Divided Love Part 2 Touya gazed down at the small clip of paper, which he kept turning between his fingers. There was a circle on one side and a rather stylised little rabbit on the other. Moon, rabbit, moon, rabbit ... He couldn't remember doodling the two small pictures on the paper, but even less he could remember the sensei's instructions of this lesson. So he supposed he'd been drawing and staring at them instead of paying attention. //Moon and rabbit. How shall I solve this?// There hadn't been much time for talking this morning. He'd slept too long and would have altogether overslept if Yuki hadn't woken him with a generous breakfast ... of which most ended up being consumed by Yuki himself. The smaller boy had smiled a lot and avoided to talk about last night. Not feeling up to face their problem, Touya hadn't mentioned it either. But the memory of Yuki sobbing softly had been at the back of his mind all the time. He hoped that Yuki hadn't started to cry again while he was fast asleep. Touya looked over at the place to his left, gazing at Yuki, who was bent down over his book. The traces of last night could still be seen on the boy's pale face, if you knew what to look for. And Touya knew Yuki better than anyone else. Yuki's eyes were darkened by more than just the shadow of his lashes. They were slightly reddened. But even more than that the expression around his eye's told Touya that the other boy was very troubled about what had happened. Some turn at the corner of his warm, green eyes made his look a sad one even if he would have smiled, but Yuki had his lips pressed together as if to keep them from trembling. Touya realized that he was staring at his lover, while he was supposed to study the book on his desk. He couldn't bring himself to look away though. Suddenly Yuki raised his head and turned to gaze at Touya, his eyes slightly narrowing. The dark-haired boy tensed. Even though he had no longer any magic he still could see things. And this wasn't a Yuki-look anymore. "Yue ..." he whispered softly. But then Yuki blinked and smiled somewhat confused as he found himself having locked gazes with Touya. Touya's hand clenched around the small paper clip. //Yuki and I can never again be together alone.// But then Touya relaxed his hand again. They had never been together alone. It's just what Yuki is. Not human, but two forms. Damn, the longer he thought about it the harder it got to sort this out. It would be easier if Yue weren't aware of everything that happened to Yuki. Or if Yue wouldn't mind to be his lover as well. Another line of thought stole into his mind. //Would Yuki feel cheated on when Yue and I became lovers as well? Would I feel like cheating on Yuki? Do I want Yue as my lover?// Touya groaned inwardly. He had to stop thinking about this and just accept that Yuki and Yue were one and the same. It hadn't been a problem for him at first. "Touya?" concerned Yuki leaned closer to the dark-haired boy. "Are you all right?" he whispered. "Kinomoto-san. Tsukishiro-san. This is a lesson, no da." The sensei's voice suddenly made them both look up startled. "You should study your books and not each other." Touya felt a blush creep into his face at the sensei's short, but somehow knowing remark. Quickly he bent down over his books to hide the colour in his cheeks, feeling stupid about it. -------------- As the time for recess came Touya got up and walked straight over to Yuki. "Let's get outside?" he suggested. For a moment Yuki seemed to hesitate, but then he smiled and nodded. They left the classroom and strolled through the school's garden together. "I'd like to talk to Yue." Touya said calmly, without looking at Yuki. The smaller boy stared down on the ground where sakura-blossoms lay scattered amongst the grass. "It's not like I can do something about it." "I know, but Yue hears what you hear." Hidden Yuki looked up at his dark-haired lover, observing the play of light and shadow from the rustling leaves above them on his unreadable, handsome face. Touya's black, upturned eyes moved as he felt the other boy's gaze rest on him and he glanced down at Yuki from the corner of his eyes. With a questing expression he waited for Yuki to voice his thoughts. Yuki bit his lower lip. "About yesterday ... I can understand why you acted that way, even though it came a bit sudden. But, Touya, I don't know what to feel about it." The pale-haired boy confessed softly. "If it means we won't be able to be lovers anymore then I think I'm going to ... to hate Yue. I know it's stupid cause he's me ... or I'm him ... I ... he ..." Yuki exhaled shakily and looked up at his silent lover. Touya ached to take the smaller boy into his arms and to kiss away that sad, troubled expression on his face. But they were in the middle of the school garden and anyway, kisses wouldn't solve their problem. They were part of their problem. Without being aware of it he nevertheless had turned towards Yuki, backing him up against a tree. One of his arms came up, reaching for the other boy, but Touya redirected the movement and braced himself against the tree, putting his hand beside Yuki's head. "I don't think it's stupid." He said roughly. Yuki tried to smile, but the smile faded again, before it reached the corners of his mouth. The gentle, green eyes behind the glasses blinked as Yuki gazed up at Touya. //What does he see in me? How does he see me?