THE VATICAN RAG!
By TOM LEHRER
We may as well laugh before the crazy bastards kill us!
(Enjoy the song before attempting to read the text)
If, as a Catholic, you feel unfairly picked on, it's because your religion is funnier than most. All religious leaders dress in a peculiar fashion, if only to distinguish themselves from their victims. But none look as absurd, bizarre and obscene as your popes, bishops and beastly priests. I say "obscene" because their brocade ball gowns alone must cost enough to feed the starving masses. Then there's the skyscraper helmets, shepherd's crooks, cassocks and cummerbunds, all served up with pose celibacy, venerations and choir boy penetrations, plus your rosaries, your relics, your blood-wine, your flesh-wafers, your bells and whistles, your saints and virgins, your plaster statues, your holy bleeding trinity, your sacraments, your confessionals, your genuflecting and grovelling and prostrating and mumbling and all the trimmings and trappings of the Catholic faith... you probably don't realise how preposterous it all seems to normal people. You are gimmick crazy!
And to top it all, the most lavish, luxurious, oppulent, extravagent, and bizarre city ever built upon this planet � the Vatican! An opulent monstrosity that boasts power and wealth on an unimaginable and indescribable scale. It's the antithesis of everything Jesus stood for and, paradoxically, everything the Catholic Church claims to represent. The Catholic Church shits on Jesus. It's as close to the teachings of its so-called "Christ" as I am to the planet Jupiter.
Imbeciles for Jesus
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