The Truth Be Known
Jesse...we're friends. Have been for about 6 months now. But a relationship between us would work!I know it somehow! And I want it. But I don't want to ruin the friendship we already have. I kinda feel like I'm using Chis-my boyfriend. I miss him. I really don't want to break up with him. Its just the whole relationship is uncomfortable to me because we were never really friends. For all I know, we couls only be in it for the physical.
And I want Jesse so badly!And not neccissarily just in the physical sense. I crave conversation-communication-with him, need it. When I think of him I think of his kind eyes full of love for everyone-and misheif-lol.
Sarah
SONG VERSE OF THE DAY:No one loves me like you...No one loves me the way you do....No one loves me like you..No one loves me the way...oh the way that you do. JARS OF CLAY
Jesse..the thought of him makes me smile-you're so sweet-funny even. You are so understanding and so relaxed. Mandie asked you last night if you liked me. You told her that you did...I dunno. I want us to be more...but if asking for more means that well be less, then I don't want that.
Sarah
PHONE CONVERSATION TITLE"Spilling the Beans."
I'm at my mom's house right now. School has already been going on for three hours now. I need to get to school. I called Jesse yesterday afternoon. I wanted to tell him that I like him-but couldn't. Rachel finally pressured me to get off the phone. So:
"I have to get off the phone pretty soon."
"oh"
"So there's something I need to tell you before I have to hang up."
"Well then spit it out!"
"If you do or don't-take and do with this what you will. But-I like you."
(amused)"uh huh."
(pause)"uhhhh yeah. and I had to tell you because I have been going crazy keeping it all inside."
(silence)
"Alright...so Im...I gotta go."
"Ill call later this week okay?"
"ok-bye."
How humiliating! Ilike you?! How retarded is that? If Mandie were here she would have laughed her ass off. I know it! haha Later
sarah
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Jess, I miss you so much right now. I don't know if I'll ever ge the courage to read this to you but-I like you a lot. I can't seem to see other guys I'm so hung up on you. Ad you, weird enough, seem like a dream. I guess it's because that's the only time I get to really see you-when I dream that is. I have lots of guys that give me their numbers and lots of guys that I date-none of them seem to fit the bill-but you do! I can't wait till you are down here for my Prom-four days! woohoo! Sarah
Well, I'm graduating in four days-and Jesse is an ass! I haven'tbeen able to get in touch with him for two whole weeks and al I want to do is make sure he cares enough to come down to see me at my graduation-and I finally get him on the phone-and he blows me off! I feel like puching the feathers outta my pillow! I am pissed!
My dad called right after Stefanie told him about Jesse blowing me off. And you know what-you cares-cuz I don't! He's an ass for doing this! And I don't ever want to speak to him again! Not ever.He has some kinda hold on he-not anymore-NO longer!
I am my own person damnit! Screw him! He's horrible. What is so wrong with me that he couldn't find me remotly attractive, huh? This just sucks. My room is filthy and.....oh bother!
I am going to Disneyland in two weeks though!Yay!Its going to be a blast! Why can'tsomeone think I'm special? Whatever.Who needs him? Im fine on my own. Bye
sarah
