Well, sorry for the long update.  I’ve been distracted.  But here it finally is…enjoy!

Chapter: 5

 

            I groaned as I sat up, the sunlight shining right in my face.  I had forgotten to pull the blind down last night before Jonathan left.  I had gone upstairs and simply collapsed on my bed, fully clothed, thinking.  I had just made out with another guy, for the first time in my life- and liked it.  This was wrong.  I wasn’t supposed to like guys.  I was straight.  This was a fucking dare, a dare!  But it had felt so good..so…right? 

I shook my head as I attempted to swing my legs over the edge and stand up.  I tripped and fell, of course, my left foot tangled in the sheets.  This was not going to be a good day.  I had to face all my friends today, and worst of all, I had to face Jon today and possible rejection.  I was terrified of that.  Not only would I be humiliated in front of my friends, but I would feel used.  I would feel like my little “risk” was all in vain and that I had done this all for nothing.  That I had put myself through hell for nothing.  Just thinking about how I would feel made my stomach feel sick with anxiety.  I swallowed the feeling and went head first into my daily routine.

I got to school just on time.  My daily routine had been severely slow because of my lack of sleep and over thinking.  Just my luck, when I rounded the corner, my group had congregated at my locker.

“So how was your date?” Derek asked with a sneer.

“Fine.” I replied in the same tone, with the same sneer mirrored on my own face.

“Did you fuck him?” Derek asked in an attempt to throw me off.  I kept my cool.  I had had to practice doing so all morning.

“It’s not polite to fuck on the first date, especially when you have two weeks to do so.” I replied.  I relished the shocked look on not only Derek’s face, but everybody else’s.

“You’d better start making negotiations.” I said before leaning in to spin the lock on my locker in the right directions until it popped open.  I reached in and pulled out my Calculus binder and textbook from the dented shelf before slamming the door closed.

“Yeah I will that is, if you aren’t too busy with your dick crammed up the faggot’s ass.” Derek spat.

“As long as you aren’t too busy fantasizing it, making the negotiations.” I spat, “I have class.” I added before heading off down the hall.

The day went by pretty uneventfully up until lunch, with the exception of Kim bitching at me in History class for not tipping her.  Finally lunch rolled around and I prepared for it to be one of the hardest parts of the day.  I would be in the same room as both Jonathan Davis and all my “buddies”.  This couldn’t be good.  I took a deep breath and turned the corner to the cafeteria, still nervous that everything I had tried to make would crumble and fall straight on my head.  I was still debating which table to go to, Jon’s or Derek and my buddies when I got my answer.  Derek was making faces at me, making obscene gestures, and so I headed straight to Jon’s table.  He sat with his headphones pulled over his ears, blasting something aggressive and metallic sounding.  I sat down right beside him and he looked up, a surprised expression on his face.  I watched one long and boney finger hit the stop button on his walkman before he reached up and slowly pulled the headphones off his ears.

“Hi!” I greeted cheerfully.  Jon immediately looked around him, as if I was talking to someone else, then when he realized I wasn’t, turned back to me.

“Hi,” I finally said cautiously, “why are you here?”

“Um, well I was actually wondering if we could maybe talk.” I said distractedly as my friends pointed subtly, so as not to give any hints to Jon.
            “Sure you can talk.” Jon said, sitting back in his crappy plastic chair, pulling one leg up to his chest.  He then wrapped both his arms around it and leaned his head to the side to rest comfortably in the cradle of his arms.  That’s when I noticed the redish purple bruise on the side of Jon’s neck.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed.  He sat bolt upright.

“What?” Jon cried.  I just pointed to his neck.  He put a hand to it and then stopped, realizing what I was talking about.

“I hope you realize that those are your fault and you have nothing to show for it, and I, have to walk around wearing hooded sweaters in California weather, in one of the hottest fucking weeks of the year.” He replied.  I did a double take.
            “Uh, well I was hoping we could talk about those…among other things.” I replied, then quickly added, “somewhere other than here.”  Jon sat back a moment, seemingly appraising the situation before his response of;

“Alright.”  He stood and slung his back pack over his shoulder, shoving his walkman into the pocket of his sweater and picking up the apple that had been on the cafeteria table in front of him.  I lead the way out of the cafeteria and Jon followed without saying a word.  People started to stare at us as we exited the room and I fought hard not to blush.  I did not need this attention right now.  I decided after looking at the clock that my best plan would be to go somewhere off school property in my car.

