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CHAPTER 25 Elke, Heather and Jessie showed up on the set date. (Ebony phoned Kim to tell her that the tour of Germany had been extended by the purchase of tickets for Das Phantom der Oper, and the pre-purchase of tickets for a Sisters of Mercy concert that would see both Ebony and Raine back in Germany come June.) Elke showed up in the parking lot of Kim’s apartment complex right as Kim was heading off to Elke’s own flat to welcome her home. She jumped Kim, wrapping her arms around her in a death grip, ranting about how much she had hated Australia, hated its weather, hated so much time alone with the band’s grungy drummer, hated the utter lack of Kim. Then she kissed Kim, none too innocently, and said she’d never take a vacation from her again. “I just can’t stand it, luv. You’re always here, and then when you weren’t with me... Too much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you!” Kim withdrew from the embrace, her mind still spinning from the kiss, and she narrowed her eyes. “Uh, you left angry with me, Elke.” “And I’m sorry. I had no right. Heather is a bitch. Then again, aren’t we all? But you’re a bitch I can really go for, y’know? My kind of bitch, while Heather can be maddeningly self-righteous.” “Glad to know you’ve finally noticed.” “Oh, I have. Spend a whole month with her and no one else! You’ll be missing me like all bloody hell, luv, believe me.” “I have missed you.” “You have?” Elke’s eyes flashed with such an apparent hope that Kim took a step back. “Yeh. Haven’t had much of anyone to talk to.” “Or do anything else with, hm?” Elke’s sheer lack of subtlety was making Kim feel sick. This just wasn’t what she wanted... Wasn’t what she needed! Elke was her best friend, her lead bloody guitarist... “Elke, I...” Then Kim was, thankfully, aware of a presence hovering behind them. It was Jessie, waiting to get her hellos in. Kim backed away from Elke in haste, muttering that they’d make up lost time later, and practically dragged Jessie into the apartment complex with her. “She wants me!” Kim gasped as she sank down the wall. Her head was pounding. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Elke... Her best friend since... Since when? Forever. She’d had Elke forever! It was as simple as that. Best friends forever, not lovers. Never lovers! Jessie was kneeling in front of Kim, whispering unheard words, staring at her with sad brown eyes. Her gentle hands were pushing at Kim’s hair, brushing away the tears that reached her cheeks. Then she was pulling Kim to her feet, and leading her to the lift, then to her apartment. Kim didn’t even recognize it as Jessie took the keys from her and led her inside quietly. She was too busy trying to come to terms with something she could never face. “My best friend,” she finally whispered. Jessie nodded, wordless, then pulled Kim to her in a strong embrace. Her fingers were twined through Kim’s hair, and she kissed Kim’s neck gently before letting go. She held Kim even longer with her eyes before leading her to a chair. “I’ve known for a while.” “You have?” Kim was too distraught to understand that Elke’s interest in her had existed before this moment. “The way she acts around you. The way she acts towards me when I’m with you... Her hostilities towards Gwen.” “Don’t say that name.” “I’m sorry.” Kim bowed her head. “It’s ... Elke. It’s just not right, just not real. I can’t understand it. No.” “Why?” “Friends are friends. Friends aren’t ... they’re only friends. A friend doesn’t lust after a friend. Friends are ... they’re friendly. They’re gentle, not forceful. If she wanted me, she should... It should be slower! I ... not just... She’s pulling it out of thin air! She’s...” “It’s been there, Kim. If you ever cared to look.” “No, Jess, I... I would have seen. I swear to you, I would have seen.” Jessie, seeing no way to talk Kim down this time, nodded. “Sure.” “Jess...” Kim felt like she was falling out of the chair. She grabbed onto the arms and ducked her head, almost in pain. “Your blue streak’s gone.” Jessie’s voice was soft. She slipped a backpack off her shoulder, trailing it lightly on the ground as she walked back over to Kim. “Why’d you let that happen?” “I ... got caught up.” “In what?” “Writing.” “So what’s the new album called?” “Blackened Princess, of course.” “For Chatha.” “Cover art by Chatha.” “So will our pink girl be doing any vocals on this one?” “You know our pink grrl--” Kim gave Jessie a look “--doesn’t think her voice fits our style. I’ll settle for keeping her sax. I don’t want to intimidate the poor thing.” “How’s she been?” “Well, she discovered jazz. She loves it, Jess. But she promised me she’d never leave our band behind. I don’t understand why she’s so bloody faithful to me.” “She loves you, Kim.” Jessie went on before the use of that word could get her struck down. “We all do; you brought us here, you made us who we are.” “I made Elke a sex-starved maniac who would rather a bed buddy than a best friend?” “Not like that, Kim...” “Or did I make Gen a druggy? That’s what she is now, y’know. It