ACT TWO
Disclaimer: I own everyone and everything in this story. And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.
Author's Notes: Gee, I didn't realize how long it's been since I've updated this thing. My only excuses are that my hard drive crashed and that it takes forever to html this story. I've been reeeeally lax in posting this (this is the start of Act Two and I've actually completed up to mid-Act Four at the moment.) Still, I figure with all that's going on in the world, everyone could use a good laugh. As some wise guy or other said, "There is no situation that cannot be bettered by the sound of laughter." Actually, I just made that up, but it sounded deep, didn't it? :)
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(Takeru and Iori stand in front of the closed curtain. With them are Patamon and Armadimon.)
Armadimon: How come I�m not in this one?
Patamon: Hey, at least you got a spot in the first play.
Takeru: Don�t worry, I�m sure it was just an oversight.
Patamon: (Sulking) Hmmph.
Iori: I�m sorry to interrupt, but we have narration to do.
Armadimon: Just shove us to one side, why don�t you?
Iori: Not now, Armadimon. Now, where were we? Oh yes. Ken and company have set off on their quest to save Prince Daisuke. They begin making their way to the fearsome Drokken Pass.
(The curtain opens to reveal said adventurers. Ken is dressed in his normal clothes, but his Kaiser whip is at his side. Wormmon sits on his shoulder. Hikari is clinging to Miyako�s arm. With her is Plotmon, and Hawkmon stands on Miyako�s other side. Taichi is looking back somewhat nervously.)
Taichi: I hope Yamato�s okay without me.
Ken: (Impatient) I�m sure he�ll be fine. Right now, the most important thing is to find my Daisuke!
Hikari: That�s why I brought Plotmon. If you have something of Daisuke�s with you, she can sniff it and follow his trail.
Hawkmon: (To Plotmon) You�re going to act like a common bloodhound?
Plotmon: (Shrugging) Hey, at least I have a part this time.
Miyako: So, Ken, do you have anything of Daisuke�s?
Ken: I think so. (He digs in his pockets and finally pulls out an old sock.) How�s this?
Hikari: I think that�ll work.
(Ken leans down and offers the sock to Plotmon. She sniffs it and immediately keels over from the smell.)
Miyako: Who didn�t see that coming?
Hikari: (Shaking her head) Anything for a cheap laugh.
Ken: I think I�ve got something else in here....somewhere...
(Ken looks while Wormmon and Hawkmon slap Plotmon awake. Ken finally pulls a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket.)
Ken: Here! These are Daisuke�s.
(Everyone eyes him for a moment, then they all take a collective step backwards.)
Ken: What?
Taichi: I think I speak for us all when I say that is far more information than I ever wanted to know.
Ken: And these were Daisuke�s favorite handcuffs, too. (He sniffles) I miss him so much...having a whip loses all its fun without someone around to share it with.
Miyako: And again with the too much information.
Ken: Oh shut up. Is Plotmon going to help me find Daisuke or not?
Plotmon: I can�t believe I�m doing this.... (Hesitantly she steps forward and sniffs the handcuffs.)
Hikari: Well? Do you have the prince�s scent?
Plotmon: (Looking at Ken with a faintly disgusted expression) Among other things.
Ken: Skip the commentary and start leading.
Hawkmon: You don�t have to be rude to her, you know.
Ken: Keep the comments to yourself unless you want me to make you into fried chicken.
Hawkmon: Um, I�m not a chicken, actually, I�m a--
Ken: (Dangerously) You�re a what?
Hawkmon: (Weakly) Uh...a chicken. I�m a chicken.
Ken: Very good.
(Plotmon starts walking, following the scent. Ken is right behind her, with the others following. Wormmon walks over to Hawkmon.)
Wormmon: (Whispering confidentially) Sorry about that. My Ken-chan�s been a little, uh, tense since Daisuke got kidnapped.
Hawkmon: No, really?
Ken: (Hearing them) Hey, give me a break! They kidnapped my husband, what do you expect? (Sniffles) Who knows what horrible things King Oikawa could be doing to my Daisuke?
(The scene immediately switches to Oikawa�s castle. Daisuke and Chibimon are locked in a prison cell. Mummymon sits outside of the cell. There is a table littered with cards between him and Daisuke.)
Mummymon: Got any threes?
Daisuke: No! Go fish, sucker!
Chibimon: Can we play poker after this?
Daisuke: (Eyeing Mummymon) As long as it�s not strip poker.
Mummymon: Your turn.
Daisuke: All right. Got any fives?
Mummymon: (Handing over the cards) You cheated!
