| Gerundive By Kuzibah |
| Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Evil Fox. No copyright infringement is intended or implied. Rated R for language. Fifth in the Graffiti series. The first four parts are �Future Imperfect,� �Past Tense,� �Predicate,� and �Indefinite Article.� Follows one day after �Indefinite Article.� It�s about four years on. Buffy is dead, and Spike has moved in with Angel to work on his� you know� the �R� word. Gerundive: �expresses the fitness or necessity of the action to be performed� Feedback: Please? ******************* Spike waited patiently, Wesley�s bed-stand balanced on his shoulders, as the ex-Watcher tried to decide where he wanted his furniture placed in the hotel suite. Between moving Spike into new rooms (installing blackout curtains, laying on a fresh coat of dark gray paint- more vampiric- and scrounging furniture high and low) and moving Wesley out of what had been Cordelia�s rent-controlled apartment and now was again (bed, cabinets, dressers, and a library�s-worth of books), the blond vampire was too tired to even complain (and brother, *that* was tired). And they still had to haul the Prom Queen�s crap out of the basement and drive it back over to her apartment. �There, under the window,� Wesley said, and Spike dropped his burden with a crash. �Carefully,� Wesley added a second too late. Angel entered with the mattress and the springs and set them into place. �I think that�s the last of it,� he said. �Right,� Gunn said. �Cordy�s things next?� �Can we just rest a moment,� Wesley said, sitting on the edge of the bed. �That sounds good,� Angel said, and he and Gunn collapsed into chairs while Spike slumped to the floor. The four sat in companionable silence for several moments before Spike finally spoke. �So, the whole happiness thing,� he said. �What�s that about, exactly? Is it just shagging, or shagging a certain girl?� Wesley was scandalized. �What sort of question is *that*?� Angel stayed the outburst with a raised hand. �It�s okay,� he said, then to Spike, �I think it�s a combination of things. It�s a curse to make me suffer, to remember my evil deeds with shame. And when I forget, even for a moment, the curse is lifted.� �Why would the Gypsies do something so stupid?� Spike asked. �I don�t know,� Angel said. �Whatever their reason was, I don�t understand it.� �Actually,� Wesley chimed in, �several experts in Gypsy magick on the Watchers� Council had a theory about that. They think that clause was the loophole that made the curse work. You see, if they�d made your soul permanent, the energy needed to maintain the spell would have been too great. So the so-called �happiness clause� was a way to balance the cosmic books.� The ex-Watcher reddened slightly as he realized Angel was watching him with an astonished and mortified expression. �Of course, it�s just a theory,� he mumbled. �So� do you think it could happen again?� Spike pressed. �I mean, now that you know, do you think you�d feel happiness that completely again?� Angel�s expression grew thoughtful. �I�ve asked myself that question,� he said. �Especially as I�ve found myself attracted to different women over the years. And while I know it�s not sex, per se, I�ve never wanted to risk it with someone I cared about.� �What brings up this line of questioning?� Wesley asked. �Why the interest?� Spike shrugged. �No reason.� Angel stood up. �What do you say we get Cordy�s things,� he said. �The night only has so many hours.� - - - - - - - - - - It was close to sunrise when they returned to the hotel. Spike was so tired he barely made it to his room, and Angel heard him hit the bed without even stopping to undress. �Goodnight, Wesley,� Angel mumbled as he reached his own door, but was halted by the ex-Watcher clearing his throat. Angel tried not to let too much of his irritation show as he turned. �Might I speak to you a moment?� Wesley said. Angel stepped aside and let Wesley proceed him into the rooms. �I found Spike�s questions to you this evening very curious,� the Englishman said when they were both seated in Angel�s parlor. �Do you have any idea why he might have asked them?� Angel glanced away, then back. �Yes, I do,� he said. �But it�s not something that needs to be brought into general discussion just yet.� Wesley looked a bit nervous at his next thought, but he took a breath and went on. �I know from my research that the Sire-Childe bond can be very intense, and that sometimes� an intimate relationship develops. I�m concerned that Spike might want to re-kindle�� Softly, Angel began to laugh. �I�ve� I�ve embarrassed you,� Wesley said, getting to his feet. �I�ll just�� �Sit down,� Angel told him, still chuckling. �I am just constantly amazed at the misinformation you Watchers perpetuate among yourselves.