| Divided Love |
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Part 3 CONTINUED Yuki stared at Touya whose eyes had fluttered shut, while he murmured Yue's name. His arms tightened around Touya and he bit the inside of his cheek hard to chase away the numb feeling that had spread through him. The salty tang of blood filled his mouth and Yuki clung to the sensation, the taste and the small pain. No, he wouldn't let Yue take over again and kiss Touya good night. Suddenly Yuki had to struggle against a single confused sob. They'd kissed ... and Touya had drifted off into sleep with his name on his lips ... Yuki exhaled shakily. He had to get out. Carefully he eased Touya back onto the bed and lifted his long legs inside. Then he pulled up the blanket to cover up the tall, fast asleep boy. For a moment Yuki hesitated, staring down at Touya's sleeping face framed by the ruffled, still damp hair. The dark eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown. Yuki reached out and lightly touched his fingertips to Touya's slightly parted lips, felling their warmth and softness and the deep, even breath spilling over them. "I love you, Touya ..." Yuki whispered softly, then suddenly got up. Silently he dressed again and left the room. Without turning on any light he felt his way along the corridor to the stairs. The soft creak of a door made him stop. //Touya...// "Tsukishiro-kun?" It was Fujitaka's gentle, hushed voice. He sounded slightly surprised to find Yuki sneaking down the corridor in the dark. Yuki turned around to see Touya and Sakura's father standing in the stripe of light that pooled out from his study. "I ... I'm going home, Fujitaka-san." Yuki stammered softly "I thank you for the dinner ..." His voice trailed off and he lowered his gaze, unable to look at Fujitaka-san. But he could hear him come closer. "Gomene Tsukishiro-kun, but have you and Touya-kun quarrelled? I hope I'm not too intrusive, but Touya wouldn't say anything and I'm worried, for you both seem so sad and troubled. And I thought that you'd stay over night." Touya's father asked politely, but sincerely concerned. Yuki swallowed nervously, not knowing what he should tell Fujitaka-san. He didn't want to lie to the gentle man, who was so friendly to him, but how could he tell him the truth? It wasn't only about him not being entirely human, but about Touya and him being lovers. Touya had never told his father about it. So Yuki shook his head. "It's nothing. I just ... just need to go home ..." Fujitaka-san observed the fair-haired boy silently for some moments and then seemed to make a decision. "You've told Sakura-san that you're not in love with her, haven't you. I'm very grateful you took care not to hurt her too much by it." he paused a little before he went on "But I would be very sorry if I lost you as Touya-kun's love." Stunned Yuki raised his head and stared at Fujitaka-san, blinking, taking some moments to make sense of what he'd just heard. "Go-Gomene, but ... but you know ..." Yuki's utter surprise made Fujitaka's lips curve up in a gentle smile. "Of course, I'm Touya-kun's father. And you don't need to worry for you're always welcome here. As my son's love or just as yourself. Though I'd be very sorry if you and Touya-kun would end your relationship." Yuki felt strangely touched, especially since his heart was so heavy with worry and uncertainty. Thus he folded his slightly shaking hands and bowed. "Arigatou gousaimaste, Fujitaka-san." He said, his voice sounding husky with emotions. Suddenly the reassuring and comforting weight of Fujitaka's hand rested on his head. "I'm sure you and Touya can work this out. You're both very nice persons." Touya's father told him in a warm voice. Yuki blinked, swallowing hard. //But the problem is I'm more than one person.// He nodded slightly, not trusting his voice and not wanting to worry Fujitaka-san, for he had warmed him with his nice gesture. Touya's father hesitated, seeing that Tsukishiro-kun was still very distressed, but he didn't know how he could help the two boys. He hoped that having told them that he knew about their relationship and that he approved of it would offer some support and take a potential worry from them. Silently he brought Yuki down to the door, wishing him a good night and then watched the boy walk off down the street. -------------- Yuki felt miserable. That was an unusual feeling for him. It made the path back home to his house seem dull and lonely. He didn't even feel hungry! Why is Touya worrying so much about Yue? Would he sacrifice their love for him? Perhaps it shouldn't be so important that they actually made love, they were just sixteen anyway, but ... but he missed it so much. He ached to be touched by Touya, to feel him and to tease him. He wanted to make grim Touya blush. Yuki smiled, but as he became aware of it, the smile faded again. //It's ironic. I wouldn't love Touya so much, if he weren't such a kind person beneath his gruff exterior. But because he is so kind he worries so much about Yue. And now they've kissed.