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			CHILDRENS BOOKS THAT DIDN'T MAKE THE SHELVES DAD'S NEW WIFE ROBERT YOU ARE DIFFERANT AND THAT'S BAD FUN 4 LETTER WORDS TO KNOW AND SHARE THE KIDS GUIDE TO HITCH HIKING KATHY WAS SO BAD HER MUM STOPPED LOVING HER CURIOUS GEORGE AND THE HIGH VOLTAGE FENCE ALL CATS GO TO HELL THAT'S IT I'M PUTTING YOU UP FOR ADOPTION SOME KITTY'S CAN FLY STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY KICKING SCREAMING AND CRYING GET YOUR WAY THINGS RICH KIDS HAVE YOU NEVER WILL THE MAN ON THE MOON IS ACTUALLY SATAN WHY CAN'T MR FORK AND MS POWERPOINT BE FRIENDS DADDY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY CONFUSIOUS SAYS MAN WITH HOLE IN POCKET FEEL COCKY ALL DAY MAN WHO DROP WATCH IN TOILET HAVE SHITTY TIME MAN WITH NO LEGS BUMS AROUND PUT ROOSTER IN FREEZER TO GET STIFF COCK WOMEN WHO WEAR G STRING HIGH ON CRACK BASEBALL WRONG MAN WITH 4 BALL CAN'T WALK SHOW OFF ALWAYS SHOW UP IN A SHOW DOWN WOMEN WHO POUNCE ON DEAD ROOSTER GO DOWN ON LIMP COCK MEN WHO PULL OUT TO FAST LEAVE RUBBER MAN WHO SMOKE POT CHOKE ON HANDLE MAN WITH HAND IN POCKET HAVE BALL FIND OLD MAN IN DARK... NOT HARD GIRL LAID IN TOMB SOON TO BE MUMMY MAN WHO BUT WET CAT PAY FOR STINKING WET PUSSY

	DAY 659- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 662- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed. DAY 669- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 681- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan. DAY 688- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 690- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 699- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The Dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

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