1. Never do anything. If you wait around long enough, someone else will do it.
2. Dont move. Moving is overrated.
3. Never run. Running is the worst thing you can do. I had to run once..big mistake.
4. If something is not in your reach, you dont need it. Before you get up to get something across the room next time, think. Do you really want to get up and walk all the way there and all the way back to get it? Yea I know. I felt stupid for moving all those times.
5. Dont have an opinion. Opinions are thoughts, and thoughts are work.
6. Dont work. Working is for suckers. Be a CEO if you can, they never do anything.
7. If you have to move, fuss about it. Make it well known that you're pissed off because you have to move. Sigh a lot. Drag your feet and arch your back at 60 degrees (bad posture helps you to confirm to the shapes of couches when you sit down, and it makes you look tired).
8. Sleep as much as you can. Contrary to common sense and popular belief, sleeping is very productive.
9. Dont talk. Talking requires the movement of ur jaw...way too much work.
10. If you have to work, do a half-assed job at it. Example: If you have to rake leaves, push them out into the road or into your neighbors yard. If you have a riding lawn mower, run over them a few times until the pieces are small enough to hide in between blades of grass.