//, he wondered uncertainly. "I don't even know what Yue looks like." Yuki voiced his thoughts. "The same as me?" "No, he looks different." Touya raised his other hand and trailed a finger along Yuki's sweetly, pointed chin. //Does Yue's skin feel just as soft as Yuki's?// "You want me to describe him to you?" Warmth spread through Yuki's body from the other boy's touch, making him feel real and there. Not fading, not changing. //Touya touches me, I feel his touch and his warmth. It's me who feels this and who loves this ... loves Touya.// He wanted to be touched more, to be held, so he couldn't just suddenly change and no longer feel this, no longer want it. After some hesitation Yuki nodded slightly. Yes, he wanted to know what Yue looked like. His other form that didn't feel for Touya the same way as he did. Touya observed Yuki silently for some time, trying to imagine Yue, searching for traces of him in Yuki's face. Yue's features came easily to his mind, the cold, distant beauty. "He's even paler than you." He finally said softly. "With cool, sharp eyes, the colour of amber. And his hair is long, spilling down past his heels to the ground ... silvery like moonlight. Your eyes and hair are much warmer and softer." Absently Touya brushed a strand of Yuki's hair behind his ear. Yuki swallowed. "He sounds like he is rather impressive." Touya thought about this, then nodded slightly. "He would be even without the wings and the strange clothes." "Wings?" Yuki blinked astonished and Touya couldn't help a grin. "Wings. Big wings." Suddenly Yuki looked queer. "Sometimes ... sometimes I think I dreamed of being enfolded in soft, feathery wings ..." he murmured. Touya threw him a narrow-eyed, sharp gaze, though he didn't comment on it right away. Meanwhile Yuki shook off the strange feeling of recognition and his thoughts moved on to something else, something that had been nagging at him. "You feel attracted to Yue, don't you?" Yuki's voice was gentle and he smiled, but Touya sensed the other boy's uncertainty. //Do I feel attracted to Yue?// He didn't quite know. The moon-born creature was breathtakingly beautiful, a beauty that called out to Touya. But on the other hand he seemed so distanced, untouchable. Touya realized again, that this conversation wasn't a private one between him and Yuki. Yue was aware of every word. He didn't want to answer Yuki and have Yue listen in on it, but he wanted to reassure his troubled, little lover. Therefore he bent down and brushed a chaste kiss against Yuki's lips. That should be ignorable for Yue ... and it spared him the answer. Yuki's fingers spread against the bark of the tree behind his back and his lips parted slightly, as he needy breathed in Touya's taste and smell. "Onichan! Yukito-san!" Sakura's cheerful voice startled the two older boys. Touya quickly straightened up and turned around, putting on a superior look, though he feared that his cheeks were just a little red. //Damn, he wouldn't blush in front of his little sister!// Yuki easily slipped on his dazzle-Sakura-smile. "Sakura-chan." He breathed in a slightly husky voice. Sometimes Touya really wondered if Yuki was aware of how he turned the little-ones' heads and if he did it on purpose. He should realize how seductive his smile and voice were. Hell, it made him grow slightly hot. If Yuki weren't that gentle and caring, Touya would have been rather worried by his attitude towards his little sister. Sakura came to a skipping halt in front of them, carrying two lunch boxes clutched against her chest. She wasn't alone though. Tomoyo and the Hong-Kong-brat tugged along behind her, stopping a few polite steps off. Automatically Touya's gaze darkened. That sullen, little boy was hanging around Sakura far too much lately. And even worse he was up to his so easily flushing ears into those magical troubles evolving around his little sister. Touya threw the brat a narrow eyed glare, which the little, brown-haired boy answered with an equally disliking gaze. Tomoyo on the other hand greeted them with a sweet smile. "Onichan! Yukito-san! Father made this lunch boxes for you." Sakura went on, offering the boxes to the two older boys. One of the boxes was perceptively larger than the other. Yuki smiled and bent down, taking the larger box. "Arigatou, Sakura-chan!" The little girl chuckled and raised her now free arm behind her head in an embarrassed gesture. Even though Yuki had told her that her love for him was like the love she felt for her father, his smile and attitude still made her blush. Her brother was just so lucky to have someone like Yukito-san love him. Carefully she shot her tall, dark brother a questing, sideways glance, to find him gazing down at her with his arms crossed. Sakura frowned slightly and leaned closer to Yuki. "He wasn't mean to you, was he?" she whispered. The pale-haired boy chuckled softly and reached out to caress over Sakura's bangs. "I think he doesn't dare, knowing Sakura-chan would revenge me." He teased in a gentle voice. //Touya's really trying to be nice to both of me, even though that must be quite difficult.