� He cleared his throat and began to explain. �You�re right, the Sire-Childe relationship can be, um� carnal in nature, and I don�t fool myself, Wesley. Darla made me into a vampire because she was attracted to me and she was lonely. That she and I made such good companions for one another, and that I showed a certain� ambition was her good fortune. Then I made Dru. When I� bedded her it was only to victimize her, torment her. And she was so mad she came to crave it.� Angel sighed sadly, then continued. �It was sick, depraved, but so was I. Spike� I didn�t make Spike. Dru saw something in him I never would have. He had this� spark. The same aptitude I had. I taught him, brought him up. Punished him when he needed it. But that kind of affection was never there.� �I�m sorry,� Wesley said. �I shouldn�t have�� He broke off into uncomfortable silence, then began again. �So why was he asking those questions?� Angel squeezed his eyes shut and massaged his brow with his fingertips. �It has to do with what happened at Caritas last night,� he said. Wesley looked confused. �The Host told you something about your soul?� �No, not my soul,� Angel said. �Spike�s soul.� �Spike�s�� �He said Spike could never feel fulfilled helping others unless he was cursed as I was.� �Of course,� Wesley said. �It�s so obvious. We should have done it long ago.� The Englishman rose to his feet. �I�ll call Giles first thing in the morning. I�m sure he and Willow still�� �No, Wesley�� �And the Watcher�s Council. They can assist us in the translation. We can remove�� �Wesley!� Angel said sharply, stopping the younger man�s monologue. �It has to be his decision.� �What? Why?� Angel took a deep breath. �Spike, the human Spike� William� was very different from me. He was this sensitive, gentle person. A bit of� a bit of a puppy, actually. When I was alive I was coarse, uncaring, and the enormity of what I�d done when I was cursed almost killed me. If we brought back William�s soul against his will� It would be a great cruelty, believe me. Even knowing the alternative, I could never do that to another vampire. He�d be better off dust.� Wesley looked stunned. �I�ve� I�ve never heard you speak so frankly before,� he said. �I didn�t realize your soul was such a burden.� �Don�t be so dramatic,� Angel said. �Remember, you�ve only known me a few years. I had almost a century alone before that.� �Well, I can understand your feelings,� Wesley conceded. �Although I do believe the correct thing to do in this circumstance is to try to convince Spike to allow himself to be cursed.� �I�m not going to pressure him,� Angel said. �He has to make this choice himself.� �Very well,� Wesley said. �But I would point out that in one way Spike will have an advantage that you did not.� �And what�s that?� �You had to suffer alone,� Wesley said. �He will have you.� The ex-Watcher gave a slight nod. �Goodnight, Angel.� And he left the vampire to his thoughts. - - - - - - - - - - Cordelia�s homecoming was a joyous one. The men and vampires had done their best to restore her apartment to the way it had been, and had informed Dennis and the various neighbors in the building that she was not, in fact, dead after all. One friend, Bill, who had found out the truth about her secret life a few years before, had even offered to help by stocking her kitchen with a few basic items to tide her over until she felt up to shopping on her own. Wesley had been very grateful for this, since it had never occurred to him. When Angel brought her home that evening, it was as if she�d only been gone a few days. Well, with the exception of the uncomfortable presence of Spike. Cordelia did not say, �what�s he doing here?� though she thought it, and was pleasantly surprised to find Spike was being nice, polite even. Or maybe he was just being quiet. �So, tell me what�s been going on in your lives?� Cordy entreated Gunn and Wesley. Wesley looked a little embarrassed. �Not a whole lot of anything, really,� he said. �We�ve been rather busy�� Spike, sitting a few feet away, looked surprised. �Haven�t you been seeing some bird for about a week now?� he said. �Spike!� This was Angel, and he gave his childe a hard look. The younger vampire, to everyone�s surprise, looked suitably chastened. �Sorry,� he mumbled. �Didn�t realize it was such a big secret. I just thought no one was telling me, as usual�� �Wes, you old dog,� Gunn teased. �You�ve been holding out on us.