The Dragon Slayer
This one night I was really really drunk and out at a fraternity party with my college buddies. Now I was the good child back in High School and wasn't really able to handle myself when drunk. I had it in my head that I would stop after a few beers and chill, unfortunately my very persuasive roommate had other plans. He kept getting me to drink just one more beer. Before long I was dancing and singing like nobodies business. I am usually quite reserved and my "friends" decided to take advantage of my drunken state. They started small, "Hey, try this dance move!" or "Hey, go talk to that guy over there!" They then upped the pace by telling me to go and get green things from around the house, telling me it was my "Dragon Slayer" color. It is not like we are into that type of thing but it seemed reasonable at the time. Once again they stepped up the pace of my humiliation by taking my fully drunken self outside. There they kindly pointed out to me the large number of green things in the area and how they were all dragons out to get me. Now I didn't quite understand how a bush was going to get me but at their prompt I began attacking things. I eventually got really into the attack and was soon pummeling every green plant in the area. Nothing escaped my wrath, I was jumping/stumbling into trees and ripping them to shreds. Bushes and grass trembled before me as my pals helped me dawn my secret armor, a parking cone atop my head. For a half a mile I reigned terror, guided by my trusty squires toward the homeland, my nice comfy bed. At some point I lost consciousness in my valient battle. I awoke the next morning (or maybe mid-afternoon) with dirt under my nails and leaves in my pants and no recollection of my mystical journey. My friends showed up shortly to see if I was ok and filled me in on what had happened. As they spoke I remembered in fuzzy detail the events of the previous night. To this day I am known among an elite group as the "Green Dragon Slayer." |
