barney eats his words...and a little lead, too
Barney the purple dinosaur was a cheery fellow. He loved kids of all shapes and sizes but contributing more to his happiness was the multimillion dollar paycheck he received weekly from his renowned children's show. Not that he talked about that.
One day as Barney was walking home whistling a happy tune after his latest show, he met a small group of thuggish-looking teenage boys.
"Poor lost little souls," he mumbled to himself. To them he flashed a big toothy smile and began to pass them.
"Yo dino," he heard a voice behind him call.
Barney turned around. "Yes?"
"I used to watch yo' show, ya know, when I's a little kid. Yo' always said I could be anything I wanted to be," said the thug.
Barney's face lit up as he heard this. "Why yes, I do remember saying that! And you can! You chose a rather, um, controversial path, but differences just make the world more intere-"
"I wanted to be a brain surgeon," the thug interrupted. "And here I am on the street. NOT a brain surgeon."
Barney faltered a bit. "Well, um, if at first you, uh, don't succeed, then, erm, try, try again, that's what I always say..." He trailed off into silence as the thug came closer to him, backing him into a corner.
"Yeah, well, ya know what I always say?" sneered the thug. "I always say, if the green-polka-dotted purple monster lies to you, pump him so full of lead he'll have to use his head as a pencil."
The thug drew a silver gun out of his pocket and riddled Barney with bullets until he fell onto the street, gasping for his last breath. Cheerfully, of course.
"Let's go find the Teletubbies," said the thug.
The End
Children's Stories You'll Never See>>>
Created 8/4/03
Updated 8/8/03
© 2003 Kristin Lindgren