� �No,� Wesley said, blushing. �She�s just� shy. And I didn�t want to introduce everyone until it was a bit more established.� �So what�s her name?� Cordelia said. Wesley lowered his eyes. �It�s Asha Patel,� he said. �She�s the curator of Eastern Antiquities at UCLA. We met� ah�� �When we fought those Indian demons that came through last month,� Angel supplied. �I thought that scent was familiar.� Wesley turned bright crimson. �Oh, for God�s sake,� he burst out. �Why don�t I just send you two a report so you won�t feel the need to literally sniff out my every liaison.� Angel turned his eyes, embarrassed. �I�m sorry,� he said. �I didn�t mean�� �It�s not like that, you pillock,� Spike said defensively. �It�s not our fault everything you do seeps into your skin.� �Guys,� Cordy said. �Chill, already.� �Yeah,� Gunn agreed. �It doesn�t ma� ma...� The young man fell forward, upending the coffee table and scattering the dishes over the floor. Angel and Wesley were at his side in an eyeblink, supporting him and lifting him back onto the couch. �Guess that answers that question,� Spike said under his breath. �Oh, my God,� Cordy cried. �It�s a vision. He had my vision.� �Yeah,� Gunn said breathlessly. �And can I just thank you for that.� �What did you see?� Angel prompted. �The Modrak clan,� Gunn said. �They�ve grabbed another kid.� �Where?� �At a hotel on Frederick. Lots of banana trees all around.� Angel stood up. �Let�s go.� Gunn followed him to his feet. �Angel,� he said. �The kid. She�s a fire-starter. Be careful. And the Modraks? They�ve got humans working with them now.� �Modraks?� Cordy said. �Who are these Modraks? What kids?� �A powerful demon clan,� Wesley explained as they prepared to go. �They�re abducting youngsters with psychic gifts just before their powers emerge. We thought we�d weakened them enough last time.� �They hired reinforcements,� Gunn said. �Let�s go.� - - - - - - - - - - �Do we have a plan?� Spike said softly when they reached their destination. �I thought we�d go in, grab the kid, and kill as many as we could on the way out,� Angel said. Spike spun his short-sword in his hand. �Works for me,� he said. �Me, too,� Gunn agreed. �That makes it unanimous,� Wesley said. �Spike, you find the girl and get her out,� Angel said. �If there are humans�� �Yeah. Got it,� Spike cut him off. �Let�s go,� Wesley said. - - - - - - - - - - Within ten minutes they�d hacked their way through six Modraks. During a momentary lull, Gunn pointed out a door. �Through there,� he said. �Got it,� Spike said, breaking from the group and slipping through. Within it was dark, and even with his vampiric eyesight, it took Spike a moment to adjust. On a narrow bed, tied with rope and gagged with a knotted rag, was an African-American girl, about nine years old. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the vampire, and Spike realized she�d been in here long enough for her eyes to adjust, too. �It�s okay,� Spike said gently. �I�m here to help you. My friends and I are going to rescue you.� He sat on the edge of the bed. �Are you okay?� The girl regarded him warily, then nodded. Spike reached for the gag and the child flinched away. �Easy,� he said. �I�m going to take this off, but I don�t want the bad guys to know I�m in here. If I take this off, can you be quiet?� The girl stared wide-eyed, then nodded again. �Good girl,� Spike said, undoing the rag. �What�s your name, little bit?� he asked when it was gone. �Marlys.� �That right?� Spike said as he went to work undoing the ropes. �You�ve got the same name as the little girl in that comic in the L.A. Weekly. Were you named after her?� Marlys gave a small shrug. �You ever read that comic?� Spike said. �There�s a little girl about your age who�s really clever, and she has a brother and sister� you know it?� �I�m not allowed to read that newspaper,� Marlys said. �My gramma says it�s dirty.� Spike smirked. �Yeah, I guess it is,� he said. He helped the girl sit up. �Alright,� he said, �we�re gonna get out of here now. I�m going to pick you up and we�re all going to run for it. Understand?� Marlys nodded. Spike backed up to the door and creaked it open. The fight outside was mostly done, just a little cleanup of the last few scumbags. Spike lifted Marlys into his arms. �Close your eyes, dove,� he told her. �No matter what you hear don�t open them again till I tell you, okay?� The girl shut her eyes tight and nodded. Spike strode quickly through the room, stepping over the fallen bodies of Modraks and humans alike, out the door and into the hallway without breaking stride. He moved towards the exit to the parking lot, silently entreating Angel and the others to follow. He pushed open the fire door. A man with a gun stepped in. �Taking our little prize?