Daisuke: Did not!
Mummymon: Did so!
Daisuke: Did not times infinity!
Mummymon: Did so times infinity!
(Archnemon steps into the dungeon and shakes her head.)
Archnemon: Enough of this foolishness. The boss wants us, Mummymon.
Mummymon: It feels so good to be needed.
Daisuke: Hey! Is anyone going to tell me why I�ve been kidnapped?
Archnemon: Let me get this straight. You want us to tell you, our captive, our entire evil plan, outlining it in great detail and thus giving you an edge over us if you happen to escape or be rescued? Is that it?
Daisuke: Uh....yeah, actually.
Archnemon: Later. That�s the boss�s job, not ours.
Mummymon: We�re just the bumbling minions.
Archnemon: Speak for yourself, idiot.
Daisuke: Aw, come on. Just a little hint, please?
Archnemon: I said no!
Daisuke: How about if we try and guess?
Chibimon: Does it have something to do with food?
Archnemon: Stop pestering me! Come along, Mummymon.
Mummymon: Coming dear!
(The two exit the dungeon, leaving Daisuke and Chibimon alone.)
Daisuke: They�re no fun. I hope Ken rescues me soon.
Chibimon: He�s probably already on his way.
Daisuke: I hope so. Just think what we could do with those manacles over there!
Chibimon: (Sweatdropping) Uh....is this one of those things you�ll tell me when I�m older, Daisuke?
Daisuke: Um....maybe.
(Meanwhile, in Oikawa�s throne room...)
Archnemon: You called us?
Oikawa: Yes. How is the prince? Is he enjoying the accommodations?
Mummymon: Uh....he�s in a dungeon, boss.
Oikawa: I know that, you fool! Don�t you recognize classic villain sarcasm when you hear it?
Archnemon: Apparently not. Is there anything else you wanted?
Oikawa: CinderKen is on his way to save his dear groom.
Mummymon: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Oikawa: A good thing. A very good thing, as he will soon be walking into my cleverly laid trap...
Archnemon: Why are you telling us this?
Oikawa: It�s called exposition, dear minion.
(The scene changes to Ken and company, who are following Plotmon into a narrow canyon that would be just perfect for an ambush.)
Hikari: Gee, this narrow canyon would be just perfect for an ambush.
Taichi: Yet we go in anyway. Why is that?
Miyako: Because our leader is obsessed?
Ken: In love. I�m not obsessed, I�m in love. There is a difference, you know. I don�t care if we�re walking into a trap, as long as it brings me to my Daisuke.
Hikari: Definitely obsessed.
Ken: Look who�s talking.
(Suddenly they are distracted by the sounds of maniacal laughter.)
Taichi: What was that?
Miyako: If I didn�t know better, I�d say that was maniacal laughter.
Sora: You�d say right!
(Suddenly, Sora and Koushiro jump down in front of them. They are both wearing black outfits with big red O�s on them, and they are accompanied by Piyomon, who is looking as fierce as a pink bird can possibly look.)
Taichi: Koushiro?!
Hikari: Sora! There you are!
Sora: Yes, here I am, your ignored sister!
Koushiro: Miss me, Taichi? After you dumped me!
Ken: I hate to interrupt your lovers spat, but I have a prince to rescue.
Piyomon: Don�t take a step farther!
Taichi: Koushiro, what�s going on here?
Koushiro: Revenge, my dear Taichi. Revenge.
Sora: After you left the two of us out in the cold, we fled the kingdom in shame. While we wandered, alone and heartbroken, we met Piyomon, who took us to King Oikawa. He has made us his loyal servants.
Ken: You work for Oikawa?! Then--
Koushiro: That�s right! We�ve come to stop you from rescuing the prince!
Piyomon: But first....our introduction!
Hikari: (Sweatdropping) Introduction?
Sora: That�s right: introduction!
If there is darkness at the end of the universe,
Let us show you the light!
Run! Sparkle! Show how you shine!
Piyomon: That's right!
Koushiro: Love is justice, justice is evil,
A recurring trick of drama.
Look! We are the stars of this play!
Ken: Ahem. Excuse me?
Sora & Koushiro: Shut up!
Koushiro: Today will be our day for victory!
Sora: There is a light at the end of the universe.
There you will find our faces.
Sora!
Koushiro: Koushiro!
Piyomon: And Piyomon!
Koushiro: Quiet, you! (Slaps her)
Piyomon: Ouch!
Koushiro: This is our song!
Sora: (Pushing him away from Piyomon) What are you doing? We�re singing here!