only took her a bloody month, and I think she’s already snorting.” “Let’s not talk about this, Ms. Kissably.” Kim almost cringed at the familiar name that she hadn’t heard for a month. “I’ve missed you... So bloody much.” “And I you.” Jessie lifted up her backpack and opened it, revealing a container of Manic Panic electric blue to Kim. “We can remedy the time away, can’t we?” “Tell me about America.” “Let me dye your hair?” “Tell me about America while you dye my hair, then.” Kim stood up, heading for the bathroom. “Though please remember that this is my own home, not some hotel room, so no messes allowed.” “There was only a mess because you fought, Kim.” “Don’t you think I know that, Miss America?” They walked into the bathroom and Kim sat on the edge of the bathtub. Jessie set up towels all over the floor before closing the door behind her and kneeling in front of Kim. “I never want to go back to the States, Kim.” That surprised her. She took Jessie’s hand before opening her mouth. “Why?” Jessie pulled her hand back, covering up the agitated motion by opening the hair dye and propping it on the bathtub beside Kim. “Ten years is a long time.” “Yes, I understand that.” “Or is it eleven now? It’s just been so long... He’s nothing like I remembered.” “Parents never are.” Kim kept her voice quiet, hoping that if she said the wrong thing, Jessie wouldn’t hear. “No, I don’t suppose they are.” Jessie picked up a section of Kim’s hair and brushed it out so it was straight. “Your hair’s a mess, Kim.” “I haven’t been paying much attention to anything lately, sorry.” “I understand.” She sighed, taking some of the blue dye on her fingers and rubbing it carefully over the hair as she held it taut. “He doesn’t approve of my being a musician.” She avoided Kim’s eyes, looking only at the one streak of hair. “But he gave you your bass.” “As a hobby, apparently. I should be something more respectable. Be around people more respectable. There’s no worth to this artistry thing, especially since the people I’ve put myself around are hardly artists.” “He said that?” Jessie swallowed. She closed her eyes, which was enough of an answer. “He’s just a bitter old asswipe, Jessie. Probably with a failed musical career of his own.” Jessie was silent, picking up more dye and moving it slowly along the hair. Kim squirmed a little, fighting back the urge to wrap her arms around Jessie and just hug away all the bad thoughts. Because that would be dangerous. “He never wants to speak to me again,” was what Jessie said when she had finished with that strip of hair. Then she put Kim’s hand up and instructed her to hold onto it for a moment. “Shit, Jess, I--” “Two blue streaks this time. One for each side of your part.” Jessie sectioned off more hair and started in on it again. Her hands were both blue, and she left a trail of the dye on her cheek when she tried to wipe away a tear that hadn’t even fallen yet. “Jess--” “Shh, no complaining. Two blue streaks will do you good.” “It’s not that. Jess, please--” “It’s nothing. He’s a bitter old asswipe, nothing more. You’re right, Kim. You’re always right.” She worked her fingers between the strands of hair, more thorough on this chunk than the last. Even when the entire thing glowed with electric blue gunk, she kept working it in. Kim sat in silence, watching Jessie’s face. There was nothing else she could do. The frustrated sadness in Jessie’s eyes hurt to see, and Kim found herself thinking that she could kiss that sadness away. If only for a moment. If only Jessie would let her... Then she found herself being instructed to hold the other blue streak as Jessie washed her hands then brushed Kim’s hair back. “Jess...” Kim’s voice was low. “Yeah?” “I wish I could have been there.” “No, it wouldn’t have been worth it. He would have just gotten you mad enough to hurt him. It wouldn’t have done any good for anyone.” “Jess...” Kim stood up, taking both of Jessie’s hands in hers. “Please, I want to help. What can I do?” “You do enough already, Ms. Kissably. I couldn’t ask for more.” Unable to fight it back any more, Kim threw her arms around Jessie. She held her tightly, breathing into her shoulder, and whispered that she would always keep her safe. “No one can hurt you, Jess; not while I’m around. I won’t let it happen.” Jessie held her back, maybe even tighter than Kim was holding on. She stroked Kim’s hair in its ponytail and stared off into space. “I want to believe that.” “Please, Jess. Let me protect you. Let me do that for you. Trust me. Let me inside.” “Will you ever let me inside?” Kim bit her tongue to keep back a sob. “If I can.” Jessie kissed her forehead, then she kissed her cheek. When their lips were going to meet, the front door to Kim’s apartment slammed open and they heard Chatha’s voice. “E’eryone’s almost back! Tha’ means we’re waitin’ fer Eb, an’ tha’s i’!” Chatha, not caring what she might find, threw open the bathroom door too. “Tha’ means y’two’re gonna’ hafta’ get some o’ the blue off, ‘cause we need anothe’ photo shoot!” |
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Talk to LL,
the author. |