� he said. �Your partners are dead,� Spike informed him. �Now let us by.� �I don�t think so,� the man said, grabbing hold of Marlys�s arm and yanking her away. The girl fell to the floor, barely managing to get on her feet. �You�re gonna regret that, mate,� Spike said. The man fired point-blank into Spike�s chest, knocking the blond vampire back against the wall. Marlys began to scream, a high-pitched sound like a siren. Spike lunged at the man with both fists, connecting with a hideous crunch. The man doubled over and Spike howled in agony as the chip set off a responsive jolt. �Spike!� he heard Angel�s voice shouting, then saw the older vampire running down the hall to take the man apart, but not before he unloaded three more rounds into Spike�s torso. Spike slumped to the floor, the pain turning his vision black. - - - - - - - - - - Six hours later Marlys had been returned to her gramma, and bullets had been dug out of Spike�s and Angel�s bodies. Now the younger vampire was bandaged and tucked in bed, while his Sire hovered nearby. �Wesley�s heating some blood for us,� Angel said. �We need to�� �I know,� Spike said. �Will you sit down already?� Angel sat on a red crushed-velvet chair that Spike had found in one of the crowded storage rooms. �I�ve been thinking a lot about what happened at that karaoke bar,� Spike said. �Me too,� Angel said. �When you got your soul,� Spike said, �was it like becoming human again? Did you go back to the way you were before?� �No,� Angel said. �It was� well at first it was very confusing. I remembered everything, all at once. Every single person I�d ever killed. I mean, you know what I did. Except suddenly, it mattered. I felt remorse for the suffering I�d caused.� He shook his head. �I know it�s a joke to everyone. �Oh, Angel�s all brooding and filled with guilt.� But all those people, for all those years. There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of some innocent I�� He raised his head and looked Spike in the eye. �But no. I didn�t become Liam again. Liam didn�t take anything seriously, least of all himself. I became something else. Being a vampire changed me, but I think for the better.� �Liam,� Spike repeated. �Was that your name? Before?� �Yes.� �I� you never told me that,� Spike said. �He was dead,� Angel said. �I became Angelus, and who I was before didn�t matter.� �It was the same as my name,� Spike said quietly. �What?� �Liam. It�s the Irish form of William. My name.� Angel chuckled lightly. �I never thought of that.� He regarded Spike thoughtfully. �When Dru first made you, she called you the son I never had. I don�t think I ever told you that, either.� �You didn�t,� Spike said, then smiled ruefully. �Poor, mad Drusilla. Only she would have turned me.� �Don�t say that,� Angel told him. �Please, Angelus,� Spike said. �Back in the day, you wouldn�t even have bothered to kill me. God, what a pathetic human I was.� �I don�t know why Dru picked you,� Angel admitted. �And you�re right, I wouldn�t have. But for all our conflicts over the years� there were many times I wish I had sired you. One of them was tonight, in fact.� Spike grinned at this, turning away, embarrassed. �I know I should regret the death of the human you were,� Angel went on. �And I do regret the lives you took, both at my side and in the century I was apart from you. But when I saw you carrying that child, I was proud to call you one of mine.� Spike glanced back at Angel from beneath lowered lashes. �I�m ready,� he said, so quietly even Angel barely heard him. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. �I�m ready,� he repeated. �Call Rupert or the witches or whoever and just get it done.� �Are you sure about this,� Angel said gravely. �Once it�s done, there isn�t any going back.� �It�s the only way,� Spike said. �Even if I got rid of the chip� I�ve been changed. I need something to fill this emptiness.� Angel nodded slowly. �Okay,� he said. The door creaked open and Wesley entered with a tray. He handed a mug to each vampire. �How are you feeling?� he asked. �Better,� Spike said, and Angel gave him a hard look. �Would you excuse us a minute,� the older vampire said, rising to his feet. �Wesley, could you come with me?� �Yes, of course,� the Englishman said, tucking the tray under his arm and following Angel to his own quarters. �It�s about Spike,� Angel said as he closed the door. �Yes,� Wesley said. �I surmised as much.� �He wants to go through with it,� Angel explained. �The curse?