight and Africa is what...24 hours away, so the airlines are out...Then it hits like a neon sign!" Man 2: "An Epiphany?" Man 1: "No...A neon sign...on the front of a Fed-X 24 hour service facility... "Guaranteed Next Day Delivery" Problem solved...He sells the bike...he steals a well furnished packing crate from a homeless person living under the freeway...Fills out the paper .work and hires a couple of kids to deliver him to Fed-X...24 hours later he's delivered directly to his business associate's cave" Man 2: "Cave?" Man 1: "Alright...24 hours later he's delivered to his business associate's environmentally neutral low impact abode dwelling where he has time to take in an art exhibit before meeting his...ah...Man...and closing the deal that he's sure will solve all his problems. Another happy ending thanks to "Fed-X Guaranteed Next Day Delivery!" Man 2: "The box!" Man 1: "What about the box?" Man 2: "How did he breath inside the box?" Man 1: "In his case...not an issue." Man 2: "So, no ill effects?" Man 1: "Absolutely none...except for a minor infestation of body lice who soon lost interest and left and the lingering tang of muscatelle which eventually faded." Man 2: "So everyone lived happily ever after?" Man 1: "Don't bet on it!" Return to the Annotations Main Menu ~ Return to Summer Series 2002 Menu |