“Where are we going?” Jon asked in an odd tone of voice as we exited the school through the side doors and walked around to the parking lot where my car was.

“Going for a drive.” I responded.  Jon stopped dead is his tracks. 

“We have class next period.” He said, though I doubted that was the reason for his reaction.

“We’ll make it back on time, c’mon.”  I called over my shoulder and watched as Jon straggled along behind me to my car.  As I unlocked the door, my kiss with Jon flashed before my eyes and I had to shake my head to make it go away.  Jon hesitantly got into the car and I put the key into the ignition, speeding out of the parking lot.

“Where are we going now?” Jon asked pathetically.

“Just to the park or something.” I growled.  I was getting frustrated because I hadn’t got to ask him about going out with me again yet.  I turned corner after corner until we got to the park, then I turned to Jon.

 

***

 

            I was so nervous that I was shaking.  Adam seemed almost, angry?  And to think, earlier as I sat in class I had thought about going up to him and actually answering his question.  Now I had a definite answer in mind….that may get me beat up.  We pulled into the parking lot at one of the many parks in town.  The same park I had been beaten up in.  I cringed at the memory and subconsciously wrapped an arm around my bruised ribcage and stomach.

            “Jon?” Adam said suddenly, sounding a little more normal, and a little less violent.  I realized the car had come to a stand still in one of the parking spots.  I looked out the front window and saw that there was nobody around in the park, not even mother’s with their three year olds or anything.

            “W-what?” I stuttered.

            “I wanted to talk to you, please.”  Adam said quietly, calmly.  I turned towards him hesitantly, my eyes cast down at my lap.  If I was going to be hit, I didn’t want to feel the anticipation and see his fist before I was.

            “T-talk then.” I stuttered again.  Why am I no longer in control here?

            “Well you know last night….when I asked you out?” Adam began.  My stomach felt weird.  This was a trick.  All his friends were around and waiting for me.

            “Yes.” I answered quietly.

            “Do you have an answer at all?”

            “I did.” I responded, “but now I’m not so sure.”

            “Why, am I a bad kisser?” Adam joked.  A looked up, a small smile crossing my lips.

            “No.” I mumbled.  Adam cocked his head to the side. 

            “Than what did I do wrong?”  I wanted to tell him that he had been scaring me, but he wasn’t anymore.  So I couldn’t.  As far as this whole dating thing went…he really hadn’t done much wrong.  I chipped at the nail polish on my left hand for a moment before looking up again.

            “Do you really, honestly want to go out with me?” I asked.  It was one of the biggest points of vulnerability I had ever felt.

            “Yes.” Adam answered, almost exasperated, “Why would I have asked you out if I didn’t?”

            “As I said last night, a prank or something with one of your friends…” I trailed off.

            “Jonathan, think about it.  My friends would have been around if I had intended to pull something.  And, why would I have taken you back to the privacy of my own home and-” I cut Adam off.

            “Okay, okay, I get your point.” I mumbled.  One of my fingers subconsciously sweeping across one of the marks on my neck.

            “Well then, now that you get my point and what I am trying to say, I ask you again, will you go out with me?” Adam asked.  He just wasn’t going to give up.  My own insecurities were still telling me to say ‘no’.  But something else told me the contrary.  I listened to it.

            “Fine, yes, but you’re gonna regret this later I guarantee it.” I said.  Adam put a hand over his heart.

            “Oh no, what have I done?” he gasped over-dramatically,  “I’m dating Jonathan Davis.  What is the world coming to?”  He turned and smirked at me than planted his lips on mine in a quick peck.

            “Just kidding.” He teased.