Koushiro: Geez, sorry.
Sora: Dreams are reality? Reality will be a nightmare,
Once we assume command.
Watch! We open a flower!
Today will be our day for victory!
Koushiro: Soil is the Earth.
The Earth is nice.
If we had time, we�d eat some rice.
Miyako: Uh....okay then.
Koushiro: From the bottom,
To the bottom,
The Earth is to turn.
All three: One time, two times, three times and, lots of whirling, ii kanji!
Four times, five times, six times, and, steadily increasing, ii kanji!
But before that, seven times thump, thud, cue!
The usual thud!
Taichi: This is a very strange introduction, isn�t it?
Sora: But that won't stop us, we are dauntless!
Piyomon: The sky's the limit!
Sora: We'll prove it!
Koushiro: How?!
Piyomon: How?!?!
Sora: (Angrily) How?!?!?!
Answer:
It's our duty.
Piyomon: No, no....
Shall we do it?
Koushiro: We'll give you this!
Sora: Listen to us about this and that!
The answer we give will be the universe's sympathy!
Koushiro: To prevent the universe's destruction!
Sora: To protect the universe's peace!
Koushiro: To bring love and honesty's evils to light!
Sora: We are the lovely, charming villains!
Sora!
Koushiro: Koushiro!
The couple from Oikawa�s kingdom soars through the galaxy!
A white hole...a white tomorrow is waiting for us!
Piyomon: That's right!
Koushiro: Hooray! This song sounds pretty good!
This is major, imperceivable!
Conquest!
Sora: Showdown!
Sora!
Koushiro: Koushiro!
With a barrier the size of an ocean gorge
Piyomon: And a gatekeeper
Under the barrier
Ken: What the hell?
Sora: If there is darkness at the end of the universe,
Let us show you the light!
Run! Sparkle! Show how you shine!
Piyomon: That's right....
Koushiro: Love is justice, justice is evil,
A recurring trick of drama.
Sora: Dreams are reality? Reality will be a nightmare,
Once we assume command.
Look! We are the stars of this play!
Ken: Says who?
All three: Today will be our day for victory!
(They wait expectantly for applause. Ken and company exchange glances.)
Hawkmon: This has been the most trying day...
Sora: Didn�t you like our introduction?!
Hikari: (Burying her head in Miyako�s shoulder) My poor sister....all her good taste has gone out the window.
Miyako: There, there, it�s okay. (She pats Hikari�s back and somehow they end up lip-locked.)
Sora: Don�t kiss when I�m having my revenge!
Koushiro: Where is your dear Yamato, Taichi? Did he dump you?
Taichi: I�ll have you know, he�s in the palace preserving his skin.
Koushiro: Hmmph. Well, at least my hair color is natural, if you know what I mean.
Taichi: Oh, Yamato�s going to kill you when he hears about that comment.
Sora: Enough banter! Piyomon, the net!
Piyomon: Right! (She flies behind a rock and pulls on a string. Ken and the others suddenly find themselves in a net suspended from a tree.)
Ken: (To Wormmon) Can you chew through the net?
Wormmon: (Tries to chew through it, but fails) It�s too tough to chew through!
Plotmon: It�s like bad doggy treats.
Piyomon: You�ll never escape our clever trap. We specifically made that net too thick for Digimon to break!
Sora: Say goodbye to your prince, CinderKen. Now that we�ve captured you, you�re never going to see him again! (She starts laughing maniacally.)
Wormmon: Uh oh. She called him CinderKen.
Plotmon: Is that a bad thing?
Wormmon: Get out of his way if you want to live.
(Ken dives at the side of the net and tries to reach Sora�s neck through it.)
Ken: Grr....nobody calls me CinderKen and gets away with it! I�m not a peasant anymore, I�m the--uh, the--the--
Miyako: We never did get you a title, did we?
Taichi: How about the prince�s consort?
Ken: That�ll do. If we ever get out of here to rescue him, that is.
Koushiro: It doesn�t matter who you are. You�re now our prisoner. All of you are. (He joins in with Sora�s maniacal laughter.)
Hikari: What�s so funny, anyway?
Piyomon: Nothing. Maniacal laughter�s just a proven stress reliever, that�s all.
Hikari:.....Oh.
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End of Act Two, Part One. Ta da! BTW, for those of you who don't know, Plotmon is Salanon's Japanese name. The song in this part was "Roketto Dan Yo Eien Ni" from Pokemon. Yes, that's right, Sora and Koushiro sang the Team Rocket song (with a few little tweaks in the dialouge of course.) I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.