// He wondered if for Touya this was like kissing someone else or just him, his lover. Touya clearly cared for Yue and felt attracted to him. Yuki groaned softly. //Yue is me. I'm Yue. I can't feel jealous for myself ... well, obviously I can.// There grew a Sakura tree beside the moonlit path, its roots forming a welcoming, grassy cradle. Yuki didn't feel like going home to his empty house with the never present grandparents. He wasn't sure anymore, if they existed at all. With a little confused sob the slender, fair-haired boy slid down along the trunk off the tree, to huddle in the circle of its roots. Shivering slightly he hugged his legs against his chest. //What if Yue decides to take Touya as his lover and never turns back to my form? Would he do such a thing?// Yuki tried to be sensible. Touya loved him and he surely wouldn't care for a person who meant to do him harm. He trusted Touya, but sometimes he wasn't sure if he needed him as much as Yuki himself needed Touya. Funny, he hadn't been worried about Touya falling in love and leaving him for any of the girls at their class, not even for Akitsuki, who threw herself so much at the tall, dark boy. But Yue was something different. Somehow he was already Touya's lover. It seemed like he didn't trust Touya with himself. And even more it seemed like he had no choice at all. He had to accept that Touya and Yue had to be lovers as well, if he wanted to stay Touya's lover. Anyway Yue was already part of it all, if he was aware of everything that happened to him. He'd already shared every kiss he and Touya had given each other. But not truly shared, at least he hadn't shared the feeling behind them. Yuki bit his lower lip. But still Yue hadn't interfered and let him and Touya enjoy their love ... There was a soft sound and as Yuki opened his eyes a neatly folded handkerchief appeared in the field of his vision. Held in a small, kind hand. Startled Yuki looked up in Shaoran's grave face. "Li-kun?" The little boy pushed the handkerchief silently towards Yuki, his hand trembling a little and with a blush making his ears glow. But there showed concern in his brown eyes. Embarrassed Yuki tried to blink away his tears and smiled, though it turned out a bit quivery. "Arigatou gousaimaste." He said softly, while he reached out for the handkerchief, closing his pale fingers around it ... and around Li-kun's smaller hand. It felt good to touch that warm hand, to hold it. Shaoran's blush deepened as Yuki kept holding his hand with the handkerchief and seemed not to intend to let it go anytime soon. "T-T-Tsukishiro-san ..."He stammered and gulped. Even though he'd finally had to admit to himself that he loved Sakura, Yuki still made his heart race by that lingering touch. And by the shaky smile he gave him, while his wide, green eyes were still brimmed with tears, which had darkened the long lashes. He just couldn't bear to see people cry. It embarrassed him and made him feel awkward, but at the same time he wanted to help them. "I'll take you home." Shaoran told Yuki in an honourably, gentleman-like manner that was cute and touching, coming from such a sullen, little boy. Yuki couldn't help smiling for real now and he gently brushed his thumb over the back of Li-kun's hand. "That's very kind of you." But still Yuki hesitated to get up, for he didn't want to go home and have noone to talk to. Even though it was quite clear that the restrained younger boy would find it far too intrusive to ask for the cause of Yuki's obvious misery, he at least was company and showed his compassion in his own way. Anyway, what should he tell Li-kun if he wanted to know why he had been crying? Perhaps he could find a cut version of his problem ...He had noone else to talk to about his worries. Sakura wasn't the right person to talk about this. No. And otherwise he had just Touya. Noone but Touya. //Yue, onegai ... onegai, don't drive us apart. I can't be without him. It would be so lonely. Do you hear me, Yue?