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| As the Tummy Turns! |
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| 10/27/04 Miss Kimmie is feeling moody today�read on as to why� Okay, so who should call me this week? Michael! aka �Mystery Man��screw him, I am so not protecting his identity anymore! We are supposed to be just friends � so why am I his dirty little secret? He doesn�t even wanting me telling our mutual friends I saw him! Fine! I won�t tell them�I�ll just let the rest of the world know via the Internet. He led me to believe he would be breaking up with his girlfriend to be with me (he even called her an �f�ing c-word�, and he used the actual words, not the polite edit shown here!). All he ever used to do is complain about how unhappy he was with her; how she doesn�t fulfill him, how she never wants sex, blah�blah�blah. I have come to the conclusion that some people just like being miserable. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people! I guess I am just tired of falling for guys who claim to care, but aren�t free to love me back. A friend once told me I am subconsciously afraid of ending up like my parents, and so I chose unavailable men. That�s such a load of B.S.�I am fully aware that I am afraid of ending up like my parents! As for who I chose�does anyone ever really chose who they fall in love with? �Cause if that were the case, I would have listened to what my Grandma told me when I was 10 years old, which was �Stay away from that blonde boy, Kimmie. He�s one of those bad-boys that smokes dope!� [Ed. Note: The blonde boy was a 15-year-old Paul�] So anyway, I was feeling waaaaay moody while getting ready for work this morning, and while looking for my shoes (Tazzy-cat likes to hide them under my bed) I find my Bible [Ed. Note�Kimmie�s brother is the priest, not Kimmie herself�] I open it up to see what I can see, and I open it to�the Book of Job. Great, the most depressive person in history. That left me feeling petty about my own problems, which made me feel even worse� I have decided that I am going to go back to being a social hermit. I know that is so emotionally unhealthy; but it�s better than hearing nasty comments like, �How long has it been since you�ve had a boyfriend? A whole week?� For the record, I have been single for a year and a half now�which is why I feel free to write this �Bridget Jonesesque� saga. (Like I would ever share the details of a committed relationship!) Speaking of Bridget Jones (remember her weight struggles?), I am reminded of something Kathy Bates says in Fried Green Tomatoes��I wish I had the courage to get really, really fat�. Not that I do wish that; but sometimes I think it would be easier to be a person that people see as a non-sexual entity�just a human blob. Not male, not female�just an �it�. Someone for whom, as Michael put it, �food is their orgasm� (talk about eating your emotions�). That way, I wouldn�t have to hear how people tell me how beautiful they think I am, even as they break my heart. Will Miss Kimmie snap out of her blue mood? Will she stick to her diet and wear that slinky red velvet gown for Christmas? Will this be the first holiday season in years that she is single? [Kimmie interjects: Big whoop. The last guy I dated who actually bought me a Christmas gift was Geoffrey - 10 years ago!!!] Stay tuned for the answers to these questions and more in the next exciting episode of As the Tummy Turns! |