*Cough *cough
Father, I think i'm developing the black lung. It's not very well ventilated down there.

For god's sake derek, u've only been down there one day. Come back to me in 30 years.
*water is the essence of moisture, and moisture is the essence of beauty*
Why'd you have to come back to this damn town derek?
I wanted to make a new life for myself.
By walking around with your weiner hanging out!??!
I only wanted to make you proud pop.
You're dead to me. You're more dead to me than your dead mother. I'm just glad she's not alive to see you as a mermaid!
MERMAN!! *cough *cough MERMAN!! *cough *cough *cough

Who am I?
*ding-a-ling-a-ding
Hello?
Derek!
God?
What the hell are you talking about derek? you'd better hurry down here, Mugatu has an offer you can't refuse!

~Derek  ~Derek's Dad
~Derek  ~Maury Ballstien
DER*EK ZOO*LAN*DER!
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