// Yuki's hand clenched around Li-kun's as nothing but silence answered his thoughts. Shaoran's eyes widened at the intense half-pleading, half-accusing look that Yuki gave him and he bit his lower lip, not to gasp at the painfully tight grip around his hand. This wasn't like sweet, gentle Yuki. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he just couldn't. With a start Yuki realized that the smaller hand in his own had gone white from the pressure he exerted on it. Quickly he relaxed his grip. "I'm sorry ... I'm sorry, Li-kun, I've hurt you. " He started to gently and carefully rub the life back into Shaoran's hand, thus being able to keep holding it still longer. "A-ano ... ano ... it's not bad ..." Li-kun blushed and meekly tugged at his hand that got so much unwanted attention. This made Yuki smile slightly and he distracting himself by fussing over the pretty, intense boy, unable to resist the urge to flirt and tease a little. "You're just as taciturn as Touya ... but just as kind." He told Shaoran and then chuckled as he saw the little boy's gaze darken. "You and Touya don't get along too well, but that's just cause you're quite similar in a way. And cause Touya has a sister-complex." Li-kun blushed and lowered his gaze. "You're in love with Sakura-chan, ne?" The blush deepened to a glowing red, but Shaoran didn't deny it. With a gentle smile Yuki ruffled the boy's hair. "Don't worry, at least not about Touya's attitude. He'll accept it if you love Sakura-chan. And I won't let him interfere." Suddenly Yuki fell silent and hung his head. //That's if Touya and I will stay close enough for me to influence him.// "Ano ... ano ..."Shaoran struggled with himself. "You're so sad because of him, because of Kinomoto-san?" he finally managed, sounding a bit awkward. Yuki bit his lower lip and nodded, then hesitated. "Though it's about Yue too ... mostly about Yue, I think." Patiently and a little clumsy Shaoran waited for Yuki to go on, observing him out of wide brown eyes that betrayed his compassion and worries, even if he failed to encourage Yuki to go on. Nor did he offer any counselling words. The little boy was just ready to listen, but that he took rather seriously. The intent listening expression on the small, grave face made Yuki open up, the words suddenly coming all by themselves.v "It seems I will have to share Touya with Yue, for he's always there, even if I'm in this form he is aware of everything. But I'm not aware of anything when Yue is there, so he can be all alone with Touya and I don't know anything about it. He is me so it's stupid to be jealous at him, but in truth Yue is a complete stranger to me." Yuki swallowed. "But Touya seems to care for him ... he seems to grow to like him a lot." With wide eyes Shaoran stared at the pale-haired boy, looking slightly embarrassed about that confession and about having been chosen as Yuki's confidant. As Yuki saw the little boy's discomfort he blushed slightly and lowered his gaze. "Gomene. I shouldn't have bothered you." Suddenly Shaoran shook his head vigorously. "No!" he hesitated, observing Yuki. "You haven't told Kinomoto-san how you feel about this, have you?" "No. Not that I'm jealous of Yue. It's just so hard to know what I should think about Yue." Yuki admitted giving Shaoran a half-hearted smile. There was an awkward silence between them for some moments as the little boy searched for something to help Yuki. Then Li-kun squeezed Yuki's hand gently, encouraging. "I think you'd like Yue. He counselled me about ... about how I felt for you." Shaoran said softly. "And Sakura she told me what you said to her ... at the planetarium. What Yue said to me and you to Sakura it sounded like coming from the same kind person. And that's the most important person for Touya." Aghast Yuki stared at Shaoran, who looked so very solemn and older than his appearance. Suddenly Yuki reached out and embraced the little boy. At first Shaoran froze startled, but then he wrapped his arms carefully and protectively around Yuki, holding him silently, feeling how the older boy relaxed, the tension and uncertainty flowing out of him. "Arigatou, Li-kun. Arigatou gousaimaste." Yuki finally whispered against the boy's slim shoulders before he detached himself again from Shaoran, smiling up at him. A sweet, full-hearted smile that made Li-kun's ears and cheeks glow. "A-ano ... I'll still take you home." End Part 3 | Part 4 | |
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