51. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock. 52. Giggle if he did. 53. Talk to your hand. 54. Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends. 55. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does. 56. When he frisks you, say you missed a spot, and grin. 57. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it. 58. Try to sell him your car. 59. Ask if you can buy his car. 60. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front. 61. Play with the siren. 62. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner. 63. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. 64. Oops... I meant OVER for dinner. 65. Ask if he ever had pu-tang. 66. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle. 67. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues. 68. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh. 69. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing. 70. Turn your head and whistle. 71. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that. 72. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date. 73. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine. 74. Ask if you can see his gun. 75. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 76. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!" 77. Tell him you like men in uniform. 78. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party. 79. Course I'm pissed officer, d'you think I'd drive like this if I was sober. 80. Hey Asshole! Buckle UP! 81. Officer, if I weren't so drunk right now i'd get out of this truck and kick your ass. 82. (After receiving a ticket) Thanks a lot, Officer F*ckhead! 83. Is that a baton in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me. 84. I was just on my way to your sisters house. 85. Say, officer, isn't that your mom standing around on the corner? 86. Are you just mad at me 'cause you couldn't go to college? 87. You can't do that, this isn't my car! 88. You look a little slow today, what, one too many doughnuts? 89. I normally keep all that junk right here (pointing to the dash board), but you see, this isn't my car, and uh, right! This isn't my beer either! 90. I dare ya to arrest me! 91. Ha ha! I got your guu-uun! (long on gun as in a mocking tone) 92. Bet ya can't keep up with me now that your on foot! (and drive away) 93. Can i borrow that pen? Thanks, just wanna break it so ya can't write me up! 94. Go to hell and have a nice day! (after tearing up ticket) 95. Could ya leave me alone for a sec? I just want to finish this beer. 96. Hey! That's my beer! 97. Leave me alone! Go eat some doughnuts or something 98. No officer! That beer is Ralph's. No, he's sitting right there! Don't ya see him? 99. 60 mph in a 30 mph area? Could you put down 70 - I'm trying to sell the car. 100. Yes, officer I saw your flashing lights, but you didn't seem to be catching me, so I assumed you were after someone else. 101. Hey, you must'a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! 102. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 103. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 104. Excuse me, but is "stick up" hyphenated? 105. Hi officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license? 106. You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 107. Bad cop! No donut! 108. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars. 109. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you? 110. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "COPS"? 111. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket. 112. So, uh, you "on the take" or what? 113. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too! 114. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does. 115. So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little? 116. Hey is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum. 117. When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder. 118. Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds? |