� Wesley was visibly surprised. �Yes. I need you to get in contact with Giles and Willow. Perhaps the Watchers� Council. See what we need to do it, and if they�ve been able to find out anything new about it.� �I have to admit,� Wesley said,� I never thought he�d go through with it. I may have been misjudging him.� �One last thing,� Angel said. �Have you any ideas about getting Spike�s chip removed?� The silence that descended over the room was almost heavy enough to see. When Wesley spoke, it was a horrified scream. �*What?!* Have you gone insane?� �I�m not going to cripple him that way,� Angel said firmly. �He�ll have more than enough to deal with when his soul is restored. I don�t want him defenseless, too.� �Has it occurred to you that his agreeing to be cursed is simply a ploy to have his chip removed?� Wesley said. �And if Spike had suggested it, I might be suspicious,� Angel agreed. �But he didn�t. Nor have I suggested it to him. This is my decision, Wesley.� The ex-Watcher took a deep breath and let it out slowly. �Alright,� he said. �I see your point. But in all honesty� do you think there�s a chance he�ll take the opportunity you�re giving him and go back to his killing ways?� Angel gave a small smile. �Well, there�s always a chance,� he said. �But I don�t believe he would. Not anymore.� �Very well,� Wesley said. �How to get it removed, though. The Watchers would never agree, of course� a past client, perhaps? Or do we know anyone who might know someone�� - - - - - - - - - - �Phalanx International. Edina Nigam�s office.� �Yes, may I speak to Ms. Nigam, please?� �May I have the name of your account, sir?� �Angel.� �Angel�� �Just Angel. In Los Angeles. She�ll know who I am.� �Please hold, sir.� A much less business-like voice picked up. �If it isn�t my favorite client,� Edina said. �It�s good to hear from you again, Angel.� �You wouldn�t believe the hoops I had to jump through to reach you,� Angel said. �Congratulations on the promotion. Vice-President of Regional Sales. Very nice.� �Please,� Edina said. �What I wouldn�t give to be back in R&D most days. So how are things going with you?� �Well, you remember Cordelia, my associate?� �Yes,� Edina was suddenly serious. �Can I just say again how sorry�� �No, no,� Angel said quickly. �It turns out she didn�t die.� �Wonderful,� Edina exclaimed. �Oh, wait, she isn�t�� �No. Completely alive. She was kidnapped by these giant spiders�� �Wonderful,� Edina repeated. �Please don�t tell me about the giant spiders, okay?� Angel chuckled softly. �Okay,� he said. �How can I help you today?� �Well, I was hoping you could put me in touch with one of your other clients. You see, my youngest, Spike, was captured about five years ago�� - - - - - - - - - - Spike looked around the hospital as he followed Angel down the long, white corridor, wary and uneasy. �Angel, what the hell are we doing here,� he finally hissed. �I found a doctor who might be able to remove your chip,� Angel said. Spike skidded to a halt. �No,� he said. �Tried that. Didn�t work. Now let�s get out of this fucking place before I lose what little mind I have left.� �It�s okay,� Angel said. �I talked to him. He wants to help. I�ll be with you.� Spike began backing away when a door opened nearby. A man in his forties stepped out. �Are you Angel and Spike?� he asked. Angel extended his hand, trying not to notice his childe edging around so as to put the older vampire between himself and the human. �Yes. Are you doctor Petty?� �Yes. You�ve arrived just in time. The X-ray is all set to go.� He gestured to the room behind him. �Come on in.� Spike continued to back away, emphatically shaking his head, forcing Angel to practically man-handle him into the room. Dr. Petty approached them, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. �Just relax, Spike,� he said soothingly. �I just want to take a few pictures of your brain. See if we can spot that chip.� With Angel�s silent urging, the younger vampire allowed himself to be led to the machine and X-rayed. Dr. Petty removed the plates from the machine. �I�m going to develop these,� he said. �Just have a seat and relax.� When they were alone, Spike allowed his emotions to spill forth. He clutched Angel�s hand, pulling him towards the door. �Let�s go,� he said. �Please, you don�t have to do this. It doesn�t matter. Let�s just get out of here. Please, Sire, don�t make me stay.� �Spike,� Angel said calmly. �Get a hold of yourself. What�s wrong?� �I don�t *trust* doctors, Angelus,� Spike growled. �Every time one pokes my brain, I�m fucked.