Chapter: 6

 

            The doorbell rang right at 5:30, much to my surprise, who could that be?  I almost didn’t go and answer it, afraid it would be some dumb salesman wanting to sell me some knives or a vacuum cleaner.  Instead when I looked through the peep hole on our front door I saw the top of someone’s head full of brown hair.  I opened the door to see Jonathan standing right there on my doorstep.  My heart leapt.  Something was wrong.  There was almost an unreadable expression on his face.  But something not quite right was going on behind his eyes.

            “Can I come in?” he asked softly, looking at his worn tennis shoes.  I nodded slowly and held the door open for him as I stepped out of the way.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked hesitantly, afraid it was a touchy subject.  Then again, that would be why he came to his boyfriend’s house.

            “My stepmother has been bothering me again.” He mumbled, “I’m sorry I came over it’s just, I don’t really have anywhere else I could go.”

            “That’s okay.” I said, not knowing what else to say.  It sounded like Jon had a pretty shitty family life.  “Come on in and sit down.” I invited.  I led Jon to the same couch we had made out on last night.  Jon was shaky and jumpy.  I had never seen anyone like this.  All my friends tended to keep things like their emotions, especially vulnerable ones like these, well hidden.  Now I didn’t really know what to do about it.  All I could offer was a hesitant arm around his shoulders.  Still he didn’t cry or anything, like I thought he may.  He just sat there stoically.

            “What happened?” I finally asked after a few minutes.

            “My stepmother is what happened.” Jon growled maliciously, “I hate that bitch.”  I was surprised at the aggression in his voice.  That part of Jonathan I didn’t really know was manifesting itself again.

            “Well what did she do?” I pried.

            “I don’t want to talk about it.” Jon spat bitterly.  I felt like spitting right back at him “Then why the hell are you here?’  But I knew the reason.  That he just wanted to get away and go somewhere where nobody would be mean to him.  The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  He was made fun of at school, and at home, he had nowhere, except where he worked, to be left alone, and that was only because the only people he associated with there were dead.  It was sad to think about.  I wrapped my arms around Jon tighter, just then I heard the door open and jumped away.  Mom was home.

            “Adam honey, I’m home.” She called.  I blushed when Jon looked at me with a smirk on his face.

            “Hi mom!” I called from my spot on the couch, “My friend Jon is over.”

            “Oh, alright hon.” My mom said as she walked into the den where I sat with Jon on the couch.

            “Nice to meet you Jon.” My mom said, extending a hand.  Jon took it weakly.

            “Nice to meet you too.” He said politely.

            “Adam honey, did you ask your friend if he wants to stay for dinner?” My mom asked.  I blushed.  Come to think of it, it would be nice to have Jon stay…

            “No, sorry, Jon do you want to stay for dinner?” I asked.  He looked startled for a minute.

            “We’re not really having anything extra special,” My mom said modestly, “Just chicken, but you are welcome to stay sweetheart.”

            “Umm…uhh…alright.” Jon said awkwardly, “Can I just phone my father and tell him I won’t be there for dinner?” he asked timidly.  I wanted to jump up and down.  Maybe by the end of tonight I could get to the bottom of Jon’s odd behavior.

“Sure,” my mother said enthusiastically, “the phone is in the kitchen.”  Then she sat down next to me on the couch.

“He looks like a nice boy.” She said, “Not like your other friends though.  He’s very polite.”

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy.” I said, not wanting to add ‘in fact- he’s my boyfriend’.  I ignored the stab at my normal group of friends.  Just then, before my mother could quiz me anymore, Jon trudged back into the room.

“Is it okay with your Dad?” I asked hopefully.  Jon looked sad behind his warm puppy dog eyes but nodded.

“Well than, I had better get cooking.” My mother said and stood up from where she had sat next to me on the couch, “If you need anything just call.”

“Okay.” I said, “We will, we’re going to go upstairs though.”  My mom’s eyes flashed with disappointment knowing that she wouldn’t be able to spy on us or eavesdrop.  Jon’s face was etched with curiosity and I wanted to tell him right there, “don’t worry, I don’t plan on ravaging you…until after dinner’ but, needless to say, I didn’t say that.

Jon followed me out of the living room and up the stairs to my room, this time, on his feet, instead of in my impatient arms.  When we got to my bedroom, I closed the door and collapsed back onto my bed.  When Jon just stood there, I moved over more towards my wall.

“Hop in.” I invited.  He looked hesitant but advanced towards me anyway and stiffly lay down on the bed beside me.

“So are you going to tell me what happened or is the conversation dropped and are we just going to lay here?” I asked more to the ceiling than to Jon.  I was desperately trying to ignore the thoughts going through my head about what we had done just last night in this very bed, the thoughts that were going to give me a very embarrassing physical effect soon.

“My step mom and I got into a fight.  What more is there to say?” Jon said, sounding ticked off.  I sat up and looked at him.  His arms were crossed over his chest and he was biting his lower lip.  He was trying not to cry!