// For a moment Sakura was puzzled at the strange expression in Yuki's eyes, but then felt her worries soothed by the boy's sweet smile. Touya noticed that the brat was observing Sakura and Yuki uncertainly. First that little intruder had been after Yuki, and now he seemed to have developed an interest in his little sister. But Touya hadn't forgotten how he had been threatening and grapping Sakura, the first time he had seen him, even if everyone else seemed to no longer think of it. Tomoyo clearly was aware of what was going on and approved of it, for she looked at the grave, little boy with a smile far too knowing for a girl of her age. It was amazing how Sakura could be so innocent and so oblivious to certain things with people like Tomoyo and Yuki around her. Sakura turned to her brother handing him his lunchbox, completely unaware of his thoughts. "Here Onichan." She said with an open, cheerful gaze. Touya took the box gruffly, fighting the urge to hug her. "Thanks. Though I'm amazed you didn't eat it yourself, monster." He remarked dryly instead. To Touya's surprise ... and annoyance ... Sakura just shortly clenched her hands into fists. Then she relaxed them again and suddenly looked concerned at her brother. "Are you all right, Onichan?" she asked shyly "I mean cause you didn't make it home yesterday." Silently Touya gazed down at her, then suddenly gave her a small smile and put his hand roughly on her head. That was all the answer she got. He didn't feel like lying by saying everything was fine, but he certainly wouldn't discuss his and Yuki's problem with his little sister. No way. Sakura looked surprise at her brother's unexpected show of affection, but then she answered it with a bright smile. "Father said you could bring Yukito-san for dinner." Hurriedly she turned back to Yuki and added, "If you'd like to." Almost reflexively Yuki smiled. "I'd be happy to, Sakura-chan." Suddenly he hesitated and gazed questing up at Touya. Sakura was quite confused as she sensed the uncertain tension between the two older boys. That was something she'd never felt between them. //Yuki is no longer sure if he's welcome to me//, Touya realized with a sudden chilling shock. //This shouldn't be happening. Have I made him feel so uncertain? He said he understood about last night...// Touya didn't notice that he was looking rather sharply at Yuki, while he worried about the other boy. That gaze made Yuki's heart contract with fear and uncertainty. Tomoyo suddenly stepped forward and took Sakura's hand with a smile. "Sakura-chan, we should go. Rika-chan and the others will be wondering if we forgot that we promised to meet them." Blinking wide-eyed Sakura pulled her gaze away from Touya and Yukito. "Ungh ..." "Good by, Tsukishiro-san, Kinomoto-san." Tomoyo piped sweetly and ushered the confused Sakura away, past Li-kun, who gazed after the two girls. Before he followed them he turned back to Touya and Yuki, throwing them a piercing glance out of his deep-brown eyes. Then he just turned and ran off, but after a few steps the small boy stumbled slightly and looked around in alert. He'd felt a powerful ki for a moment. Clow's presence. But there was no one around. Eriol balanced silently on the tree branch, waiting for Li-kun beneath him to leave, before he returned his full attention to Touya and Yukito. Oblivious to their secret observer Touya gazed searchingly down at Yuki. The pale-haired boy shifted uncomfortably, avoiding Touya's gaze. "Yuki." Touya said roughly. Suddenly he reached out and gripped the other boy's chin to make him look up. Startled Yuki gasped and stared up at his tall lover with an almost scared expression. The look slightly hurt Touya and he felt a surge of anger rise up inside him against Yue. He fought it, hoping it hadn't shown in his eyes and alienated Yuki further from him. "Yuki. I'm happy you'll come and have dinner with us." He finally told Yuki, simply and a little harshly. But it was that clumsy harshness of the simple statement that brought a smile to Yuki's lips. "Gomene, Touya." Yuki said softly. The words warmed Touya, but even more it warmed him to see that the smile reached up to his lover's eyes, making them sparkle all Yuki-like. Only half aware of the thought he wondered if Yue could smile like that too ... ---------------- After the two boys had emptied their lunch boxes together and strolled back towards the school building, Eriol jumped down from his perch on the tree. His gaze followed Touya and Yukito, noticing that they walked so close that their arms and shoulders brushed. But Eriol was aware of the crack in their relationship and he knew the cause for it, ... guessed it at least. "It's still too early for us to meet, Yue. But I think I'll have to talk to you nevertheless." The small boy said to himself with a startlingly