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2009 Summer Program The 2009 Summer Orphanage Program was a great success, thanks to the incredible generosity of all of our donors. This year’s program was by far the most challenging logistically, working with kids from three different orphanages. Kostroma—The First 10 Days
After 17 hours on airplanes, followed by a 6-hour bus ride, the program began at one of the orphanages in Kostroma. We spent the first 10 days with the kids from this orphanage and from a nearby orphanage taking daily field trips like bowling, swimming, paintball, participating in a city sponsored basketball tournament (we won!), going to the theatre to watch Harry Potter (called Gary Potter in Russia), swimming, playing Uno, and eating at McDonalds. Most importantly, we spent a considerable amount of time just hanging out with the kids. Although they love the daily field trips that we take, it is clear that what they enjoy the most is the undivided attention they receive from us throughout our stay. We also brought over 300 pounds of clothing that had mostly been donated by our students—basketball, hockey, and football jerseys, hoodies, and t-shirts. As we were preparing for this year’s program, we asked the kids what they most wanted to do. Unanimously, the kids wanted to do something that kept them away from the orphanage for at least two nights. Working with the orphanage director and their social worker (our amazing friend, Tatiana), we planned a 14 day trip to the Black Sea. For kids who never get to leave the orphanage, spending nearly their entire childhood on the orphanage grounds, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And they were incredibly excited since they learned about it back in March. Svirstroy Orphanage
While all of the kids who were 12 and older, the orphanage director, a doctor, Tatiana, her son (Danil, who is also one of our translators and is studying to be a social worker), and one of the orphanage graduates (Igor) took a 36-hour train ride from Kostroma to the Black Sea for a 14 day trip, Cary, Tom, Ira (our translator), and I took a 14-hour train ride in the opposite direction to St. Petersburg. After an additional 5-hour train ride, we arrived in Svirstroy at the orphanage where the summer program started years ago. Unfortunately, the orphanage was closed to visitors due to a flu outbreak. Several of the kids had been sent to camp prior to the outbreak, so we decided to visit them instead. Unfortunately, the camp was 180 miles away in a town that we could barely find on a map. With the help of our friend, Timur, and a very dedicated taxi driver, we were able to find the camp and the kids after a 5-hour ride through the Russian countryside and a variety of dead-ends, wrong turns, and dirt roads. When we arrived at the camp, the camp staff was hesitant to let us in (since we were not “official” visitors), but our rather intimidating taxi driver managed to “convince” them that it would be wise to let us in to see the kids. We were escorted to their cabins along with almost 150 pounds of donated clothing. It was amazing to watch the kids’ reactions when they realized that the clothes were all for them! The Black Sea
We then flew from St. Petersburg and arrived at the Black Sea on the same day the kids arrived from Kostroma. They had never been to the sea (or any body of water other than the polluted Kostroma River), and they could not get enough of the water. Our “camp” was about 100 yards down the road from the sea, and we went there after breakfast, after lunch, and again after dinner. We bought some giant air mattresses for them to use, and had it not been for meal times, they might have refused to ever leave the water! Nothing funnier than watching 11 kids pile on to an air mattress in an attempt to push 6’ 4”, 230 pound Cary off! We also took them tubing behind a speed boat, which was a huge thrill for them. Program Highlights This was my fifth summer program, and with each one, there have been some things that will stay with me forever. This trip was no different. 300 Pounds of Clothing
As we planned for this year’s trip, we decided to ask our students to bring in clothing for the kids at the orphanages. During a previous trip, I brought some basketball jerseys from a team that I coached years ago. The kids loved them. So we asked the kids to bring in any jerseys, hoodies, and other clothing that they thought the kids might like. The response was overwhelming. My house looked like I was opening a used clothing warehouse! We brought 6 full size pieces of luggage, 3 full carry-ons, and 3 backpacks. We filled all 6 full size bags with children’s clothing—300 pounds of it! For kids that have little or no clothing of their own, the thought of having their very own basketball jersey or soccer pants is a dream. It was such a joy to watch all of the boys and girls’ eyes light up when we pulled out all of the clothing and told them to have at it. My favorite was Andre, who put on his new University of Michigan basketball jersey and informed us that he would be a much better basketball player now that he had his own jersey! It was great to see the older kids helping the younger kids find clothing that fit them as well. It’s nice to see kids who’ve been so neglected by their own parents doing their best to help the younger kids. There was no arguing over which kid got what, no fighting over a jersey, and no complaining. It was really amazing to watch. Working with a Troubled Kid
Each year, people ask whether the program makes any difference. I tell them that I believe it does have a positive effect on the kids, but I guarantee that for the time we are there at least, they get to enjoy all of the things that I loved when I was a kid. We take them on an excursion every day and we spend all day with them doing whatever they want to do or have to do. This year, several days were spent cleaning the orphanage, and we helped them clean these huge rugs (not sure how they would have done it without three men to carry them). Even when we are “working”, we are having a lot of fun. Most of the time we spent squirting each other with the hose and throwing buckets of water at each other! The vast majority of our time there is spent hanging out with them, giving them the attention they so crave. As an elementary school teacher, I have come to realize that it is usually the small things that make the most lasting impressions on kids.
