ParadiseCity3

Disclaimer: All characters, except for Johnny York, are property of BTVS. Johnny York is my own creation. I have fictionalized much of the worship of Cybele and Attis; no offense is meant to those who actually profess that religion.

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[Cut to inside facility number five. Oz leads the way, with Buffy just behind looking at the plans, and Johnny bringing up the rear. Oz turns to his left.]

Oz: She�s this way.

Buffy: I don�t think you can go this way for very long. I think we have to go right, then right, then right again to get left.

[A gun-toting guard appears behind them.]

Guard: Don�t more or I�ll shoot.

Johnny: Oh that�s so clich�.

[Johnny reaches out his arm, and the gun flies from the guard�s hand into his. He then uses the pistol to rap the guard on the head. After the guard falls unconscious, Johnny returns to the others and peers over Buffy�s shoulder.]

Johnny: Let me see. I read an article in Time that said men were better at reading maps.

Buffy: If you hadn�t knocked the guard unconscious, we could have beaten the directions out of him.

Johnny: I don�t need to ask for directions. See here. We go right, then right, then right, and that�ll get us left.

Oz: (forestalling Buffy) Let�s just go.

[They go right, then right, but before they can go right again ,they are stopped by a cadre of guards holding guns. Johnny points the original guard�s gun at his own head and pulls the trigger. Before the bullet hits him, it falls harmlessly to the floor. Frightened, the guards drop their guns and back against the walls of the corridor. As the gang runs past, Johnny turns to the terrified guards.]

Johnny: Stay. Good dogs.

[He runs off. Together with Buffy and Oz, he turns right, and they stop, waitin gfor Oz to determine their next move.]

Oz: Down.

Buffy: (looking at the plans) I don�t see stairs.

Oz: (to Johnny) So, you�re bulletproof?

Johnny: No. I knew it was coming, so before it hit me, I made it fall. It�s all about mind control.

Oz: Why are you helping us?

Buffy: I found them. They�re in the far corner. We have to make a left, three rights, two lefts, and a right.

Johnny: (looking at the map, confused) I�ll take your word for it.

[They, again, run off, snaking around corners, heading for the stairway. They reach it without interruption and start heading down, one flight, two flights, three flights. The stairway ends.]

Johnny: Is this the bottom?

Buffy: No, the stairs continue in another corridor. Straight, right, left, left, right, left. Hey, I�m getting pretty good at this.

Johnny: How much father down?

Oz: I don�t know. I lost the scent on the way to the stairwell. Let�s go.

[They go straight.]

Johnny: Does anyone else expect the minotaur to be around the next corridor?

[They go right.]

Buffy: Does anyone else think Carmina Burana should be playing in the background?

Johnny: What�s Carmina Burana?

Buffy: Do you live in a cave?

Oz: It was written by German composer and music teacher Carl Orff for the 1936 Berlin Olympics. However, the Nazi leadership disapproved of its decadence. Nevertheless, it was subsequently banned in the US for twenty years because of its connection to Nazism. Recently, it had undergone a resurgence because of its popularity in the film industry.

[The go left.]

Johnny: (sarcastically) Of course, that clears everything up.

Buffy: It goes, �Bum bum bum bum (pause) bum bum bum bum (pause) bum bum bum bum buuum bum bum.�

Johnny: (still sarcastically) Oh that�s so much better. The bum-bum song. How could I have missed it?

Oz: It�s in Excalibur, just after Arthur becomes king and rides to the rescue of Guenivere�s father or whatever.

Johnny: (recognizing it) Oh the bum-bum song. It�s in The General�s Daughter during the cat scene.

[They go left.]

Buffy: Was it any good?

Johnny: Not really. They kill off the most interesting character forty-five minutes into the movie.

Buffy: The general�s daughter?

Johnny: No.

[Oz stops. Buffy and Johnny stop.]

Oz: She�s right around here. But upstairs.

[They turn around and go right, right, left, straight and back up the stairwell, just one flight this time.]

Buffy: (exiting the stairwell) This floor?

Oz: I don�t know. We have to get closer.

Buffy: On this floor, if we go left, left, right, left, we should get somewhere near where we were downstairs.

[They follow Buffy�s instructions. Once they make the required turns, Oz stops.]

Oz: She�s on this floor. Behind the wall.

Johnny: Where�s the front of the cell?

Buffy: I can�t tell.

Johnny: I think I can break through the wall.

Buffy: That�s, uh, concrete, and pretty thick, judging from the plan. No matter how hard you punch, you�re only going to shatter every bone in your hand. Ethan really was the brains of the operation, huh?

Oz: The ceiling.

Johnny: I could bust through the plaster. Buffy, give me a boost.