� Angel pulled Spike to him in the most overtly affectionate gesture he�d shown his Childe in� well, ever, now that he thought about it. He held Spike tightly, not letting him squirm away, and stroking his hair as one would a frightened child. �It needs to be done, Spike,� he said, his voice low. �You need to be able to fight. To take care of yourself. If you still want to be cursed, that is.� �I do,� Spike affirmed without hesitation. �Then this is necessary,� Angel said. �I�ll be right her with you. I�ll protect you. I wouldn�t have brought you here if I didn�t trust this man. Okay?� Spike took a shuddering breath. �Okay.� - - - - - - - - - - �Hand me that clamp,� Dr. Petty said to Angel, then explained, �the top row of instruments. The one that looks like a scissors.� Spike was lying face down on the operating table, and the surgeon was working through a hole in the vampire�s neck. The X-ray had revealed that, contrary to Spike�s belief, the notorious chip was located at the base of his skull, with probes spider-webbing into his brain and spinal column. The blond had muttered something about treacherous Army doctors and half-witted bints that Angel hadn�t quite followed, and had then allowed himself to be prepared for the operation. �This is extraordinary,� Petty said under his breath. �There�s almost no blood flow at all.� �We haven�t eaten since yesterday,� Angel said. �And without a heartbeat, well�� Petty reached into the incision with the clamp and a small tool that reminded Angel uncomfortably of a dental drill. There was the whine of the electrical motor, and some smoke that Angel told himself was normal, and the doctor pulled the tools back out. �Got it,� he said triumphantly, dropping the bean-sized device into a glass tray. �Let me see it,� Spike said, his voice slurred from the anesthetic. Petty held the tray down where the younger vampire could see it. �That�s good,� Spike mumbled. �No pennies. Now close me up.� Petty removed the retractors, watching in amazement as the tissues began to knit back together even before he could stitch them closed. �How are you feeling, Spike?� he said loudly. �Are you still with us?� �If I weren�t, mate, the pile of dust on your nice linoleum floor would be tipping you off.� Petty chuckled as he pulled the last of the sutures closed. He turned to Angel. �Judging from what I�ve just seen, I can probably take those out tomorrow,� he said. �That will be fine,� Angel said, and he helped Spike down from the operating table. �Thank you for everything.� - - - - - - - - - - The last of Spike�s anesthesia was finally wearing off as they arrived back at the Hyperion. �So how will this work,� he asked Angel. �Dr. Petty will come by tomorrow and take your stitches out,� Angel explained, �and then tomorrow evening we�ll perform the curse.� �So who�s gonna do it?� Spike said. �You? Or Wesley?� �We�ve been in contact with Willow and Giles,� Angel said. �I expect them to arrive sometime tonight.� They entered the hotel�s lobby, and there was Giles in conversation with Wesley. �Or they�re already here,� Angel said. The Watcher turned to the new arrivals. �Angel,� he said, pleased. Beyond him, on the sofa, two women stood and faced the vampires. �It�s good to see you,� Willow said. Behind him, Angel heard his Childe swallow hard. �Dawn,� Spike said. �I didn�t know you were coming.� - - - - - - - - - - The last surviving �Summers Woman� walked lightly around Spike�s apartment, stroking the tips of her fingers along the edges of the furniture while the vampire lit the dozens of candles that filled the rooms. �It�s still a bit empty,� Spike said apologetically. �I haven�t had much�� Dawn had stopped at a framed sketch, the room�s only decoration. Spike bit his lip and took a breath before speaking. �Angel drew that,� he said. Dawn examined the items on a shelf below the portrait, arranged there like offerings: dried flowers, more candles, a small blue perfume bottle, and a charm bracelet loaded with tiny hearts. �I thought it was his,� Dawn said. She turned back to Spike. �So,� she said, �are you really going to get cursed?� �Yep. I�m gonna be soul-boy, junior,� Spike said, trying to sound jaunty and nonchalant and failing miserably. �Are you going to be different?� Dawn asked. �Like Angel?� �I don�t know,� Spike admitted. �Probably some. But the important things will stay the same. I�ll still care about you.� �I don�t want to think of you sad all the time� Dawn said. �Not eating or having any fun.� Spike took the girl�s hands and looked steadily into her eyes. �In case you haven�t noticed,� he said, �I�m not exactly living La Dolce Vida now.� Dawn lowered her gaze. �I know,� she said. �And this is probably for the best. Just promise me you won�t change too much.