“Hey,” I coaxed softly, placing a hand tentatively on his arm.  He shrugged away.

“What did she do to you?” I asked.  Jon just shook his head because, I assumed, he couldn’t bring himself to tell me, and I knew then, that it must have been pretty bad.

“I don’t want to talk about it.  I just wanted to get out of that house.” He said, internalizing the pain.  I had a feeling he did that a lot.  I slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him back against me, in a way I comforted past girlfriends when they had had a shitty day.  The result of this was Jon’s entire body immediately stiffening in it’s own defense.  He was too used to being hurt.  After a few minutes of just laying there Jon’s body started to relax against me.

“She hit me.” He said out of the blue.

 

***

 

            I lay against Adam wishing I could stay there forever.  His room was dark and comfortable like mine.  He was warm and his steady breathing was calming for me.  I closed my eyes and leaned back.  I felt so safe here.  I never wanted to leave.  I had told him what my stepmother did and he came up with a remedy shortly.  When Adam started to kiss and lick at my neck and collarbone, I didn’t stop him.  I owed him this much. Besides, he could numb some of the pain.  His hand was under the bottom of my shirt before I really knew what was going on.  My head swirled with so many emotions I figured the best thing to do was ignore them all. 

We were almost in as heated a make out session as the night before by the time I realized what was going on.  What the fuck are you doing Jonathan? My mind was screaming at me.  I ignored it and watched as Adam slowly undid my jeans again, cautious to watch my reaction this time.  I lay my head back against the pillow as I felt his hand down my jeans again.  My stomach fluttered nervously.  He was gentle with me as he stroked slowly.  My mind was so numb and fuzzy.  I didn’t know what to feel.  I moaned and Adam covered my lips with his to smother the sound.  I had completely forgotten that his parents were downstairs.  I didn’t care.  This felt so-

There was a loud knock at the door and Adam and I jerked apart as if the other person were on fire.  I hurriedly did up my jeans and sat up, fumbling with my belt still.  Thankfully the person behind the door, his mom, didn’t come in.

“Dinner’s just about ready.” She called through the door at us.

“Okay!” Adam called, trying to take some of the edge off his voice, clearly agitated that we had been interrupted.  He grabbed me from where I stood awkwardly and almost swept me off my feet.  I gasped and he pulled me close to his side.

“We’re going to finish this later.” He half promised and half growled in my ear.  All I could do was nod weakly.  My knees were still knocking from our encounter.

After both of us washing our hands we went downstairs to the dinner table where Adam’s mother and father sat.  Adam took a seat and gestured to the one across the table for me to take and I sat down.

“So how are you boys doing?” His mother asked as she started to pass around the food.  And she thought her cooking wasn’t much- man if she knew that every night at my house was fend for yourself night, or instant dinner night, she would probably have a heart attack.

“Can’t be doing to good, considering there weren’t any sounds comin’ from upstairs, neither of them brought any cheerleaders home either.” Adam’s Dad said boldly.  Adam blushed.  That wasn’t exactly the normal comment you would hear at the dinner table.

“Bob!” Mrs. Bowen scolded.  He just laughed.

“I’m just kiddinya boys.” He said, “ I know what you were really doing up there.”  Adam and I shifted uncomfortably in our seats, “You were talkin’ about them girls weren’t cha?  Makin’ a bet were ya?”  WE both took a deep breath.

The dinner chatter became normal for a family once Mrs. Bowen told Mr. Bowen to close his trap- politely of course.  I can’t even remember have good dinner conversations when I was a kid.  The furthest back I can remember having a dinner with my family was when I was very little, and my Dad threw his plate of food at my mother and stormed out.  I can’t really remember anything else but that.  I sat back at this dinner table as more of an observer than anything else, participating in conversation when I was asked too.  Adam’s mom was so sweet.  I could tell she was the glue of the family, even though she was a self professed stay at home mom. 

Once dinner was over Adam came through with his promise and practically dragged me back up the stairs to his room, much to his mother’s protests because she wanted to sit and “talk” before her group of friends came over to play cards.  Once there Adam pushed me back onto his bed without giving my eyes a chance to even adjust to his dark bedroom.  His lips attacked mine like last night, but I wasn’t so hesitant this time.  Maybe the having the official title of “boyfriend” had something to do with it.  I moaned and pushed my hips up into his, not completely intentionally, but partly.  Adam got up off of me and went to his door, which he promptly locked.

“I should have done that last time.” He mumbled, “Now where were we?” He said slyly as he climbed on top of me again.  His hands worked at stripping my clothing off as fast as he could, a complete fury of lust that was becoming contagious.  The only sounds in the room were heavy breathing and panting as well as the rustle of fabric as our clothing was discarded and thrown through out the room in between a frenzy of kissing and groping.  This has to be real…no guy would go this far and not be gay…that means you’re gay you faggot…yes, I am, I would be…  My brain had such a constant stream of conflicting thoughts that it was hard to keep from feeling like I was spinning out of control. 