[Buffy cups her hands, and Johnny steps up. Before she knows what he�s about, he wraps his legs around her neck and sits on her shoulders.]

Buffy: Oooph.

Johnny: (knocking on the ceiling) Even better, it�s dry wall. Whoever said government contractors cutting corners was a bad thing.

[He breaks through the ceiling with ease, grabs the support beams, and pulls himself up. Buffy cups her hands to lift up Oz. Johnny then reappears through the hole and reaches his arm down for Buffy and pulls her up.]

[Cut to Willow�s cell. She�s still unconscious and hooked up to an iv. Oz is the first to crash through the ceiling, followed by Buffy and Johnny.]

Oz: Good god. What have they done to her?

[Oz kneels down by Willow�s side and strokes her hair. Applying pressure to her wrist, he removes the IV. Johnny reaches down and rips off her ankle monitor, setting off the alarm.]

Johnny: Let�s go.

[Buffy jumps through the hole in the ceiling and pulls herself up. Oz carefully hands Willow to Johnny, who lifts her up to meet Buffy�s outstretched arm. Buffy pulls Willow through the hole.]

Buffy: (off) Okay, she�s up.

[Johnny gives Oz a boost, and Buffy pulls him through. Johnny jumps up after.]

[Cut to outside the facility. A dozen guards, alerted by the alarm rush to the doorway. Giles emerges from behind a dumpster.]

Giles: (pointing in the distance) They went that way�big, green, slimy buggers.

[All of the guards, save one, chase after the imaginary demons. The remaining guard, a striking, thirty-something female, watches Giles closely.]

Guard: I don�t know you.

Giles: I�m an assistant to Joyce Summers.

Guard: Yeah, right. Give me a nickel for every hellbeast that said that, and I�d be a rich woman.

[Cut to a corridor inside the facility. Johnny points down one corridor, as Buffy, who supports Willow, points down the opposite. Oz stands in the crossfire.]

Buffy: It�s this way.

Johnny: It can�t be �cause I know it�s this way.

Buffy: The map says this way.

Johnny: Then you�re reading it wrong because it�s this way. We came left, so we have to return right.

Buffy: We came right, so we have to return left.

Oz: We�re lost.

Johnny: Where�s Ariadne when you need her?

Oz: If you follow one wall of a maze, it will lead you to the exit.

[Oz jogs down the right corridor running his hand along the wall. Johnny runs after. Buffy scoops up Willow into her harms and follows the boys.]

Johnny: (running) I should really carry Willow. I don�t need my hands to fight.

Buffy: (running) I�ve got her, no problem.

Johnny: (still running) I still think it would be better if I carried her.

Buffy: You�ll tear you stitches.

[Cut to outside the facility. Giles and the guard fight. Giles, heavier and stronger, enjoys the advantage even though is strength wanes. The woman catches him off guard and knocks him unconscious with the butt of her gun. Oz, Johnny, and Buffy, with Willow, burst through the door. One look from Johnny sends the guard flying into the dumpster. He picks up his unconscious father, potato sacks him, and runs off with the others.]

PART FOUR
[Inside Johnny�s mansion. Agents of MUAC search relentlessly through Johnny�s belongings. A burly agent comes out of the bedroom waving a videotape.]

Agent: Hey, Sarge, he�s got a copy of the original Irene Dunne Back Street. Do you know how long I�ve been looking for this? (misty) When they go back at the end and show her making the meeting, I just can�t contain myself. (sniffle)

Sarge: I hear you. Margaret Sullavan, Susan Hayward were great, but they were no Irene Dunne.

[Cut to the Summers� home. The gang enters. Johnny dumps Giles� body on the chair.]

Johnny: No more bangers and mash for you, old man.

[Buffy lays down Willow on the sofa. Lifting up Willow�s head, Oz sits and rests Willow�s head in his lap.]

Johnny: Ack. I think I tore my stitches. Get me some water, okay, babe.

[Buffy trots off to the kitchen.]

Buffy: (off) Can�t you just heal yourself?

Johnny: I�m not a priest of Asclepius.

Buffy: (returning with a glass of water) Of course, how stupid of me. (looking at the water) Why did I get this?

Johnny: (grinning) Because you live to serve me. You just don�t know it yet.

[He takes the glass from her throws the water in Giles� face.]

Johnny: (cont�d) Rise �n� shine, Sleeping Beauty.

Giles: (wiping his face) I�m up, just resting my eyes.

Buffy: I think the word you�re looking for is �unconscious.�

Giles: Oh, my head. Where are we?

Buffy: My house.

Johnny: Don�t worry. We won�t tell anyone that a girl beat you up.

Giles: What is the matter with Willow?

Buffy: We found her like this. They had her hooked up to an IV.

Oz: Why would they do such a thing?

