| throughout my walk with Christ up to this point i have come to realize what a good friend He is. this world is a very lonely place. even for a christian. especially for me. too many times i look for companionship in people. i am usually very disappointed with the results. but whenever i turn to Christ i am always fulfilled and content. but as humans i think He realizes our need for human companionship and touch. something we can't get with Him because He is a spiritual being. it's not the same. once we're heaven i assume it will be like human companionship here only a thousand times better. there just isn't anything quite like standing in a crowd of people and feeling totally alone. it makes a person feel extremely sad. so many people now...if they don't know you and you say hello...they just look at you and don't even acknowledge that you've spoken to them. makes me wonder what the point is in saying hello or anything anymore. as time goes on...this place just gets more and more destitute. the worse it gets...the more alone i feel. the quieter my world gets. sometimes that quiet is good and sometimes it's not. as a general rule...people don't call me, come see me, write to me. many times i am forgotten or not wanted i guess. even my own family never really comes to visit. or even asks if they can. it makes me feel like they have no desire to see me. when someone comes along that does genuinely care and wants to be around me...it freaks me out. i don't know how to handle it. i usually drive them away cuz i get so excited i talk them to death. i don't have much of a life. i go to work, i eat, do chores and sleep. i don't watch much tv or read much in the way of newspapers. i like to read but i'm usually on the computer. i keep hearing people say..."well you should go out and be around people." i've tried that. it's only a temporary fix. with Christ it's an all the time thing. as long as i make room for His fellowship in each day. when i don't then, there i sit. alone. He will never leave or forsake me...........it's true. He will not. however, many times we do just that where He is concerned. i feel empty when i do that. i can only imagine how it makes God feel. i wonder if He ever gets lonely...... |
