<II. Creation| ---------------------------------------------------------- |IV. The Isle of Hungry>
III. Evolution
The First fixture upon the Sacred Isle of Screwed was the Coconut Tree to which wayward students would cling--especially those who bullshitted their test because they failed to learn. There is a minor dispute between the "NetAcad" tribe and the "Digital" tribe over whether or not the Coconut Tree is, in fact, a Palm Tree. However, it is also quite obvious that the "Digital" tribe is, in fact, wrong.The Second such furnishing for this Isle was the Mailbox, upon which students who have lost their lab books shall sit and wait for the post to deliver a replacement.
The Third item to appear on this Holy Isle is also under dispute, though one with much greater complications. The "Digital" tribe and most of the "NetAcad" tribe believe in the Shelter, made by taking a branch from the Pal-Coconut Tree and draping Coconut Fronds over it. Because of this actual agreement between the two tribes, there should not be a problem--that is, if a few of the more delusional "NetAcad" members were not struck with sunstroke and began to believe in the Hut instead. This is completely absurd as this would mean destroying the First fixture of the Isle, and will create a parallel universe (see IV. THE ISLE OF HUNGRY).
The Fourth is more of an entity because it is rumoured to be alive: the CAT-5 Jungle. From this Jungle, the "NetAcad" tribe obtains their desperately needed CAT-5 UTP for the Closets (see the Sixth). The rumour of life in the Jungle stems from the "NetAcad" tribe members who have disappeared and the horror stories of the survivors.
The Fifth exists in pairs--the Tin Cans. The Tin Cans are used as a substitute network backbone because of the lack of a Fibre Optic Forest.
The Sixth can also be considered a pair, although it is two seperate objects. Collectively, these are known as the Problem Wiring Closets (or just Closets for short). The first of the Sixth is Closet A, which has an emu living in it. The second of the Sixth is Closet B, which is a crack facility.
The Seventh are the Flaming Cables, so named because cables bursting into flame happens all the time.
The Eighth is a recent addition only because it was buried in the sudden rush of NetAcad refugees who stampeded across the sandy beaches: The Tile. The Tile is a single floor tile (of the type commonly found in educational facilities) placed on the beach. The Tile came to be because the floor tiles near the external door of the Digital classroom were loose and thus stolen by students (who grew bored of stealing road signs). Also, the Great Meyer used the single Tile to discipline the unruly Digital classes; the Idiot of the Day had to stand on the Tile for the whole block.
The Ninth was discovered after chopping away part of the Cat-5 Jungle (and losing a few NetAcad Tribe members in the bargain): The Rocks of Despair. The Rocks of Despair is where ships bringing new residents to the Isle of Screwed crash (see How to Get On the Isle of Screwed).