This year, there were two moments that meant a lot to me because they were examples where the program and our time there made a difference. The first was with a boy who has really caused a lot of trouble for the staff over the last year or so. Valera is 16, though he looks about 13 because his growth is stunted. Lately, he began drinking and experimenting with drugs. And, he's recently started cutting himself, with cuts all up and down his arm and chest. Tom and I both had a real connection with Valera during our 2008 visit, and it troubled us greatly when we kept getting updates about Valera's troubles. The stories did not seem to fit with the kid we had met. We hoped to spend some quality time with Valera during this visit. One day, two of the boys were watching a movie. Jokingly, I asked them if it was Boomer (the only Russian movie I know). Valera, surprised that I knew this movie, ran to his room and brought back the DVD. He asked if we could watch it on my laptop. So, despite the movie only being in Russian and me having the Russian vocabulary of a 4 year old, Valera and I sat down to watch the movie. Since it was quite late, the other kids, Tom, and Cary had all gone to sleep. Valera and I were watching the DVD while sitting on a high backed bench at a little table in the common room. For about the first half of the movie, Valera was sitting with his face resting on his hands on the table, leaning forward. I was sitting back with my arm around the back of the bench (mostly trying to stay awake because I could not understand what was going on in the movie!). About halfway through, Valera sat up, and over the course of a few minutes, he slowly leaned back until he was leaning against my arm. He sat that way for a couple minutes, then he slowly leaned toward me until he was leaning against my shoulder. When I didn't move or flinch, I could actually feel him exhale with relief. He and I sat like that for the rest of the movie. I’ve had a number of kids do this during my visits, especially the younger kids who all fight to hold your hand, sit in your lap, or sit next to you. But Valera is 16. I wish that every day he could sit with someone’s arm around him, to help him to see that he is important and loved, to guide him on a different path than the one that he is on now. But, at least for a few minutes, I think he knew what it feels like to be loved and to know that someone really does care about him. For all the problems Valera has endured in his short life, at least for a moment, he felt safe. He will leave the orphanage in September, and I fear that things will get even worse for him. I wish there were more I could do for him, but at least for a few minutes, he could be happy. I tell people who go with me to Russia that, while it would be great if we could change the world, we need to focus on the here and now. We've accomplished a lot if our only achievement is to give these kids a few weeks of "normal", a few weeks where they feel special. A Successful Orphanage “Graduate”
Each year, someone asks me if I think the program and all of the time, money, and effort put into it makes any difference. When you see these kids and hear about the abuse and disappointments that they have endured, and when you read the statistics on how many of them will not succeed, you wonder if it is worth the money and effort to keep doing it. I’ve always believed that it did make a difference. I know that when we are there, they are happy, and it does mean something to them that we come all the way around the world just to spend time with them. I always said that I wasn’t sure if it had a long term effect, but at least for a couple weeks, they got to be kids, to feel loved, and to know they were special. But this year was different. For the first time, I saw that it did have a long term effect. One of our donors gave me $500 and asked that it all be spent on one person. I never single out kids. What one gets, they all get. We do our best to treat all of the kids the same. I struggled with how to fulfill the wish of the donor without showing favoritism to one particular child. So, I decided to invite a boy who had “graduated” from the orphanage to go along with us to the Black Sea. I met Igor during the 2006 trip, our first to Kostroma. He was 17 years old, and he was just like the other older boys at the orphanage—he drank, he smoked, and he caused a lot of trouble. But, I sensed there was something different about him. He left the orphanage for technical school shortly after the 2006 program to study building construction. Unlike the other older boys, most of whom have fathered kids, spend their days drinking, and dropped out of school, Igor finished his program, works renovating buildings, and has even stopped smoking (he may be the only person in Russia that doesn’t smoke!). He’s stayed out of trouble, and he is now going back to school to get additional training in the renovation of buildings to give him more opportunities for work. And somehow he has done this completely on his own. To show Igor that we have been watching and that we are very proud of him, I had Tatiana ask Igor to go with us to the Black Sea in recognition of his success. He was incredibly excited. Tom and Cary had never met Igor, and they were very impressed by him. He was like a big brother to the kids that came with us (even though he had just met them), he was helpful to all of the adults, and he showed a maturity that even amazed me. Igor had an amazing time, and it was great to watch him enjoy himself and make the trip even more memorable for the younger kids. He was so thankful that we asked him to go. As we were preparing to leave, the kids were all saying goodbye, and one of the younger boys was crying. One of the older boys turned to him and said, “You are 13, aren’t you a bit old to be crying?” Igor walked over to the younger boy, put his arm around him, and with tears in his own eyes said, “You can cry as much as you want no matter how old you are.” It was probably the most touching moment of my 8 visits to Russia, and it was proof to me that what we are doing is making a difference in the lives of these kids both in the short term and in the long term.
Igor is trying to get his government provided housing by September, and my primary goal right now is to ensure that money is available to help him fix his apartment when he gets it (usually, the apartment is completely empty, and most of the time it doesn't even have a door or windows!). While most of the kids that leave the orphanage eventually fail, when we see kids that are defying the odds, we want to make sure to do all we can to help them. A Positive Male Role Model
At the airport, Tatiana was in tears anticipating our departure. She shared with us how much it meant to her and to the kids that we were able to take them on this once-in-a-lifetime journey to the Black Sea, but more importantly, the time we spent with the kids, including her own son, Danil. Outside of our translator, Danil is the only person there who speaks any English, and he has continued to expand his role in our program each year. You can’t help but love this kid! Tatiana pointed out that positive male role models are few and far between for kids there, and that it meant the world to her to have the three of us take Danil under our wing during our stay. He is now studying to be a social worker so he can work with kids at the orphanages, and we look forward to the day where he can be the positive male role model for kids who are desperately in need of one. Since 2004, I have been amazed by the generosity of our donors, and it is because of you that we had yet another successful program this year. I have a number of ideas for the future, and I hope I can continue to count on your support. As you can see, we are making a difference, one orphanage, and one orphan at a time… Thank you, Jody Payne Director, Kostroma Kids Program Ascent Russian Orphan Aid Foundation |
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