Pain and Punishment...rooted from one feeling. A feeling that most would consider beautiful, wonderful, the one thing that holds us mortals across the bands of time and makes our existence a little less pitiful...A feeling that most would consider "harmless" and "simple"...Love.
Love is far from harmless and far from simple...Anyone whom has truly experienced love has experienced the flip side of the emotion...the pain and punishment that comes from mistakes, that is rooted in the break-ups, the annoyances, the little things that can't be seen or felt...by anyone but the sufferer. Mistakes, that only come when pushing things too far. Bringing feelings such as guilt into the picture. Misguided emotions is what love leads to. Then anger. Then bitter hatred for each other. All I have seen tonight. All I have seen in myself. Never again to be repeated. I can't. I can't bring such pain upon the soul of another. I think I have finally realised exactly what my mistakes were...so much more than physically. A wound, a scar, that will never heal...I will always care, I will always love, you...I hope my kiss has not become a scar as well...
Some...are not meant to love, some are not meant to fight, some are not meant to exist...Each their own path they must take. Each individual human carefully delicately intracately intertwined with each other, wafting and weaving their ways into the lives of others...Some will love. Some will hate. Some will kill. Some Seeing their own visions of Fate. Some a healer. Some only meant to inflict pain upon others...My path, begins to stray from the likes of others. It begins to take shape, every day, the gradual warp of the direction finally straightening itself out...Every day, growing, changing, maturing...Preparing...Feeling, and, yes, loving...The truth is, I can't stop loving...in every ounce of my willpower is consumed in the fire that I feel for you. Whipping its long gangly threads across my heart and gradually tugging, with each day that passes, I feel the pull more and more...Wishing. Feeling. Sometimes I wish I could quiet the yearning within my bosom, to be with the one I love so...but the more I try to avoid and avert the feeling, the more it seeks me, creeping, crawling its way back to me like a faithful wavered servant, the prodigal child that sought its way back to its master and friend...Love...plagues me, haunts me, oozes through my entire entity, washes over me like some sweet perfume...May I only hope that this love is not a double-edged sword, the razor that cuts deep and leaves me to be scarred...May the pain and punishment never again sear my soul, may the wounds never again be re-opened...Of every breath I take, I breathe you, every look, I see you, Every heartbeat, I feel you, Every tear, I cry for you...Lift me again my love, lift me to the skies of happiness, let me soar above the clouds that clutter my vision such...let me breathe your love again...
They always say pain and pleasure have a fine dividing line between them. Whatever the cost...I still love...I still bleed but I ignore it, why? Because some things I will never give up...I will never stop, no matter how much pain and punishment it will wreak upon my soul...It's the one thing that keeps me sane. My love for everyone, not just my love for one person...I will never give up on you, I will never give up on myself. you give me the strength to live another day. As far as I am concerned...pain and punishment, the very pits of the firy hell could not touch me as long as this love burns within me...