Giles: Because her powers are in her mind, not her body. To allow her freedom of the mind would be dangerous. It would threaten their whole project, so they had to destroy that freedom, and that requires more than just imprisonment.

Buffy: How do we get her back?

Giles: From what you�ve told me, it sounds like she was drugged. She should wake up when it wears off. (pause) Is you mother home?

Buffy: I think she�s asleep. We just got in.

Giles: Good. We have to get the supplies for the ritual, and I left my books at Johnny�s.

Johnny: You�re gonna have to make due without them; my place is crawling with MUAC.

Buffy: That�s why we�re here.

Giles: Damn. (pause) Damn.

Buffy: What�s in the books?

Giles: The ritual, which I can recreate, but also the invocation.

Buffy: Do you know it?

Giles: No, not wholly.

Buffy: Do you know the gist?

Giles: Possibly. But these magics are powerful. I don�t want to put Joyce in any danger. (he takes a breath) Here�s what we are going to do. Oz, take my car. Go to Harry�s Slaughterhouse. It should just be opening, and pick up my order. Then, go to the store and get two, no better make it three ears of corn. Buffy, take Willow to the shower and see if you can wake her up.

Oz: Could Buffy and I switch? I�d prefer to stay with Willow.

Giles: Sorry, I once gave Buffy a driving lesson; my car still pulls to the right.

Buffy: It wasn�t my fault. That minivan came out of nowhere.

Giles: It was parked�in the owner�s driveway. Johnny, wake up Joyce and persuade her to help us. I don�t care how you do it. Buffy, could you get me some paper and something with which to write. I shall try to reconstruct the invocation.

[Cut to Joyce�s bedroom. She�s sleeping fitfully on the bed. After a soft knock, the door opens and Johnny enters. He takes off his shoes and climbs into bed, wrapping his arm around her.]

Johnny: (softly) Joyce.

[He gently shakes her, and she starts awake.]

Joyce: Buffy! No! Johnny, oh. I had the dream again.

Johnny: Shh. It�s okay. Buffy�s okay.

[He kisses her deeply.]

[Cut to the Summers� upstairs bathroom. The water in the shower already runs as Buffy removes Willow�s shoes and socks.]

Buffy: Sorry about the clothes, Will, but this isn�t a women-in-prison movie.

[Buffy pulls Willow fully-clothed into the shower.]

Buffy: (cont�d) Ooh, cold. C�mon wake up.

[She begins to lightly slap Willow�s face.]

[Cut to the back door of Harry�s Slaughterhouse. Oz takes a bag from a gruff-looking butcher.]

Butcher: I don�t get much call for goat�s blood. I�m afraid it�s gonna cost a little extra.

Oz: We�re taking a Russian cooking class.

Butcher: Boy, I�ve lived in Sunnydale all my life. The only thing that would surprise me is if you actually were taking a cooking class. I�ll put it on Mr. Giles� tab.

[Cut to the shower. Buffy slaps Willow more vigorously now with no response.]

Buffy: Willow, time to get up. The frogs are coming.

Willow: (suddenly wide-eyed) What?!

[Cut to Joyce�s bedroom. The light is on, and both Joyce and Johnny, although in bed, are dressed.]

Johnny: Don�t be such a Nurse Ratshit.

Joyce: You have no idea what it�s like to live with the kind of fear I do. You can�t understand the good MUAC is doing.

Johnny: You think I don�t know what it�s like to live with fear. Try being fifteen, homeless, and alone in New York with sweaty old men shoving twenties in your back pocket. I know all about fear. But I didn�t start MUAC as a solution to the world�s problems �cause it can�t solve everything it can�t get rid of fear. It can only create new things to fear. Look at me, Joyce. Stopping MUAC is the right thing to do.

[Cut to the kitchen. Giles sits scribbling at a legal pad with dozens of yellow wads of paper surrounding him. Buffy, having changed her clothes, helps Willow, wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe that looks even fuzzier on her, into a kitchen chair.]

Giles: Willow, how are you doing?

Willow: Do you want to buy a flower?

Giles: Oh dear. I had hoped she would be cogent enough for the ritual.

Buffy: She�s still woozy, but I think she�s getting better.

[Johnny and Joyce, still in her pajamas and carrying an elaborate first aid kit, enter the kitchen.]

Joyce: Take off your shirt and lean on the counter.

[Johnny does as he�s told, and Joyce wets a towel and threads a needle.]

Johnny: I did my part. How�s the invocation coming?

[Giles brings the legal pad over for Johnny to look at.]

Giles: (pointing) Do I want �tay,� �tas,� or �tan� here?

Johnny: It�s Greek to me. Just kidding. I crack myself up. You want �tan.� Hey, the little witch is back.