Adam was lowering himself down my body, licking and kissing on the way, before sliding his index fingers under the waist band of my boxers and virtually clawing them off.  That feeling in the pit of my stomach began to grow and I fought hard to keep it down.  That shamed feeling instilled on me as a child.  The feeling that right now, I was doing something bad and that there was something wrong with me.  I involuntarily started to tremble as I lay nude underneath Adam.  He sat back from me, just so that he could take off the one thing left adorning his body as well.  I looked away and closed my eyes, a minute flashback playing behind them, bringing back memories of my little five year old self in a situation all too similar- except forced.  I pushed the memory away violently and concentrated on how nice it felt to be kissed and touched this way.  This wasn’t pain, this was…love?  No it couldn’t be, it had to be lust right now.

Adam’s hand wrapped around me and I sank back into the soft mattress of his bed.  This felt so good.  I started to just let go of my mind and not care anymore about anything.  When a moan came to my lips he smothered it with his own lips and reminded me not to be too loud.  My heart was pounding so hard I was sure Adam could hear it.

“Stay still…” He whispered after a few minutes and took his hand off of me.  I squirmed around uncomfortably for a moment, trying to get used to the feeling of not being stroked, a feeling, that in the past several minutes, I had got used to.  His hands moved to keep mine at my sides as he slowly lowered his head.  I tensed in preparation for what he was about to do.

 

 

***

           

            Adam what the fuck are you doing?  You’re not gay!  You don’t know how to suck dick!...But I’m about to learn.   My thinking was on an erratic path and I don’t think you could blame me.  I had been with girls before, and had them give me head, but I had never been with a guy, and the best I could do was try and remember what they had done on my and try and replicate it now.  I surprised myself by not being even the slightest bit disgusted at what I was doing- in fact- I wanted to do it.  Rather than full on taking Jon’s dick into my mouth, I started to gently lap at the insides of his thighs.  The result from him was gasp, and his hands clawing at the sheets on either side of him.

            “Do-don’t.” He protested quietly.  I ignored him and let one of his hands go so I had a hand free to explore with- and buy some time with.  I gently fondled and played with him, evoking small gasps and moans from his lips.  Finally I leaned down.  I heard if you swallowed at the same time, it wasn’t so bad.  Jon gasped and I felt the muscles in his thighs and his forearms tense when I finally wrapped my lips around him.  I wasn’t revolted, at all.  In fact, I was concentrating on how I was supposed to do this more than anything else.  Suddenly I was very grateful to all the girls that had paid me this favor.  It wasn’t easy.  What if I choke?  What if he knows I don’t know what I’m doing?  Jon was actually a lot bigger than I expected making this even more of a challenge for me, but judging by sounds the boy above me was making, I was doing okay.  Jonathan whimpered when I became a little more confident and took him in just about as far as I could handle.  Jon was no longer protesting in the slightest as I pleasured him.  Instead, he was laying back against the pillows in my unmade bed, biting his lower lip to keep from moaning, instead only allowing small whimpers to escape from his mouth.  I knew he was close but didn’t know what to do?  What did you do when I guy was about to come in your mouth?  You are gonna get hell from the guys if you swallow….why would you tell them about this in the first place?  He probably has AIDS…No!  He doesn’t…he wouldn’t.  You should have thought to use a condom before you put his dick in your mouth.  He would have given you AIDS already if he was going to…Jon’s fingers clenched like claws into the sheets on either side of him and his heels dug into the bed.

            “Adam.” He panted, almost as a warning.  I really didn’t care, I was prepared to do this.  I leaned down and swallowed when he released in my mouth.  It wasn’t as bad as some girls say, grant you it’s not like it tasted good and I would drink the stuff, but it wasn’t horrible. 

            Jon lay panting, as I crawled up the length of his body to face him.  He looked right at me before leaning in to give me a small kiss.

            “Thank you.” He said quietly into my collar bone.  He slowly sat up and flipped me onto my back.

            “I owe you one.” He said, but I stopped him.

            “This night was yours.” I said.

 

***

 

            I walked home slowly at about midnight.  Everything was serene and quiet, though I knew that when I got back home I would have hell to pay.  My Dad had yelled at me on the telephone when I had phoned him from Adam’s house.  He said I had been disrespectful towards Lily and didn’t let me get a word in for my own defense.  I wasn’t about to yell at him in someone else’s house, so I had just hung up on him.  But staying at Adam’s house was well worth the trouble I was going to get into when I got home.  It was the first time in a long time I had ever felt that somebody actually cared about me.  It had nothing to do with what we had done sexually, though that was one of the highlights of the night, but it had everything to do with how he treated me, and how his parents treated me.  I was becoming less and less skeptical of this being a joke, and more and more open to the idea that this just might be real.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I know that Jon my kind of jipped point of view wise in this chapter, but I’ll probably make up for it later…so don’t you worry;)  Anyway I am also sorry I took so long to update, but final exams are over now and I hope to get a little more writing in during my “vacation.”  Also, thank you to anyone who reviewed in the review book or emailed me, I appreciate it!

 

Next

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1