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The hard truth of life is that everything is always changing. Things will go on beyond your control and when there seems to be some flow and order, there is not. Be ready for anything? I'd like to think of myself as someone who can handle the pain and devastation of this world quite well and I look at my friends and I'd like to think the same of them... But as we all know, there are days where the walls break down, the barriers to emotions get flooded and our brains are no longer strong to the outside and inside world... These are our moments of weakness. We all experience these times no matter who we are. These are the days we look back and wish to forget.

Why are these weaknesses so exposed and so easily controlled. I look at myself at a younger time... Now I can look at it in two ways. I was a shadow of myself then. The person there had no clue. No idea to the mechanics of it all. Impressionable. Image conscience. Looking for love. Macho pride. Worried about who's who. Friendship was just based on numbers. Shadow of myself. Such moments of weakness. Such lessons to learn. Looking back, it's hard to believe that there was such a person. It's all strange and in some ways embarrassing. How do they see me now? I look at my relationships. How a child was trying to fill a man's shoe. How little I knew about life and love. It was a head first dive into everything. Raw was the way my emotions came out. Nothing made sense. Just another lost face in the clutter....

I look again.

It was weakness. But does it matter. It was the journey to get from then to now. You are here so who cares. There is still a ways to go. It was weakness to allow the learning. It was weakness to cry over the girl. It was weakness to make meaningless friendships. It was weakness. Nothing matters now because it's all past. It's all to build on. To get from one step to the next. These things we look upon, are just things to reflect, and ponder, and in some ways laugh. The reason we look back is so we can look forward. Learn from the mistakes and try not to make any more. Try to make it better. I look and I don't see it wrong, then, I just see the right, now. I look again...

It was all meant to get to this point. There are no moments of weakness. There are only moments of strength. When faced with our fears, when faced with the unknown, when faced with these weaknesses, that's when we can decide. We decide to build ourselves to be better than we had imagined and prove that there are no fears and no doubts to anything.... Not to live in shadows anymore but to step out and become the people we are and the kind of person that we have potential to be. These are our moments of weakness... the kind of moments that makes us strong, the kind of moments that make us learn, and the kind of moments that bring meaning to this life.....