Chapter: 3
It was Sunday morning and I was
nervous as hell. Tonight was my date
with Jonathan, and I still hadn’t figured out a place for us to go without
really being seen by anyone. I was even
more nervous about the fact that the stakes had now been raised, and sometime,
over the course of this evening, I had to ask Jon out. Then he would be my “boyfriend’ for two
weeks. How was I going to hide that one? But then the final thing,
that made me the most nervous of all was my own curiosity. What would it be like to go out with another
guy? Moreover that led me to the
question…Am I gay?
Finally, at about five thirty, I
decided my best bet was to go for pizza, and then watch a movie at my place, a
private, yet believable date. If anyone
by chance saw Jon and I at the pizza place, I could
simply say he was helping me with my Bio- teachers orders- and that we had
gotten hungry and went out to get something to eat. I ran around getting ready to go out, having
a shower, brushing my hair, changing into “date” attire. Then I realized I was primping, luckily
before anyone else in my family did, and abruptly stopped. What am
I doing?...Playing the part.
“Mom, Dad, I’m going out!” I called
as I took one last glance in the mirror.
“Okay,” My mom responded, “just be
quiet when you come in, your father and I have had a long day, we are going to
get to bed early tonight.”
“No problem.” I called.
“Have a good time.” My mother
called.
“Use protection.” Was what my brash
father called out.
I blushed and tried to shake the image of Jonathan and I needing such
protection, out of my head. Luckily
nobody saw that.
Jon lived several blocks away from
me, about as far away as he could live without going to a different highschool. As I
drove, I realized how stupid it was for my friends and I
to follow Jon all the way to his house, just to have the satisfaction of
beating the crap out of him on his own doorstep. It was pathetic. Come to think of it, this entire dare was
pathetic. I was dating a guy just to
hurt him, gain credibility from my friends, and get laid? The more I thought about it, the dumber it
was. So
why am I going through with this?
Before I could answer my own thoughts I had pulled into Jon’s
driveway. I opened the door to my car,
climbed out and started to walk towards the front steps leading up to the red
bungalow that was Jon’s house. As I
stepped on the first step, a memory flashed through my brain, of one of the
times my friends and I had followed Jonathan home. We had beaten him up…of course. But the thing I remembered the most was the
sickening crack sound that Jon’s head made when it hit that wooden step. I shivered at the thought. I cringed and attempted to shake the thought
from my head as I raised my hand to the door to knock.
***
I spent the time between waking up
at about
“He just pulled in the driveway.”
She announced, “So hurry up. Remember
what I told you. If that asshole does
anything to you, I’ll be there to pick you up in a flash…and do some ass kicking.” The thought was laughable, considering that
Alyssa was even shorter and skinnier than me.
But she sure could pull hair and scratch if she needed to.
“I will.” I agreed and went to the
front door, jerking it open before Adam could even knock.
“Uh- hi.”
He greeted awkwardly.
“Hi.” I greeted in much the same
tone, “Um, just let me get my wallet and my shoes.” I said before going further
into the hall and grabbing the items.
Alyssa gave me a knowing look and I stuck my tongue out at her. I was a big boy. I could handle whatever they had plotted to
throw at me this evening.
“I’ll be back, well I don’t know
when,” I said to Alyssa quietly so Adam or anybody else couldn’t hear, “After
all I may be getting laid.” I added with a smirk. Alyssa just rolled her eyes.
“Ready to go?”
Adam asked, as he stood awkwardly just inside the doorway. I nodded ad followed him down to my front
steps to his
“So, I thought Pizza would be good,
‘cause everybody likes Pizza, so is that okay? Adam asked as he got in and put
the keys in the ignition, “I mean we can go somewhere else if you want to-”
“Pizza’s good.” I said, trying to be
as friendly as possible. I couldn’t let
him know I was onto his little game. I wanted to have the upper hand this
time.
“Then I thought we could watch a
movie at my place or something?” Adam invited.
That’s odd, why would he want us
to be at his place if all he wanted to do was humiliate me?
“Sure,” I replied, when I realized
that I hadn’t answered yet, “won’t your parents mind?”
“Nah, they don’t care. They’ll just think you’re one of my friends.”
Adam replied, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Just like at the pizza place?” I
said smartly, trying to make Adam tick.
