July 16, 2003
How do things effect us? I'm always feeling out of whack. I guess it's really the state of mind you are in. The good mood or bad mood at the time.... There are people who get into car accidents and not even flinch... then there are people who get the slightest paper cut and ball their eyes out...well this is all just the physical side of it... What is it that makes us emotionally strong to phase out all the little petty worries that we go through. Days at work, you have it rough, things get though and as you are leaving the office you find yourself hanging on to worries that should have been left behind the second you left the building. Why do we ponder onto things that are out of our control.... Even if we are the ones that brought these things onto ourselves. Some days we just don't realize how petting things are or how thinking about prior decisions will make no effect on the now....
I'm feeling like this world is caving in... Too many things to shelter off with a smile on my face. Too much drama to ignore. Too much complications to ease my simple life. Why is it so easy to just phase these things all out.... Maybe there is just too much and that's what makes the peace.. There is a sense of balance... Good to Bad, Bad to Good... remembering to keep in mind that with one comes the other... I just want to be stronger some days, to able to turn away.... and I just want to be weaker some days, to feel the emotions it takes to hold a hand...
I wish the switch would be in my control. In my power. Laugh and Cry. Heart and Hate. Stand and Fall. On and Off.....
Simple.. Like that.....
Not so simple though.....