 

            We headed back to the school, realizing that we didn’t have much time to get back to our classes or groups of friends before they wondered what was going on.  I told Adam I didn’t want anyone to know about us just yet, and he agreed that it may be a bit of a shocker, so we both decided to stay quiet about it.  I couldn’t help but feel…different, as I headed to the rest of my classes that day.  The school faggot has a boyfriend and you’re none the wiser. I thought, wishing that the rest of the student population could get my telepathic message.  But that would kinda ruin things.  As I suspected when I passed Derek and his goons, and Adam, they didn’t bother me at all…okay…well….near as much.  But this time Adam wasn’t participating at all.  If only they knew.  When I got home, things changed.

            “Jonathan!” the beast screeched as soon as I got in the door.  I fought the impulse to cover my ears.  My Dad must be home, because she would have called me “faggot” if he wasn’t.  I crept through the halls hoping to make her feel like she had just heard something that wasn’t me.  I was just sneaking past the kitchen, almost the perfect escape to my room when…

            “Just where in the hell do you think you’re going?” Lily drawled at me, a cigarette dangling in between her lips.  She looked like she was in her typically bitchy mood.  Her overly large hoop earrings swayed as she put her hands on her hips and planted her stance heavily in the middle of the hall.

            “To my room, to do homework…” I mumbled.

            “When the hell did you come in last night?” Lily demanded, ignoring my response.  I looked down at the floor, reaching across with my right arm and grabbing my left.

            “I dunno…around twelve o clock.” I said quietly.

            “I was sleeping you little shit.  I have had terrible hours at work lately and you had to go and wake me up just as I had a good nights sleep!” Lily began to lecture.  He thin, brightly painted red lips articulated the words painfully sharply.

            “I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

            “Sorry!  Sorry!” Lily screeched at me, “You don’t have to work like I do.  I’m working all the damn time.  You should be thankful you don’t you lazy son of a bitch.  I always end up paying for your shit.  That’s your father and mother’s job, not mine-”

            “I do work!” I objected, cutting her off.  I started to look around for my Dad.  Where was he?  Why wasn’t he sticking up for me?

            “You call that sick little fetish of yours work?  You call cutting dead bodies up because you enjoy it work?” Lily’s voice was getting higher and higher.

            “Yes I do call it work!” I finally yelled back, “and I do enjoy it….and one day I hope to God that I am holding a scalpel over your dead body.”  With that I started to stomp off to my room, but Lily turned around and grabbed my by the hair.

            “Owwww!” I cried out loudly.

            “Don’t you ever fucking speak to me like that again!” she screamed in my ear, “I am your parent and I deserve some amount of respect!”

            “My parent!” I cried out, Lily’s hand still wound in my hair pulling hard, “You’re not my fucking mother.  You are an inbred beast that lives with my dad.”  This time Lily removed her hand from it’s grasp on the side of my head and smacked me sharply.   I cringed from the blow but refused to show anymore emotion than that.

            “You ungrateful brat!” She screamed at me, pushing me down so that I fell and hit my head on the wall.  She kicked me with one of her sharp and pointed high heels, bright red to match her lipstick.  I couldn’t even groan because she kicked me in the exact spot where the guys had bruised my ribcage this past Friday.  Instead my breath was completely taken away.  Lily took this opportunity and bent down in front of me.  My arms were slack at my sides as she lifted my t-shirt enough to reveal the bruise.

            “If I were one of those kids in highschool, I’d beat you up too.” She growled.  Catching my breath I managed to spit a response.

            “You already do.”

            “That’s right sweetie,” she said sarcastically, leaning so close I could smell her cheap perfume, “and as long as you live under this house you have to respect me like your mother.”  She traced around the bruise on my skin lightly with one bright red nail, “If you treat me well, maybe you’ll get a favor every once in awhile.”  Her hand grazed my thigh.  I pulled away as if I had been burnt.  Lily just laughed.  With that I scrambled to my feet as quick as I could and ran straight out the front door.  Lily had just unwittingly fueled my desire to kill her even more.  But I was too afraid and so I ran.

 

 

 

 

Okay well I kinda realize that Jon’s part in this is a lot longer than Adam’s but it needed to be this time.  I’m sure I’ll even it out later.

 

 

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