He didn’t reply at all to my somewhat icy comment.
***
As we stepped into the pizza parlor,
I self consciously looked around to see if anyone I knew was there. Luckily, looking around the dim restaurant, I
couldn’t see anyone I knew. Jon followed
as I led us to a both after a sign instructed us to
“seat ourselves”. I made sure we were in
a corner where we most likely, wouldn’t be seen. I watched as Jon sat down and slid into the
booth, wincing slightly. It took a
moment for me to realize that his ribs and stomach must still be hurting him
from being beaten up on Thursday.
“Are you alright?” I asked. For one time in this entire evening, I was
being honest, my concern was genuine.
“I’m fine.” He replied very
softly. I frowned at his response. His eyes remained glued to the table. I sat down across from him and slid up next
to the wall, just as he had.
“Hey.” I coaxed quietly. Jon remained in his place, staring at the
table. I looked around before reaching
across the table and grabbing his angular chin in my hand, drawing his face up
to look at me. Even then, he would not
make eye contact.
“You’re not okay, are you?” I
asked. At that, a deranged smile crept
across Jonathan’s face. He shook his
head free of my hand.
“I’m never okay.” Jon muttered
before forcing out a small laugh. It was
kinda scary.
Who would have thought that this would be one of many times I would
glimpse the horror that lay inside Jonathan Davis. I was just about to ask more about it when I
waitress came over.
“Can I get you anything to drink?”
she asked. I looked up and recognized
the girl as Kimberly, a chick in my History class.
“Oh, hi Adam.”
She greeted, sounding somewhat surprised to see me here. She looked at Jon.
“What are you doing here?” she practically spat. Her words were like acid, but Jon didn’t even
blink.
“He’s uh, helping me with my Bio
homework- teachers orders- we got hungry.” I
explained. I sounded like I was making
excuses. I looked at Jon to make sure he
wouldn’t argue. He didn’t make any
effort to.
“Oh, well what do you and the faggot want to drink?” Km asked, “Cum?” she added acidly.
“I’ll take a coke.” I responded,
trying my best to ignore her comment.
“Same thing.”
Jon mumbled.
“Okay.” Kim said before handing me
my menu, and dropping Jon’s in front of him with a loud SMACK n the table. I cringed.
He didn’t seem to care.
“So, what do you like on your
Pizza?” I asked, more to make conversation than anything else.
“I dunno, anything except
anchovies and onions.” Jon replied.
“Woah- I
think that’s the most you’ve spoke to me all night.” I teased, feigning shock.
“Well- sorry- this is just a little
awkward. I mean, you did ask me out, out
of nowhere.” Jon said quietly.
“Sorry if that seemed sudden-” I
started to apologize before Jon cut me off.
“Look,” he said, laying
both hands flat on the table, “If this is a trick, a sick joke that you and
your buddies have dreamed up- tell me now.
I can take it. I can take the
humiliation because I deal with it every fucking day of my life. I just want to know it and expect it for once.
Just tell me the truth now, and I’ll go along with this stupid scheme
just for you. I don’t care anymore. You win.
You won long ago.” Jon concluded
sadly. I sat in shock. This was my chance to strike a deal, come
clean. So why didn’t I want to? Because I wanted to declare
victory on my own? Because I was curious?
Because maybe, just maybe, I was starting to like this
guy, even just as a friend? I
contemplated my answer and decided, rather than admitting defeat by just coming
clean, I could actually date Jon and just let him down easy, maybe even stay
friends. But before my brain could come
up with a tangible answer I could deal with, my lips moved.
“Why would I be joking?” I said
innocently. I was almost disgusted by my
insincerity.
“Because, look who you hang out
with.” Jon said quietly, “They live to embarrass me and hurt me.” I was just about to respond and say something
sweet when Kim came back, setting our drinks in front of us. I had a feeling, judging by the look of
sadistic glee on her face, that she was up to something.
“So, you decided what to order yet?”
she asked. I looked at Jon and he just
shrugged.
“Uh- yeah,” I replied, “ill get a
large Caesar salad, and a medium Hawaiian pizza.” I said.
“Sure thing, want a separate knife
so you don’t get AIDS?” Kim asked with a sneer.
Jon looked down at the table …again.
“I don’t have AIDS.” He mumbled.
