************
"A Bad Day Before Christmas"
VANCOUVER, Wash. - 'Twas the month before Christmas and all James Craig Wilson watned was to spread some holiday cheer by stringing up the family's outdoor Christmas lights.
But his efforts landed him in jail after a series of mishaps with the lights caused him to grab his .45-caliber pistol and begin firing into the ground in his backyard.
Wilson apparently became upset when he found the lights were tangled, the result, he claims, of his wife balling them up and tossing them in the garage after last Christmas. Wilson further lost his cool when he tried to unroll the string of lights in his driveway, only to have his daughter return home and drive over them.
Wilson went into the house and began pacing, he told authorities. Then, in an attempt to dispel his anger, he decided to discharge his gun, according to police. He told his wife not to be alarmed and then sent his daughter across the street to tell a reserve deputy who lives there that he was firing in his backyard to let off steam.
Within minutes, five deputies arrived and arrested him for reckless endangerment.
"Twas just a bad day before Christmas," his wife told authorities.
========================================================================
"You Have the Right to Remain Nude"
PLEASANT GAP, PA.- As an American, you have the right to mow your lawn in the nude, a state superior court has ruled.
Charlie Stitzer, 63, won't let bashfullness get in the way of donning a thong or completely dropping his trousers in his backyard on a hot summer night. It is a matter of comfort. But for one neighbor, Stitzer's nakedlolling was too much. The neighbor contacted authorities in June 2000, and Stitzer was arrested for indecent exposure. He was found guilty seven months later and sentenced to two years of probation.
But after months of legal wrangling, three superior court judges overturned the conviction in a unanimous decision last week, ruling that the state's indecent exposure statute did not apply to Stitzer because the unmarried retiree was not exposing himself in a public place or drawing attention to himself. The judges also said that the backyard was private and that the complaining neighbor lived too far away, nearly 65 yards.
"This was a matter of Civil Liberties," Stitzer's lawyer, Andrew Shubin, told Court TV. "If someone had a problem with [Stitzer], they could avert their eyes or give him a call and complain. But there was absolutely no need for the government to get involved in this." Assistant District Attorney Lance Marshall said he won't appeal the ruling, but noted that he had the option to prosecute Stitzer in the future for a lesser disorderly conduct charge.
=======================================================================
"Man Accused of Attempted Murder in Wedgie Case"
LOWER SOUTHAMPTON, PA - A man accused of trying to kill a friend for giving him a "wedgie" during a Phish concert will stand trial for attempted first-degree murder, a judge ruled last week.
Eric Kassoway, 19, was reveling at a concert last year when he decided to sneak up behind his friend, Daniel Strouss, and yank up his underwear. Apparently it must have hurt, because Strouss, 19, held a grudge for months. So much so, that on the night of June 12, he drove to Kassoway's home and shot him in the arm and leg. Kassoway nearly died from loss of blood.
Strouss's attorney does not dispute the prosecution's version of events and said that Strouss is undergoing therapy.
A jury trial has been scheduled for October 21, according to the Bucks County court clerk.