� Spike pulled her into an embrace not unlike the one Angel had given him earlier. �I promise, Pumpkin,� he said. He held her a moment more, then let her go. �And anyway,� he told her, �I have the chip out now, so I�ll be one up and one down.� �So you can hurt people?� Spike seemed to realize this fully for the first time. �Yeah, I guess I can,� he said. �Have you tested it?� Spike smirked. �What do you suggest?� he said. �Going down and punching Wesley?� Dawn rolled her eyes and held out her arm. �Give me a pinch,� she said. Spike hesitantly took a bit of flesh between his fingers and tweaked it. �Did that hurt you?� he asked. �A little,� Dawn said. �Not me,� Spike said, and burst into a grin reminiscent of the Spike Dawn used to know. �Pinch a little harder,� she said. �Just to make sure.� - - - - - - - - - - �Angel?� Willow called from the lobby balcony. �Where did Spike go?� �His room is on the same side as mine,� Angel said, �just past.� �I looked there,� Willow said. �Dawn�s missing, too.� �Oh, no,� Wesley said. �Don�t jump to conclusions,� Angel said, running up the stairs. �It�s a big hotel. Spread out. They�re here somewhere.� - - - - - - - - - - Twenty minutes later, it was clear they were nowhere in the building. �His Desoto is still here,� Angel said. �He couldn�t have gone far.� �Yes,� Wesley said. �He could be turning her in any of the buildings in the immediate area.� �Wesley, you take Willow and go north,� Angel said. �I�ll call Gunn and then Giles and I will�� Angel�s search plan was interrupted when Spike and Dawn walked in the front door. �Dawn!� Willow said. �Where did you go?� �Spike and I went out for some ice cream,� Dawn said. �Did something happen?� �It�s very dangerous to wander off this time of night,� Giles said sternly. �Spike was with me,� Dawn said. �Why didn�t you tell us you were going out?� Willow asked. �Cause then you�d all want to come,� Spike said around the cigarette clenched in his teeth. �And me and the niblet wanted alone time.� �Didn�t it even occur to you what we might think?� Wesley said angrily, and the expression on Spike�s face showed that, no, it had not occurred to him. �I would never�� he said, then he advanced on Wesley. �Is that what you thought? You bastard! I would die for her!� Angel stepped between the two. �Enough,� he said. �Look. Everyone calm down. Let�s find rooms for all of you so we can get some sleep.� �Yes,� Giles said. �That�s an excellent idea.� - - - - - - - - - - �Are you alright,� Angel asked Spike as the younger vampire paced around his apartment. �Yes� no�� Spike shrugged. �I don�t know what I am.� �Look,� Angel said. �I�m sorry about Wesley. He can be�� �Forget it,� Spike said shortly. �That�s the least of my concerns.� Angel sighed. �You�re thinking about the curse.� �Of course I am,� Spike snapped. �And stop getting all doe-eyed and maudlin about it. I�ll be okay.� �I know you will,� Angel said. �I just wish I could�� There was a knock at the door, and Spike crossed to open it. �Only one A.M. and the place is deserted,� Cordelia said brightly. �Things really have changed since I�ve been gone.� �What do you want,� Spike said, not entirely unkindly. The girl stepped into the apartment and lowered herself into a chair opposite Angel. She directed her gaze at Spike until the vampire dropped his eyes uneasily. �I wanted to tell you what a brave thing I think you�re doing,� she said. �I knew I wouldn�t get a chance to tomorrow, when everyone is here, but I thought you should know you have my support.� �Don�t need your support,� Spike mumbled. �You will,� Cordy said, unfazed by Spike�s sullenness. �I�ve held Angel�s hand enough times, I know.� Spike shot a glance in his Sire�s direction to find the older vampire regarding him with the same direct gaze. �Thanks,� he said. �I guess we�ll see.� �And I�d be happy to start with your wardrobe,� Cordelia said. �Maybe a soul will change *your* fashion sense, unlike Mr. Monochrome here.� �Hey!� Angel said, even as Spike began to chuckle. �Oh, no, you should have seen him before,� Spike said. �What he used to spend on clothes in the 19th century, well�� �It would have made you look positively thrifty, Cordy,� Angel said, joining in. His voice took on a soft brogue as he added, �and we didn�t even have Neiman-Marcus back on the old sod.� Spike chuckled louder. There was another knock at the door. Spike opened it to admit Dawn. �Hey,� she said. �I couldn�t sleep, and I figured you guys were up because, you know, vampires. Hi, Cordelia.� �Hey, Dawn,� Cordy said. �We were just discussing the fashion ruts certain undead Americans get into.