“What’s that faggot? I didn’t hear you, you speak like you have a
dick in your mouth, hell you probably wish you did.” Kim scoffed, sounding meaner
than she’d ever sounded.
“Kim stop
it!” I ordered, “You’ll get yourself fired.
One knife is fine.”
“It’s your life.” Kim mumbled,
before walking away.
“I hope she gets fired.” Jon
muttered.
“So do I.”
I agreed as I reached across the table and switched Jon’s glass with mine.
“What’d you do that for?” He asked.
“Because, knowing Kim, she spat in your drink.” I replied, looking
into the glass.
“Why would you want it then?” Jon replied.
“What, you think Kim and I haven’t swapped spit before?” I joked. Jon looked shocked.
“I’m kidding.” I said with a smirk.
“Why do people hate me so much?” Jon mumbled, turning serious.
“I don’t know, “ I said somewhat
wistfully, “You’re different. I guess
that’s the only real reason, and it’s not a very good one.” There was silence where I contemplated what to
say next and then decided on a sappy comment.
“I like you.”
Jon smiled, again, a faint flutter and rearrangement of facial
features that left as quickly as it came, returning his face to the expression
that people could read however they like.
“I don’t think you will once you know me.” He
said, voice filled with doubt. I
looked around to make sure that all of the people around us were engrossed in
their own conversations before I leaned across the table and gave Jon a kiss on
the cheek. Surprisingly enough, unlike
what I would have thought, I didn’t have the urge to spit on the table…that had
actually been kinda…tolerable…no…tolerable wasn’t the
word…nice.
***
Did he just do what I think he just did? Adam
Bowen had just kissed me, in public.
Yes, I know it was on the cheek, but still…He said he liked me, and he
was actually being nice to me. I had
even been a prick and confronted him about a possible prank, which he seemed
astonished I would even suggest something like that. This certainly wasn’t supposed to be
happening to me right now. Adam was
supposed to hate me. Right now, he was
supposed to be humiliating me…but he wasn’t.
“Why did you just do that?” I asked abruptly, not even realizing
how rude I sounded. Adam smiled a
little, showing off a line of perfect straight teeth, he, unlike myself, had
probably never needed braces.
“Because,” He stated, “kissing you on the lips my have gathered
more than just a little unwanted attention.”
I had to admit he was right.
During dinner the conversation stayed pretty neutral, remaining on
topics like music, school and other topics that were neither
personal or controversial. This
ay I could still keep my guard up, even though, and I hate to admit it, I was
having a pretty good time, despite Kim’s snide remarks whenever she came to our
table to check up on us. When we were
finished dinner came the surprising part.
“Well now that we’re done,” Adam said as he paid the bill, I think
deliberately not leaving our lousy waitress a tip, “We can go back to my place
and watch movies or something.” My
breath hitched in my throat. I subtly
looked down at my watch, it was only
“Sure.” I said. Adam
smiled.
“Great.”
We walked out into the parking lot, the night air fresh in
comparison to the muggy, greasy smell of the pizza parlor. I breathed in the fresh air, realizing I
really didn’t spend that much time outdoors.
We got to Adam’s car halfway across the parking lot where I stood to the
side as he unlocked the passenger side door.
“Thanks.” I mumbled and reached for the door handle. From there, I wasn’t too sure what happened,
all I knew was that within seconds, I was pinned between Adam and the little
red
“Sorry.” He managed to apologize, probably just judging by my
shocked reaction. My heart was beating a
mile a minute. My brain was all over the
map. I had just kissed a guy- and
enjoyed it, unlike the little peck in a game of truth or dare when I was
fourteen, this was real. After defending
my sexuality, saying I wasn’t gay again and again, my actions had just
completely contradicted my words.
“It’s okay.” I finally managed to say, “I just, don’t usually kiss
on the first date.” I joked. Adam broke
into his smile, the one that I was beginning to like and trust.
“Come on, lets go to my place.”
All I could do was nod in agreement and get into the car, legs
still a little shaky. Was I really doing
this?
As we drove I couldn’t help but be nervous. What was going to happen tonight? What would I let happen tonight? What would people at school say if they found
out? Would I regret this later? And so on and so on…
Yay for me I am slowly getting better at updating this thing….:) Chapter four is
on the way, in the mean time you can make my self esteem sky rocket by
reviewing…