deep and calm voice. ---------------- Yuki clamped his schoolbag under one arm so he had both hands free to open the wrappings of the chocolate bar. It was still some time till dinner and he was already hungry. Moreover the sweet taste of the chocolate gave him some comfort while he had to walk home alone. Touya was the week's classroom monitor with someone else and there were quite a few things that had to be done. So he'd told Yuki not to wait for him, but to go home and get the stuff he needed to stay over night at his place. Yuki's heart had sped up at the causal invitation. To be welcome for dinner had been so reassuring, but Touya wanted him to stay even for the night. Surely there would turn up a way to solve all this. They could talk about it the whole night. Yuki had to smile gently, while he suckled at the chocolate, letting it melt on his tongue. //If Touya is up to it and doesn't suddenly fall asleep on me again.// "Yukito-san." Surprised Yuki turned around as a gentle voice called softly out to him. He found a young boy with black hair and glasses standing in a side lane, leading away from the street, gazing at him with a benevolent smile. A somehow familiar smile ... Yuki blinked, opening his mouth to answer the boy as he suddenly dropped his schoolbag and the chocolate-bar. Huge, soft wings enfolded him and he lost his awareness in feathery oblivion. Spreading the wings again Yue flew into the side lane landing soundlessly in front off Eriol. Disbelieving he stared at the small, black-haired boy, then suddenly he knelt down and took Eriol's hands between his own. "Clow-san?! Why? What?" Eriol smiled gently. "Yes, I'm Clow Reed's rebirth." He confirmed Yue's assumption. "Demo ..." Confused Yue blinked, searching the unfamiliar, small face that still emanated Clow's ki. It even held Clow's calm and completely controlled, peaceful expression. "What's this all about? If you're alive why don't you get us back, me, Kerberos and the cards? You must have known we are here. You must have sensed our presence like we sensed yours." The pale creature's voice held an accusing tone that was underlayed by the hurt of betrayal. "Why did you leave us!" For a moment Eriol just observed Yue, feeling Clow's affection for his beautiful creation. But Eriol thought that Yue deserved more than this dispassionate love. He reached out and gently caressed through the moonlight hair. "My Yue. I'm not the same as Clow ... not exactly." He explained, going on calmly but firmly before Yue could protest. "I didn't want you to know about this yet, but I need to tell you something important. It's about your two forms ... and about whom you love." Yue's lips tightened and he gazed stubbornly and with unexpected fervour at Eriol. "I know whom I ... love ... even though ..." By putting a finger against Yue's lips, Eriol silenced the pale beauty. "I know your heart is still in the past, because you remember it, unlike Yukito ... but are you sure about how you feel for Clow?" A spark of cold defiance lit up Yue's eyes. "I love you, Clow!" he said fiercely. Suddenly he reached out, pushing Eriol's arm away and leaned forward to press his lips against the boy's soft, warm mouth. //It feels different from Touya's ...,// Yue thought absently. Gently Eriol took hold of Yue's shoulders, but as he felt Yue's tongue trying to slide between his lips he ended the kiss chastely, carefully pushing him back. He bore the bishonen's confused and hurt gaze with a small, tender smile. "Yue ..." he implored softly "Clow created you. How we feel about you is closer to the feelings of a father for his child than to anything else." Yue stared at the boy then suddenly shook his head. "No ... no ..." Despite the denial uncertainty showed in Yue's eyes and a sense of loss. "You know it, Yue. You've got to let go of Clow." Eriol gathered the tall, slender creature in his arms, as he started to wipe the immediate memory of this meeting from Yue's mind. But the effect the words had had on Yue's feelings, should still be there. It should be easier for him now to accept the choice of Yuki's heart. At least Eriol hoped so. He bent down and put a light kiss on Yue's forehead, then drew back again and made him change back to Yukito. With a soft moan Yuki's eyes fluttered open and he stared confused at Eriol. "What ...?" He couldn't remember how he came to be embraced by the strange dark-haired boy and smiled embarrassed. Carefully Eriol helped Yuki get up. "You've stumbled and I caught you." He explained calmly, then went to pick up the other boy's schoolbag and the chocolate bar. "Here. I hope you're all right." Yuki nodded, feeling somewhat dazed. "Uhm ... Thanks." For a moment he just stared at his schoolbag and the sweet, trying to make sense of them. Then he took them, turned and walked off, sorting out his thoughts. Touya. He'd been invited for dinner and to stay over night at Touya's place ... With a slight amused smile Eriol watched the fair-haired boy walk down the street while suckling thoughtfully at the chocolate. End Part 2 | Part 3 | | Tavernroom | Tales | Hosted by www.Geocities.ws