� Dawn looked at the two vampires and smiled. �I don�t have a problem with it,� she said. �I mean, it�ll always look good on you, so�� �See,� Spike said. �A reasonable voice in this conversation.� �Of course, the no-reflection thing can be a problem,� Dawn said. �Not for me,� Spike said, and Dawn looked away guiltily. �Wait,� he said. �What�s the matter? Do I have something on my teeth?� �Well�� Dawn hesitated. �It�s your hair.� Spike�s hand went up self-consciously to touch the top of his head. �What�s wrong with it?� �How long has it been since you touched it up,� Dawn asked. Spike bit his bottom lip. �A few weeks before�� �Well, you�ve got two-tone hair, now,� Cordy said. She turned to Dawn. �What do you think? Should we run out to the all-night drug store and pick up some Miss Clairol?� �No, wait,� Spike interrupted. �I don�t want�� He took a deep breath. �I�m done with all that. Cut it off.� Cordelia shook her head. �I was only teasing you,� she said. �We can worry about it later. It�s okay, really.� �No,� Spike said firmly. �I�m going to be renewed. I shouldn�t look like the Big Bad. Get your shears, or whatever.� �Okay,� Cordy said. - - - - - - - - - - �Are we still going to call you Spike?� Dawn asked when the vampire was a much more natural blond and tufts of yellow-white hair drifted on the floor around him. �I don�t know,� Spike said. �I�ve been that for so long now.� �We�ll have to see,� Angel said, speaking for the first time since they�d begun cutting his Childe�s hair. �You really won�t know, until�� Cordy took her soft-bristled brush and ran it quickly over Spike�s head. �I wish you could see yourself,� she said, �because you look very sharp, sir.� Spike smiled shyly. �What do you think, pet?� he asked Dawn. �You look different,� she said seriously. �But I like it. It suits you.� - - - - - - - - - - Spike woke to find Dawn gently shaking his shoulder. He brushed the back of his hand across his eyes. �Is it sunset already?� he said. �Yes,� Dawn said. �They�re ready for you.� Spike rose and followed the girl down to the lobby where Willow and the two Englishmen had arranged the necessary items. �Last chance,� Willow said. �You�re sure about this?� Spike nodded, looking to where his Sire stood by the wall. The older vampire was unmoving, and would have seemed indifferent had Spike not been among those who knew him best. �Hand me the orb,� Giles told Wesley. �Wait,� Spike said suddenly, and all turned to him. �Do I have to be here?� he asked, his voice trembling a little. �I mean, with Angelus� If I have to stay here and watch this� I can�t�� The last was a pained whisper, and then Angel was moving towards him. �No, you don�t have to,� he said. �Come on.� Angel half-led, half-carried Spike back to his room, and a few moments later Cordelia and Dawn joined them. �Lie down,� Angel said, guiding Spike to the bed. �I�m� I�m sorry,� Spike said. �I�m� I�m such a disgrace�� �No,� Angel said firmly. �You�re not.� Spike turned to the women. �Have they started? I feel�� �They must have by now,� Cordy said. �Try to relax if you can.� Spike reached out and took Angel�s hands. �I feel like I�m dying,� he said. �I�m here for you, my Childe,� Angel said. �Yes, it feels like fear, I know. Hold on.� Spike turned his head quickly, taking in everyone in the room. �No,� he said. �This is wrong. I shouldn�t be�� Dawn was suddenly kneeling beside him, her hands on his shoulders, holding him still. �You can do it,� she said. �Buffy always said you were the strongest, most stubborn bastard of a vampire she�d ever met. You can face this.� Spike was suddenly calm. �The Slayer said that?� �Yes,� Dawn affirmed. �You *have* faced death. Many times. You can survive a soul.� Spike squeezed his eyes shut, hissing in a sharp breath. �You always knew what to say, niblet,� he said. �Thanks.� �You always knew what to say to me, too,� Dawn said. �I�m just returning the favor.� Spike opened his eyes and smiled gently. �You�ve so much of your mother in you. And your sister, too. I�m glad you decided�� Spike went stiff, his eyes focusing into the distance. A strange golden light went through them. �Is this it?� Dawn whispered. �I think so,� Angel whispered back. Spike blinked. He turned to Angel and reacted instantly, scooting back on his hands and feet until he hit the headboard, his eyes wide. �It�s okay,� Angel said soothingly. �It�s me. I�m here. You�re safe.� And Spike looked very young and very small as his gaze traveled from face to face, his blue eyes filling with tears. �Angel,� he said, his voice breaking. �I didn�t know.� And he fell into his Sire�s arms and sobbed. Go to part 6 - P.O.V. Main Menu ~ Return to Graffiti Series Menu |