[Joyce removes a particularly bloody dressing on one of Johnny�s wounds and begins to clean it with the towels.]

Joyce: You should be on antibiotics, and you need a tetanus shot. Buffy, get me some matches from the junk drawer.

[Buffy opens a drawer and starts to sift through its contents. She pulls out some matches and tosses them to Joyce.]

Willow: Buffy?

Buffy: Did you want something, Willow?

Willow: Where are my clothes?

Buffy: Drying on the shower rod.

Joyce: (lighting a match and sterilizing the needle) You should put them in the dryer, honey. Here hold this closed.

[Buffy holds Johnny�s wound closed as Joyce stitches it up.]

Buffy: So are you going to help us?

Joyce: Johnny says it�s the right thing to do.

Willow: How did they get wet?

Buffy: In the shower.

Willow: Oh.

Giles: There�s no time to explain everything, Willow, but we need your help. I�m told you can summon three of the four elements. I need to know which three.

Willow: Earth, wind, and fire. Oz insisted I learn those first.

[Giles breathes a sigh of relief.]

Willow: (cont�d) Where is Oz?

[Oz enters the kitchen carrying the bags of blood and corn, which he drops on the floor upon seeing Willow. He runs over to her and kneels before the chair and begins to kiss every inch of her face.]

Oz: You�re okay?

Willow: I�m not sure. I don�t really know what�s going on.

Joyce: All closed.

[She applies clean gauze and tape to the wound.]

Giles: Are you ready, Joyce?

Joyce: As I�ll ever be.

Giles: You should get up on the counter.

[He picks up the bags Oz dropped, grabs two ears of corn, and unwraps them from the husks.]

Giles: (cont�d) Lie down.

[Joyce lies down, and Giles hands her the corn, one for each hand.]

Giles: (cont�d) Cross your arms. Just lie there. We�ll do the rest. Willow, are you ready?

Willow: For what?

Giles: Sorry, we need you to raise the earth.

Willow: Oh, okay.

[She takes her place at the end of the counter by Joyce�s feet. Giles stands at the other end.]

Giles: Johnny, you know how to do the taurobolium?

Johnny: Not without a sacrifice.

Giles: Take the blood and pour it over her�head to toe.

Joyce: (dismayed) What?

Giles: Don�t worry about a thing.

[He begins to recite his lines off the legal pad. Willow begins her spell. Johnny starts to pour the blood over Joyce.]

Joyce: Try not to splatter a lot. I�m going to have a hard enough time getting it out of the grout as it is.

[Cut to the waterfront near the Paradise facilities on a new day. Several wrecking balls wait to demolish the buildings. A speakers platform has been constructed nearby. Joyce stands at the podium giving a speech to a large crowd.]

Joyce: Today marks a new beginning for Sunnydale. We can�t let the mistakes of the past get in the way of our future. We can�t let our fear get in the way of our freedom. We can�t afford to become our own demons. As mayor, I won�t promise to make Sunnydale completely safe. But I can promise that I will make Sunnydale safe from Sunnydale.

[Johnny, standing slightly off the podium, mouths the words of a speech he, undoubtedly, wrote. He yawns and checks his watch. He slips away from the podium and walks into the construction area. Willow, Buffy, Oz, and Xander walk among the buildings. Giles stands farther off, taking pictures. As Johnny gets closer to the group, he turns invisible.]

Xander: Fifteen more minutes. You couldn�t have liberated us fifteen minutes later. I was just getting somewhere.

Buffy: (to Willow) I can�t believe you didn�t tell me about�you know.

Willow: It was kind of nice keeping it private.

Buffy: But you told Xander?

Willow: I didn�t tell Xander. He entered my room at an unpropitious time. We have a new rule.

Xander: Keep a knockin� or I can�t come in.

Oz: My mom�s a little upset that she didn�t get to become a goddess.

Buffy: She had her chance. I couldn�t believe she wouldn�t help.

Oz: Oh, I understand. She takes her bike seriously.

Xander: So are we bronzing it tonight?

Buffy: I can�t. Patrol beckons. This is the first time I�m happy that I have to patrol.

Willow: So, is Johnny going to stay in Sunnydale?

Buffy: Who knows. Giles hopes so. So does my mom.

[She makes a face. They walk off toward Giles.]

Buffy: (cont�d) What�s with the pictures?

Willow: This is the last place I want to remember.

Oz: I second that.

Giles: The pictures? (smiles bitterly) Lest we forget. Lest we forget.

[Just out of earshot, Johnny, still invisible, kicks a can out of the way.]

Johnny: (quietly) I have to go. But I�ll be back soon enough.

[Not hearing Johnny�Giles, Xander, Willow, Oz, and Buffy continue to walk ahead.]

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